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I would let him do me in my bottom hole.

“moment she started her descent” I’m hearing the voice of my third grade teacher telling me to “check my work”. I’m dumb like that.

The exact moment the she started her descent from “somewhat inappropriate” to “bewilderingly trashy”.

dip him in bleach before you touch him…

I hate that this turd occupies a spot in my brain. I hate that she got paid 1 million dollars to have her sub-par, freckle infested body photographed. I hate that, despite the microcosm of disgust I have for her, I will undoubtedly try and look at these pictures.

I feel like I’m getting a peek inside Ben Affleck’s dreams…Or maybe Jennifer Garners…or… Tom Cruise’s.

My first thought is “why don’t these two hurry up and make a porno, and please go away.” Then, in my second thought, I remember that she is a devout Christian and a “child of God”. Then I just feel terrible for my first thought.