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What’s “Tokarev” about? A funeral director with Bell’s Palsy?

I bet it’s not the news cycle, I bet they’re trying to cook up a name that can be trademarked for commercial use, like Pat Riley did with “threepeat.” If the name ends up being something “unique,” that’ll be the reason.

I enjoyed the clip because I have kind of a scraggly beard, and I could pretend it was me killing Scott Disick. With a mouthful of helium.

“Yeah, buddy, real funny, real funny. No, she didn’t cut off my pair long before she cut off her pair.”

Is it Crop Over already? Gosh, where does the time go.

She’s listing to starboard.

“Hee-YAH! Lance Armstrong was right! This type of bike seat feels *exactly* like a rim job!”

Bo(i)ng, bo(i)ng, bo(i)ng …

I suspect the kind of gal willing to charge an armed man topless in the Arctic might not have the same body type as the kind of gal willing to mince around topless on a stage with Heidi Klum.

How about this? “He wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant if after dinner he’d had a Brownie Obsession®.”