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I have an overwhelming urge to buy a used car or a home security system from Bradley Cooper.

I think I had an outfit like that in 1992.

Now available – Politician Ken. Trophy Wife Barbie sold separately.

I’m very grateful for the huge hoodie. If the shorts are any indicator, I’m imagining her mid section looks something like the 9th circle of hell.

It looks like a movie poster for a James Bond parody – “Giantpussy” or “The Attendant with the Golden Nozzle.”

She only had time to suck the souls from 9 sacrifices instead of 10 for breakfast and she’s not feeling quite like herself.

He’s teaching that kid all wrong. The thumb goes outside when you throw a punch…

Like the creepy old uncle who tries to hug you just a bit too long.

The only logical explanation for these ridiculous outfits is that she ate her stylist.

That is one unfortunate collection of breasts.