Randy Cappuccino

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A Pile of Scarves Wearing A Hat Drunkenly Mumbled Something About Trump

Oh, it’s just Johnny Depp – my bad, I thought we had another scarf haunting on our hands… You all remember what happened last time. More »


The Wrap Accidentally Tweeted A D*ck Pic

Whoopsie! More »


Bill Cosby Wants A Tour To Tell Kids How To Avoid Sexual Assault – Bad Idea?

Now that Cosby has narrowly escaped conviction (they’ll be trying again soon), Cosby’s people have announced that he wants to talk to kids about how to avoid getting in trouble while having drug-induced sexcapades… More »


More Evidence Johnny Depp Is A Wife-Beating Boozehound, Anyone?

Remember those ‘fake’ texts between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s assistant claiming that he assaulted her multiple times? Turns out they were real…

To quote the philosoph Coolio, “aw here it goes!More »


Someone Get Ariel Winter’s Boyfriend to Release His Tax Returns

Ariel Winter has had enough of Star Magazine, blasting them as fake news for saying she gives boyfriend Levi Meaden an allowance. The American people need to see those returns, LEVI! What are you hiding!? More »


Did People Just Figure Out DJ Khaled Would Be Horrible To See Live?

Of course he bombed at EDC, he’s basically the guidance counselor of rap music. All he does on tracks is yell positive catch phrases and talk about success. More »


Joanna Krupa’s Side Boob Went To Dinner

It was really nice of Joanna Krupa’s boobs to bring her friend who looks like stripper-Garth to dinner. I’m sure they got a table really close to the bathroom! More »


Let’s Call Kim And Kanye’s Handmaid “Ofye”

Kanye West is renting a surrogate uterus to house his next baby. She’s not allowed to handle cat litter, eat sushi, or speak freely amongst the other handmaids. More »


Daniel Day-Lewis Is Quitting Acting Because Everyone Else Sucks

This is why we can’t have nice things… More »


Mattel’s New Ken Doll Has A Man Bun And Is Looking For Barista Work

Crippling debt, delusions of creative grandeur, and disappointed parents back in Ohio not included! More »



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