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Posted on Sep 16th
re: Martha Stewart Is Cutting Bitches (10 comments)

Can we all just take a moment to let this set in. Martha Stewart, the most insane, uptight, “I will fire you all if I ever see the crab fork in the wrong place again, up her own ass woman looks at GooP and goes, “The bitch is out of control. She needs to be stopped.”

On the other hand I can’t wait for the east coast west coast prim lifestyle ladies gang war.

Posted on Jul 25th
re: Paris Hilton Made Another Carl's Jr. Commercial (36 comments)

I can’t watch this with out flashing back to archer

“Ugh, she is riddled with Herpes”

“Hey! Innapropriate workplace topic! … And also a deal-breaker.”

Posted on Jun 27th
re: Jenny McCarthy's Acting Like She Quit 'The View' (60 comments)

If we flash back and ask 10 year old version of me the question of “So Assuming the chick from singled out fights the aging process so hard that they are in a long war with little to no movement, in 19 years who would you rather see more of Jenny McCarthy or Chris Hardwick?” He would have thought we have the gotten to the bad future where the answer is, and without thinking, Chris Hardwick. But again as must be said Here breasts are amazing and the woman is fighting the aging process to a damn near stand still, though either lucky genetics or the work of the excellent surgeon.

Seriously? Seriously. Reading mean online comics is like being through a war. I’m not even going to touch the part where apperently she wants us to evolve into … what pure balls of light. Honestly who likes Paltrow any more. She’s not hot enough to be for guys, Women just look at her and go “The bitch needs to be stopped”, she’s too frilly for lesbians, and gay guys are the ones who are writing a solid 80% of the “mean” articles online about her.

I think she should be given no media attention until next Ironman movie she appears in. Give 6 months of media attention, and then back to her media black hole. For the good of all.

Maybe just maybe he met a bald stripper with a Lex Luthor theme. And they only way she’ll let him into her Legion of Doom is an act of ultimate darkness. I mean that’s the only way I can gather for him to cross from normal “I’m going to use what power I have to screw over my ex” evil into straight up super villain evil.

Oy vey. First off she gets a tiny tiny break. Your child has a major condition or other things like Autism as a parent you feel somewhat better to think that there is something you did caused it cause the idea of just random luck meaning your child’s life has a greater degree of difficulty is a more soul crushing. It’s a weird human thing we would rather think we failed our kids then there was nothing we could do.

Now that out of the way. OH MY GOD. I know some of my religious people are freaken crazy, but if you would rather have the idea of God to be this soul crushing petty being that is all “Well you gave that blow job in college so now your kid has MS,” then what the fuck is wrong with you so that Idea is what brings you comfort.

Oh Poor Mariah. She pretends to not know who the Kardashians are, but she’s starting to look like one of them. And not a cute one.

What I’m getting at is at this point if Mariah and Khloe went out drinking, Khole would, in a death is not an option situation, be the cute one.

Girl best check herself.

Posted on Mar 18th
re: Jenna Dewan Looking Hot As Shit (5 comments)

Maybe she just doesn’t know how to wash a car?

Posted on Mar 17th
re: Fred Phelps Is Dying (54 comments)

So as much as I think the guy is a total waste of the wonderful nightmare that is existance I hope that if it’s true, he goes out how most of us hope to go. With out pain, surrounded by family and friends or with your face so deep in a 22 year olds cleavage that you are coming out somewhere in Narnia.

I also hope that if God has half the sense of humor that I hope it does, the first thing he hears as he passes into the hear after is “Do you believe of life after love.”

Posted on Mar 14th
re: Kristin Cavallari Won't Vaccinate Her Kids (157 comments)

So we should do what we do with STDs, if you knowingly don’t vaccinate your child and your child catches and spreads a communicable diseases you are guilty of assault with a deadly weapon.

Also shit that pisses me off. “Not all scientists agree.” YEAH CAUSE YOU CAN PAY SOME SCIENTISTS TO SAY ANYTHING OR THEY HAVE THEIR OWN NON OBJECTIVE GOALS. But you get enough scientists together they form a god damn concencus and if you can prove them wrong in a way they can actually repeat in their labs they will go “Shit wrong. Good on ya.”

Third. You know why there is more autism diagnoses now, BECAUSE WE FUCKING KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR. I mean remember in the good old days where if you admitted that you hear things that aren’t there either got you burned at the stake for being a witch or set up as a prophet. Now we just go “Oh that’s a bit of schizo effective disorder. We have a pill for that.” If you were an high functioning autistic then you were the very very weird kid nobody talked to, if you weren’t so lucky you were labeled Mentally Retarded and shipped off to a special school. Now they know that maybe taking some steps with it and you can help a kid who thinks a lot differently to you know survive, function, and hopefully flourish in society.