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Posted at 10:26am
re: Natasha Henstridge Bikini Photos: Honolulu (4 comments)

That there is a fucking tragedy. I just felt a quarter of my pubescent alone time suck back into me in the shape of a Species VHS tape.

Posted on May 9th
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 5.9.14 (15 comments)

I don’t always stare vacantly into the distance, but when I do, I make sure my stunt double is compassionately undressing the viewer with his eyes.

Posted on Oct 22nd, 2013
re: The Crap We Missed - Tuesday 10.22.13 (16 comments)

An den, Renee, he said to me, dis black man, Monsieur Ceelo was a fan of mine, an all my fans are innocent, free arts. En so your Honour, I ask dat you once MORE, YOU OPEN THE DOOR AN YOU’RE EERE IN MY ART N MY ART WILL GO ON…
“Shyeet. Lock me the fuck up your honour.”

Posted on May 28th, 2013
re: Candice Swanepoel Bikini Photos: Miami (1 comments)

And that would be two “Bitch”, one “What are you looking at?” one “I like boogie boards!” and one “Sweet Jesus, THIS is why I go to the beach instead of the hotel pool.”

Posted on Mar 12th, 2013
re: Sarah Palin's Writing A Book About Christmas (40 comments)

That last paragraph in the post left me gasping for air.

Posted on Dec 8th, 2012
re: The Crap We Missed - Friday 12.7.12 (55 comments)

If we were any further in the uncanny valley I’d be making out with Aki Ross.