Audrina Patridge makes $10K just to drink at a bar

July 11th, 2008 // 61 Comments

In a giant “Fuck you!” to me from the universe, I’ve learned that Audrina Patridge of MTV’s The Hills gets paid $10,000 just to show up at clubs and drink. Nobody ever pays me to drink. Though somebody once tried to pay me not to drink. I told them to take their million bucks and scram. NY Daily News reports:

Not only does the contract require the $10k she earned, it also promises that Patridge and her entourage will be well taken care of. The Maxim model, 23, demands “a secure VIP area with complimentary beer, mixed drinks and bottle service (two bottles) and at least one security guard at all times,” according to the rider.

If somebody shows up a club screaming “Oh my God, I have to get in! Audrina Patridge is here!”, I think the bouncers should legally be allowed to sterilize that person. I dunno, that’s just me. Call me crazy, but I’d like to see the human race survive and not be snuffed out in a “poof” of fake tits, lattes and vapid assclowns. Unless that “poof” is the sound of an H-bomb hitting Spencer Pratt in the neck.

superficial

  1. ph7

    I’ll pay her $10,001 to star in a porn movie with me.

  2. Andy

    It’s ironic that she has big boobs and small lips. She should look for a guy who has the opposite.

  3. sillysalamander

    FIRST THUNDER-CUNTS!!!!
    Boooooyah!!!

  4. JRS

    Some noname gets paid thousands to drink at a club? What the hell is this world coming to?

  5. Ted from LA

    I’ll bet Client #9 would pay her more.

  6. TOOL

    She should be serving drinks at the bar for that much. By drinks I mean milk.

  7. jake

    actually, I think ph7 hit the nail on the head. She might have a short career in porn, but that’s about it.

  8. Grunion

    She should have got her implants on her chest, not her waist.

  9. steve

    she’ll be sucking some old rich guy’s cock in a few years. You know, when the next implanted young hottie comes along and takes her place.

  10. NotBlonde

    She’s a useless twat,

    I hate the term “bottle service”. Anyone who says it just sounds like a total douche. There is absolutely no possible way that you can use that expression without sounding like an asshole. None.

  11. Ted Mosby

    So two appearances made her enough to pay for the boob job?

  12. bakinmycake

    I can hear her getting fatter…..

  13. Plobes

    Dearest Superfish,

    What’s a Patridget?

    Is it a typo or a new name for this upper lip-less whore?

  14. Sandy

    For a brunette with a fairly dark complexion, she’s extraordinarily white.

  15. TOOL

    Isn’t “bottle service” the thing that gash in the mexican whore house does with an empty coke bottle.

  16. veggi

    That poor nig – he was going for a feel and then he noticed the cameras. Still, that’s a lot of inhibitory capacity for dungboy.

  17. sla

    The beginning of the hills marks the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it.

    I woud appreciate knowing if she was at a club so I could avoid it.

    And I guess she is attractive but I find something a little weird about her eyes, and she just seems lacking in originality. Kind of carbon-copy looks.

  18. H

    If I see one more update about any of the fake sluts from The Hills, I am going to scream.
    Does anyone actually care about these idiots? Isn’t this supposed to be a /celebrity/ gossip site?

  19. snackmaster

    But wait, doesn’t Spencer Pratt get $100K just to show up at a club? I guess the “I’ll come to the club to punch that douchebag in the face” crowd is a lot bigger than the “I’m going to give her a Cleveland Steamer in the V.I.P. booth while she enjoys some “bottle service” crowd.

  20. Jumpin_J

    For the love of our children, nay, our civalization, here’s how things should progress:

    1) People ask who the $#@! is Audrina Partidge
    2) She gets denied into clubs
    3) Porn. Nuff said.

  21. steve

    Very weird story. If I walked into a club and saw this chick, I’d be pretty sure I was in the wrong place.

  22. bonci

    This “story” is like when a DJ puts exactly the wrong song on, and the dance floor clears.

  23. Will

    I hate this God awful society and all of the backwards ass pricks who participate in it’s pageantry as well.

  24. I don't give a fuck about my spelling

    Before plastic surgery this girl looked like Rafael’s bikinified girlfriend minus the hips. It’s girl like Audrina that give a warped concept that girls who have really low body fat can have big boobs. I knew a few “skinny” girl with big boobs, but once I saw them in bathing suits i realized they were skinny-fat and that’s why they had big boobs. Big boobs on a naturally slim, very tight body are really really rare. Even Skangelina has this weird bony, veiny, spear fishing arms, flat pasty ass thing going on (which makes her body not so a grade) and her naturally big boobs are balanced out by the fact that she’s a fucking lunatic who ruined her body with hideous tatoos (and for a woman who believes so much in adoption and helping the worlds children she sure is adding to the population) . I bet once those twins are born sex with her will be like “throwing a hotdog down a hallway”.

    Anyway this bitch bores me, she has the stupidest looking eyes I’ve ever seen. I can’t stand how much these useless pieces of shit are paid it’s fucking revolting. Fucking materialistic greedy overpaid ego maniacs, hollywood is such a shithole!!! All she has to do is go to four clubs a year and she’ll have made as much as an average firefighter.. A FIREFIGHTER. Bet this bitch couldn’t even figure out how to blow out a candle let alone run into a burning building and save strangers lives. This world makes me sick.

  25. Webster's Dictionary

    jeal·ous Pronunciation[jel-uhs]
    -adjective
    1. See #24

  26. #24 veggi, is that you??

  27. FCS

    Good old ceiling eyes

  28. I don't give a fuck about my spelling

    #25. Nope I’m one of the rare ones. C cup and as much body fat as this girl, we have a simmilar bod, but I have longer legs and mila kunis/katy perry eyes (thankfully), but thanks for using your dime store psychology on my post!!!

    unoriginal and needing a cheat aid see post #25.

  29. Mike

    I’d pay $10,000 (if I had it!) to put my ‘bar’ in her…rowr!!!!

  30. JR

    Someone should snuff this stupid cunt.

  31. no thanks

    Look folks Audrina posted on the superfish @ #25. Poor Audrina she has to carry a Webster’s dictionary everywhere she goes just to manage to understand the English language (even though it is her mother tongue and the only language she “speaks”). So in how many years do you have to get those sacks rotated? I’ll wait a week for the answer while you look up all those big words in my question.

  32. Captain Jack Sparrow

    @24
    Do not panic, the doctor will put an extra stitch or two back in it for you if you ask…

  33. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    She looks like Tara Reid w/Brown hair.

  34. Stan

    Only a complete loser would get worked up about this chick. She’s the definition of meh.

  35. Rhonday

    Average girl at the clubs. Nothing special.

  36. admrlgrl2085

    money can’t buy brains so she’ll still be a useless tool…

  37. Tina

    That dress is a great color for her!

  38. simplicity

    Am I missing something
    Why is she a model?
    She has a funky face… seriously.

    Not jealous… Not whatever…

    She has a pig nose or something.

    No way should anyone pay her to drink… nevermind model.

  39. Jake

    Her contract can say whatever the hell it wants, it doesnt mean any bars are paying it.

    If she wanders into some bar at random, she gets what they choose to give her (a free drink and stale nuts).

    If some bar contacts her and asks her to come, she gets the contract. What are the chances any bars are doing that? zero.

  40. Tom

    She’s a ditz, but I respect the fact that she got naked and released those photos onto the net. Now, here’s a chick that knows how the game is played! Nobody here would have even heard of this chick had it not been for those photos.

    Thanks for playing Audrina. And, Heidi Montag, you could learn a thing or two from Audrina here.

  41. charm

    There is something not right about her. I can’t place what it is though. Her expression, her eyes, her mouth? A combination of all three… I dunno.

  42. bleh

    What’s not right about her is that she NEVER makes eye contact with anyone–look in any tabloid magazine or still photo. She is always looking up into the “great beyond.”

    Whoever said the beginning of The Hills marked the end of civilization was dead-on.

  43. chi

    i’m hard pressed to believe that her presence at a bar could generate $10,000+ for the bar owners.

  44. dude_on

    Audrina is perplexing because she’s almost pretty, almost interesting, and almost worthy of discussion as a result. I applaud her for her ability to make herself almost relative – and in the last pic you will notice she is almost able to completely close her mouth. btw – I thoroughly enjoyed her bikini shoot earlier this Summer when she showed her snatch. Very creative and obviously very productive for a D-lister.

  45. hitler

    what a fucking country.
    we all deserve to die real soon.

  46. Plobes

    It’s PARTRIDGE, like the Partridge Family

    not Patridge

    you’re usually a good spellerfish.
    i just wanted to tell you.

  47. Shannon

    God, I am so sick of these talentless wastes of skin who walk around thinking they are so hot — Audrina, Paris, Nicole, Brody, Speidi, Lauren and their cohorts can DIAF as far as I’m concerned.

    And, #24, Angelina Jolie had Shiloh via C-section. I’m sure she will do the same with the twins. So no hallways for Brad’s hot dog.

  48. Conky

    Who actually gives her that kind of money? I wouldn’t give her $10 to blow me!*

    *This assumes I no longer had my girlfriend who does it for free and even then I can’t see going over $12 tops.

  49. …………………AND THIS IS THE FUTURE OF AMERICA?

  50. htris

    I love whoever is writing this shit. It’s a great read and it cracks me up when I need it. I like that I can come to this site and read your comments and know that I will not be dissapointed. Fuck the people that give you negative comments

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