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Why do women think it’s sexy to look up to their boyfriends like they’re 4 year olds?
He’s not your daddy. Unless that’s you thing…

How old is she? Remember, Demi, keep the cocaine under the sink away from the kids.

No one knows who the fuck he is in London. Except me, who prides myself on going about and saying “I bet you don’t know who the fuck that is! Eh? Eh? Fuck stumps.”

She looks like Natalie Portman, if you pulled Natalie up by the hair and watched her face stretch to magical lengths.

You know it’s the end of days when Arnold Schwarzenegger tries to dress like Mitt Romney.
Soon he’ll start dragging around an albino named ‘VP’ and make him bite people.

“Den I took dat mudderfucka by da hair and picked up hith thurf board and beat da lifin shit outta him. Pow pow out! K.O. nigga!”

Muffin top, quilted pants belted around his knees, shitty tattoos, quiff hairdo.
This is how you attract girls.

No, but he pays in good feels.
Honestly he could have just said “This show is shit! It’s not even funny! Wtf is wrong with you people?”
Dude’s been suffering bad scripts since before he got ball hair. Maybe he found Jesus now cause he wants to die.

Looks like he ate a pack of Cheetos and didn’t wipe his mouth.

“What the fook is this? Where’s the satchel with the beer? This horse has no satchel. Or beer! That large stream of liquid coming out of it, is that the beer supply? I hate this job.”