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This is the first time I’ve seen someone fake it on the carpool lane with the mannequin in the driver’s seat.

Looks like she visited the same Nigerian witch doctor that performed on her husband’s face. That’s a quality torso.

Cameron Diaz should take note of these properly applied slabs of makeup.

What? That’s just her candidiasis. Jizz. Psssh.

Gauranteed there’s a huge sweat stain running the length of that asscrack.

“Uh-huh, each bead has the name of one of my kids on it.”

They did a good job photoshopping the strings out.

With her own Talking Tina. How cute.

Maybe it’s Maybelline.

“Come on Sambo, get your ass in the car. That was mommy on the phone and she said Chang and Julio are already changed and ready for Act One.”