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Mmmmm! Fuzzy doggie snack. …

… So put in your ear plugs, put on your eye-shade … you know where to put the cork!

He’s wondering what we’re all wondering: Now that Disney owns Lucasfilms, will we get that “Willow” sequel we’ve been clamoring for?

Wolverine: The Twilight Years …

Richard Kiel? I thought it was Drew Carey. Then again, the aura of faded talent is nowhere to be found here. My bad.

And so she learns the sad reality that the zoo won’t actually pay her for the kid. Cheer up. There’s still the carnival. Plus Ringling Brothers is coming to town.

The look plainly says “Here comes daddy. Crap!”

Agreed. Just reprint this as is for “The Most Important People on the Internet.”

Take a good look, Lohan! This is you in about – wait. Never mind.
Damn, this “Scared straight” stuff never works!

Mystery solved. This isn’t the real Alec Baldwin. It is his evil twin, the nefarious Aleque Boldwain, master of disguise (hence the sheet) and proponent of bad celebrity behavior (see: the past season of “30 Rock”).
Notice all of the bad pub started after Mr. Baldwin’s proclamation that if George W won the 2000 election, he would move to Paris. Obviously, the fiend fixed the election, forcing this man of integrity to live up to his proclamation, opening the door for Boldwain to swoop down upon the helpless members of the fourth estate and begin a reign of terror that fills our airwaves to this day.
Mr. Obama, in the name of all that is true and just, send Seal Team 6 to the City of Lights to return our favored star and drive this menace from our shores.
Before they start filming “Madagascar 5!”