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Posted on Apr 16th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 4.16.14 (12 comments)

Five hours of holding those poses paid off when a paparazzi, strolling between celebrity houses, stopped to take a piss on their lawn.

Posted on Apr 16th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 4.16.14 (38 comments)

That creaking you hear isn’t a squeaky wheel. It’s bicycle language for ‘Melt me down and kill me now.’

Posted on Apr 16th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 4.16.14 (5 comments)

An hour of her relentless, vapid complaining, and suddenly it didn’t matter who her dad was.

Posted on Apr 16th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 4.16.14 (24 comments)

Have you ever heard a doily scream for death?

Posted on Apr 16th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 4.16.14 (32 comments)

They both stood in silence. Mark stared at the door in disbelief, hoping something, anything would interrupt the trial. Dina looked off into the distance, shocked that Mark had found the pills hidden in her rabbit’s foot so quickly. At least he hadn’t found that flask of everclear in her vagina. That was safe, for now. Yet in the end, he would find that, too, once the trial was over and it was time to pay up.

Posted on Apr 16th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 4.16.14 (27 comments)

Death really pulls some tail.

Posted on Apr 16th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 4.16.14 (23 comments)

“And so when you’re sacrificed, your life-force will be transferred into our bodies, giving us the energy, longevity, and vigor needed to be a royal. It’s all quite simple, really.”

Posted on Apr 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 4.11.14 (19 comments)

I hear the pawn shop down the street has a great deal on two Hall of Fame trophies right now.

Posted on Apr 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 4.11.14 (6 comments)

In a constant state of jubilant shock since 1987.

Posted on Apr 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 4.11.14 (16 comments)

“Black tar heroine. Go now.”