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Ya know, if I had to be anally raped I guess I’d just as soon have the pope do it. Well, the Pope or Kanye, either would be fine.

Expectation: I look like Gwyneth.
Reality: I look like me.

The three idiots

I walked along the avenue.
I never thought I’d meet a girl like you;
Meet a girl like you.
With auburn hair and tawny eyes;
The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through;
Hypnotize me through.

If emancipated means suffocation then yeah, I’m all for it.

As the official Superficial spokesperson for everyone over 50, I can tell you that in his day, (1976), Bruce Jenner was cool as fuck and banged his fair share of supermodels.

Unfortunately something happened on the way to old age because now he looks like Rene Richards, (another old person reference), and he’s banging the most hideous bitch on the planet.

If Dinklage was just to the left the picture would be perfect.

Hitler can’t reach the pedals and flips out.

“Nein nein nein nein!!!!”

I can almost see her bieber.

Im not digging the flapjacks or the Rorschach dress.