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My head canon is that after her first major break down something snapped inside her. She had her one bad day and they realized that nothing matters and is now basically the Joker. Her handlers realized you can’t market nihilistic, sociopathic, murderous pop starlets. So they drug her to keep her in a stupor.

But every few years she starts to pick up a resistance and they have to ween her off the current batch of meds to place her on her cocktail, but it is the time of fear. Her father’s heart stops every time there is one knife missing. He walks down a hall way slowly fumbling for the lights all he hears echoing out “Sometimes I run, Sometimes I hide. Sometimes I’m scared of you.” and the shuffling of feet.

Posted on Oct 14th
re: And Now Chris Brown Will Solve Ebola (27 comments)

Wait, a celebrity spoke out the side of their ass on a subject they would have little to no knowledge on and then with in 3 minutes went “I am an idiot and will shut up now.”

I do not know or understand this new strange world we live in. Someone bring we the reassuring glow of a reality show star from the early 00′s or a sitcom star of the mid to late 90′s telling me how vaccines cause autism. I need to be made to feel safe.

Posted on Oct 9th
re: Holy Sh*t, It's The Reverse-Flash! (18 comments)

We all love Wally and are less in his absence. But the New 52 is filthy people and we will speak of them no more.

Posted on Oct 9th
re: Holy Sh*t, It's The Reverse-Flash! (18 comments)

… I wanna like this show so much. Like the only way I can like this show better is if this was wally west. And then I see the costuming. Which looks like kinky latex sex suits.

This is the show I that when I’m caught watching it I’m trying to explain it will do everything to me the stuff other shows won’t even consider. Weird stuff.

I get that most actors think that they are going to make it big and win an Oscar, but at some point to make your bones you are going to do movies that offend your sensibilities and artistic integrity cause you’ve got rent to pay.

There are 3 damn choices. First bite down do it and be bitchy about it (in private. Public just makes you a god damn tool). Pull an Ewan McGreggor where you realize that for every 3 indie films you love making is going to be financed by doing one soulless block buster (And if you have a big one your residuals and back end deal might mean you can eventually stop doing so many of them). Or take a page out of Patrick Stewart’s book and just realize that you can dive in whole hog and try to be the bright shinning light in a very shitty movie.

Posted on Sep 23rd
re: Kris & Bruce Jenner Filed For Divorce (22 comments)

So does this mean Kris will be going back to her maiden name? Cause I can’t pronounce “That which corrupts all it touches” in the black speech of Mordor. Too many rolling Rs.

Posted on Sep 16th
re: Martha Stewart Is Cutting Bitches (10 comments)

Can we all just take a moment to let this set in. Martha Stewart, the most insane, uptight, “I will fire you all if I ever see the crab fork in the wrong place again, up her own ass woman looks at GooP and goes, “The bitch is out of control. She needs to be stopped.”

On the other hand I can’t wait for the east coast west coast prim lifestyle ladies gang war.

Posted on Jul 25th
re: Paris Hilton Made Another Carl's Jr. Commercial (36 comments)

I can’t watch this with out flashing back to archer

“Ugh, she is riddled with Herpes”

“Hey! Innapropriate workplace topic! … And also a deal-breaker.”

Posted on Jun 27th
re: Jenny McCarthy's Acting Like She Quit 'The View' (60 comments)

If we flash back and ask 10 year old version of me the question of “So Assuming the chick from singled out fights the aging process so hard that they are in a long war with little to no movement, in 19 years who would you rather see more of Jenny McCarthy or Chris Hardwick?” He would have thought we have the gotten to the bad future where the answer is, and without thinking, Chris Hardwick. But again as must be said Here breasts are amazing and the woman is fighting the aging process to a damn near stand still, though either lucky genetics or the work of the excellent surgeon.

Seriously? Seriously. Reading mean online comics is like being through a war. I’m not even going to touch the part where apperently she wants us to evolve into … what pure balls of light. Honestly who likes Paltrow any more. She’s not hot enough to be for guys, Women just look at her and go “The bitch needs to be stopped”, she’s too frilly for lesbians, and gay guys are the ones who are writing a solid 80% of the “mean” articles online about her.

I think she should be given no media attention until next Ironman movie she appears in. Give 6 months of media attention, and then back to her media black hole. For the good of all.