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Too quick Ray. You need to slow down the fake redemption tour. Start with entering alcohol rehab/anger management for a month or two. Then do some basic Bible study (you have plenty of time now.) After 4 or 5 months, then come out and say you’ve found God and given up alcohol. By then it’s only about February, and you plenty of time to get signed and go to training camp.

Posted on Aug 27th
re: Kanye West: 'My Dad Was A Paparazzo' (16 comments)

Isn’t this the same as saying “I’m not a racist, I have black friends”? So your dad was a paparazzo, that doesn’t keep you from punching a paparazzo.

Posted on Jul 24th
re: The Crap We Missed - Thursday 7.24.14 (27 comments)

gravity: 1
Lilo: 0

Maybe the reason she didn’t get a record deal is she f**ks like she sings, mediocre.

Posted on Jul 2nd
re: Lindsay Lohan at The Premiere of 'Scary Movie 5' (6 comments)

“Even my diseased hands are afraid of touching these toxic tits.”

Posted on Jun 27th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 6.27.14 (21 comments)

Just make sure her crotch doesn’t start a fire or you’ll need more than the piano man to stop the burning of your Captain Jack.

Posted on Jun 27th
re: Angel Haze On Ireland Baldwin: 'We F*ck' (52 comments)

She looks like she would wreck you in the bedroom. One of those biting, clawing, and wild women. I love those.

Posted on Jun 27th
re: Angel Haze On Ireland Baldwin: 'We F*ck' (52 comments)

Where do I sign away my soul to be with both of them at the same time? Because they’re both pretty hot.

Shia: Do you know who the f*** I am?!
Cop: No, I don’t. Because you’re not famous anymore.

Posted on Jun 24th
re: The Crap We Missed - Tuesday 6.24.14 (13 comments)

Cover up, please. You don’t want Hank Baskett calling you.