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Isn’t the guy who played Hyde a Scientologist? Yeah, I’m blaming Hyde for this.

Posted on Apr 17th
re: Heidi Klum's Still Topless (20 comments)

What would you give Kim Kardashian’s tits?

“you’re-an-eight”

Posted on Apr 17th
re: Heidi Klum's Still Topless (20 comments)

Vito Schnabel? Damn. I wish my dad made million-dollar art out of broken china so I could grow up to bang German supermodels.

Posted on Apr 15th
re: Here's Your 'Creationist Cosmos' (44 comments)

No, if the Bible doesn’t mention thesuperficial.com, it means thesuperficial.com is a tool of the Devil. Also, computers and cellphones and automobiles—Satan’s handiwork!

Posted on Apr 15th
re: Here's Your 'Creationist Cosmos' (44 comments)

Everything JC said (as well as Dekker below)—except maybe the part about “penis touching.” That’s gay sex? Touching penises together? I thought it was…something else.

Anyway, let me add that I was brought up in a secular household, so I was only a step or two removed from atheism before I came there on my own. Yet I can get as worked up about the Goddy McGod stories as apostates like Fish do, because the “religious abuse” being inflicted on me is coming from the Christian Right and their insistence that I and every other American live by their narrow-minded strictures.

Posted on Apr 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 4.11.14 (15 comments)

It’s true—you atheists have no sense of humor.

– TomFrank’s Ghost, atheist

Posted on Apr 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 4.11.14 (15 comments)

…One day, I noticed only one set of footprints. So I asked the Lord, “Have you abandoned me?” And He said, “No, I was walking behind you in your footprints. ‘Cause Holy Me, dat ass.”

Posted on Apr 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 4.11.14 (17 comments)

Ahahaha. It’s funny because Tobey Maguire was just in The Great Gatsby and his net worth is like $75 million. No, no, you keep on dreaming your little dream that if a celebrity doesn’t keep up his level of fame, he must be broke and jobless all over again. Whatever helps you feel better about yourself.

Why must you make every post about your politics, Buddha??

Posted on Apr 11th
re: Goddammit, Cher, You're 80. Put It Away. (33 comments)

You’re kidding, right? She’s more stacked now than she was on The Sonny & Cher Show 40 years ago.