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Posted on Sep 18th
re: Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Headed For Divorce (31 comments)

It’s not penises. It’s your eardrums trying to escape.

Posted on Sep 18th
re: Mexico Wants To Kill Miley Cyrus Now (17 comments)

Jail in Mexico is akin to water in Mexico. You want to avoid it unless you’re a local.

Posted on Sep 11th
re: Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty of Murder (37 comments)

I couldn’t believe the joke hadn’t already been made.

Posted on Sep 11th
re: Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty of Murder (37 comments)

“We the jury, find the defendant…

Snot guilty.”

Posted on Sep 5th
re: Once You Get Lindsay Lohan, There's No Cure (13 comments)

One of these things is not like the other.

Posted on Sep 4th
re: All Things Begin And End With Coco (17 comments)

Every time she spins around, the waves reverse direction.

Posted on Sep 2nd
re: CeeLo Green Is The Raping Machine (26 comments)

So he’s just being thoughtful.

So what happens if you were to just accidentally glance into the Ark of the Covenant?

Thanks. But for god’s sake, in reality, no — it is not. Just because a group of idiots decide a thing is so does not mean that it actually is.

Ok, somebody explain it to me: what is supposedly offensive about “ninja,” and precisely who is pretending to be offended? Because I just saw a Vanilla Ice commercial which should be…well, all the more offensive if there is anything to this.