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And the dude on the left can’t be bothered because he has a new pair of fuzzy red booties and all of us can just kiss his ass.

It looks like Truck Nuts.

Or just the worst game of marry/fuck/kill ever.

Aw c’mon now, this is an enviable rear view for a woman of her age.

Haaahahahaha, workout clothes. Sure.

Googled her — she’s a plus size model/designer/famewhore and that bikini (as well as the dumb jewelry) is from her own fashion line. Which makes it even more hilarious that the top’s on upside-down.

What is it with the French people and that “I am zmelling zomezing ztinky” nose?

She looks as fortunate a combination of her two parents as Chelsea Clinton was unfortunate.

Because, as a woman who doesn’t look like that, my job is to search out and remark upon whatever small flaw I can find with her. After careful inspection, I had a choice between a snide comment about this “candid” pose, her obligatory tat, something to do with Rob Kardashian, or her armpit vagina. And how could I not go with the armpit? Look at that thing. It’s weird. And now I feel better about myself. See how that works?