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Posted on Jul 11th
re: Kim Kardashian's Marriage Is Already Falling Apart (39 comments)

Took me a while, DK, but I gotta admit what tipped it is that pap shot of Kanye and Kim romping around on their honeymoon:
http://boredomtherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/animal-size-comparison-5.jpg

Posted on Jul 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 7.11.14 (12 comments)

“And then we can paint it blue but of course not the same blue as the dining room because a child’s room really should be softer because I saw on Oprah that softer colors make a child sleep better and of course we want to him to be an easy sleeper because that leaves more of the night for us, doesn’t it, Jionni, so we can get working on number two, wouldn’t it be nice for him to have a little brother or sister, I guess I’d like a little girl, but it doesn’t really matter so long as the baby’s healthy, don’t you think, Jionni …”
“Kill me.”

Posted on Jul 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 7.11.14 (21 comments)

If I had grandchildren, I suppose I’d be telling them about the old days when singles were released by actual singers.

Well, I think I’ll put on some shorts, pull black socks up to my knees, and go mow the lawn.

Posted on Jul 11th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 7.11.14 (18 comments)

They were going to feature the Kardashian sisters in the first episode, but there isn’t that much paint.

Posted on Jul 11th
re: Kim Kardashian's Marriage Is Already Falling Apart (39 comments)

Well of course she always wants to be near a pool. The hippopotamus is semiaquatic.

Posted on Jul 9th
re: Selena Gomez Got Implants (Probably) (41 comments)

Air____s for the Douche-____.

Posted on Jul 9th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 7.9.14 (18 comments)

“You just tried to look up the Duchess’ skirt, didn’t you?”
“Hahaha … got me, Dad!”

Posted on Jul 9th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 7.9.14 (19 comments)

I guess the trick is to get the tits far enough forward that the ass doesn’t pull you back, and the ass far enough back that the tits don’t pull you forward.

Posted on Jul 9th
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 7.9.14 (18 comments)

“Look, dude, I’m telling you, you’re drinking a bottle of gasoline additive.”

Posted on Jul 8th
re: The Crap We Missed - Tuesday 7.8.14 (13 comments)

*wound.