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This girl is dedicated to Easter. Her implants are even made out of Peeps.

Local legend has it that Willie Aames lives in her belly button, feeding off her droppings like a remora.

Paulaner?! Get your ass behind that bar and hook up the Guinness tap!

“Mom said the great thing about cardiologists is they give complimentary boob jobs with their scoliosis treatments. She’s so smart.”

Mom always said if you keep making that face, it will stick that way.

Inspired casting for Lifetime channel’s “The Untold Kate Upton Story: Boxed In.”

Humpty Pumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Pumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s whores and all the king’s men
Wouldn’t touch that shit with a ten foot pole.

The reboot of Streets of Fire isn’t so gritty after all.

Maybe if he stood on his tiptoes, the stuff in his pockets wouldn’t bounce against his knees.

I bet her sugar hut has ants.