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Posted on Oct 23rd, 2013
re: Taylor Swift Is Pregnant (19 comments)

And the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and…the occasional piece of Ikea furniture if he’s feeling particularly fertile. Neither man, woman, beast or inanimate object is safe from Skarsgård sperm. Just ask his step-brother Säter sofa.

Running through the bushes in your tighty whities is very liberating.

Sweet SkarsJesus…those arms!

He shook, but he didn’t wash his hands. Also, SkarJesus leaves the seat up.

SkarsJesus speaks fluent canine.

If you ever find yourself swimming with SkarsJesus, there’s a 50% chance your soul will be saved.

SkarsJesus blessing the unwashed masses.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the Skarsabs, I will fear no beer bellies for SkarsJesus is with me…

With that out of the way, I can’t exactly free my mind if it’s been reduced to liquified sludge in a puddle on the floor, now can I?

Skarsgård. Prince Hot Ginge, that other dude whose name I can never remember, a 335 km trek across a frozen tundra, -40°C temps, 50 mph constant winds, harsh terrain, drinking melted snow for water, sensory deprivation, and walking for up to 18 hours per day. What could possibly go wrong here that won’t end up in frozen batshit drunken nudity? I ask you. I just hope I’m around to watch the footage. *gets popcorn* Hot damn, I’m proud of these guys! That’s some hardcore shit, right there.

So if Skarsgård and team US win this thing, does that mean he gets to declare the South Pole “The New Conquered Realm of the Towering, Thundering Viking Lord of Fuck?” I kinda need to know these things.

Posted on Sep 11th, 2013
re: Alexander Skarsgard Full Frontal On 'True Blood' (NSFW) (3 comments)

Is it wrong that I want to kiss it and make it better?