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“Would you at least make it look like I have some control over you? These pictures are going to be in People.”

There can be only one…autograph!

“Blunt or blunts? And are we drinking 40′s or grape drank tonight? Whichever is fine. I’m just from the suburbs, so I don’t really know these things. Did you leave my whip running?”

Little did River know, her herpes cannon was already drawing aim.

Chaz Bono has really let himself go.

“Once they announced the winner, there was no silencing these lambs. Ha. Yes, well, off to kill myself. Pip pip.”

“Imma push that bitch over that rail…with my dick. What?” – Chris Brown

The last time I saw something like these, they were being sold out of a jar in a convenience store in Alabama.

Another typical Jon Hamm wardrobe malfunction.

“No, no thank you. I’d rather not. I’ve seen Herbie. I know what these monsters are capable of.: