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Posted on Oct 21st
re: Jena Malone Is Probably Batfleck's Robin (37 comments)

Ugh, I hope not

Posted on Oct 21st
re: Jena Malone Is Probably Batfleck's Robin (37 comments)

Worst Robin of all time? *cough*jasontodd*cough*

Posted on Oct 21st
re: Ray Rice Could Be Reinstated Next Month (54 comments)

Don, just in case you weren’t clear on the matter, you’re a scum bag. Just throwing that out there, in case it skipped your mind.

Posted on Oct 21st
re: Ray Rice Could Be Reinstated Next Month (54 comments)

Yeah, so what if the dude who can bench 400 lbs straight up jacks a 115 lb person in the face?

Posted on Oct 21st
re: Ray Rice Could Be Reinstated Next Month (54 comments)

I agree, double standards are bullshit, so when a 208 lb muscle-bound female running back knocks her 115 lb communications major husband the fuck out, I’ll be first in line to admonish them.

Before we found out that the Jay-Z/Solange fight was bullshit, I WAS indignant about it, but you’re right, I wasn’t THIS indignant about it. Because Solange isn’t a fucking professional athlete. If Solange could bench 400 lbs like Ray Rice (a fun fact recorded in an interview with Muscle & Body Magazine last year) it would be a much more serious matter.

Posted on Oct 20th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 10.17.14 (18 comments)

No, she was telling the truth to a point. All sets of boobs are mismatched to one degree or another. But that’s not an excuse for an upgrade.

Posted on Oct 13th
re: Kat Dennings' Breasts Are Dating Josh Groban (16 comments)

I prefer her before the weight loss, but you’re absolutely right. I would annex the hell out of her Sudetenland.

Wait…she’s Jewish…this is probably not the best way for me to express my desire to fuck her. Let me try again… *eh-hem*

I’d march my Wehrmacht right up her Champs-Élysées. Wait, that might have been worse. One more try.

I’d unleash a holocaust of jizz all over her face. Ok…this is just getting out of hand. Maybe I should just dispense with metaphor.

I want to put my penis between her boobs. There, done.

Posted on Oct 13th
re: Kat Dennings' Breasts Are Dating Josh Groban (16 comments)

She’s also being packed in by the dress. But, yeah, she has lost weight. And, yeah, I am also against this.

As if Martha wouldn’t use artisanal concrete.

But, no, she wouldn’t sink her in the ocean. Martha’s got a mutherfucking drone, she can launch an aerial assault on her.

Posted on Oct 8th
re: Stephen Collins Fired From 'Ted 2' (27 comments)

Boom! Mike drop.