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Still beats Locks of Love. And those “paralyzed veteran” groups that send you address labels.

Posted on Feb 27th
re: Miley Cyrus & Robin Thicke: VMAs 2013 (5 comments)

Beetlejuice and a winged monkey from Oz.

His pants are more offensive than the simulated sex. And a good enough reason for divorce.

Posted on Nov 26th, 2013
re: Kanye West Thinks He Can Make People Stop Buying Louis Vuitton (32 comments)

Does Louis Vuitton make a douche bag? Because that would be sweet product placement.

Posted on Oct 21st, 2013
re: Rihanna Just Got Us All Killed (22 comments)

How enlightening to perform in a place where women get arrested for being raped. Wonder what kind of sentence she’d get for being punched in the face.

He’s got enough hair for five Travoltas. But who the fuck is he?

One part Randy Travis to two parts Buster Poindexter. Serve with eyeliner and gothy macramé.

Xenu might want to look into some Crest White Strips there.

Posted on Jul 11th, 2013
re: The Crap We Missed - Wednesday 7.10.13 (16 comments)

Charlie Chan and the Case of the Missing Masseuse.

Posted on Jul 2nd, 2013
re: The Crap We Missed - Monday 7.1.13 (11 comments)

You know anything about changing a nose? Wanna help me change a nose here? No? I could use a little help. I need a little assistance. I never took a shop class, and I need a little help. Ok, I’m just coming flat out and saying ‘help me.’ Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a nose? 25, 30 dollars. 30 dollars to change this nose. 35 dollars to change this nose right now.