Audrina Patridge tries on bikinis

December 12th, 2008 // 67 Comments

Audrina Patridge tried on bikinis yesterday while her Hills co-star Lauren Conrad sat and watched which, I’m guessing, was tantamount to torture for two reasons: 1. Lauren probably can’t pour her coffee in the morning without getting slapped silly by Audrina’s insane breast gap. 2. It’s never fun to be reminded that when you wear a bikini, you exude the raw sexuality of oatmeal. No, really, I’ve been more aroused by the Quaker Oats guy. (For the record: I drunkenly confused him for a MILF. Thank God Mrs. Buttersworth was there…)


  1. lewisredd


  2. SATAN

    i’d fuck her and all her friends until they were piles of maggots
    and marie claude bourbonnais

  3. SATAN

    she’s so hot, i wanna make meatloaf outta her pussy

  4. SATAN

    she’s so hot, i wanna make meatloaf outta her pussy

  5. Harry Doyle

    If you don’t think she’s hot, then you’re gay…. a girl can NEVER be too skinny.

  6. Awesome pics… she is hot…
    Almost as hot as Never Back Down…that one scene…

  7. dude

    CraP! Her abdomen hangs like an 80 year old woman!


  8. jrz

    OOH! What a sexy pelvic bone jutting out of her! That must feel fucking great to rub up against…..*rolls eyes*

  9. Pat

    She’s one of the unfortunate skinny-fat girls. A skeleton with meaty thighs. If she gain enough weight to hide all those bones sticking out on her upper body, she’d be waddling down below.

  10. gotmilk?

    those bones look like they’re about to break through the skin. nasty.

    and her teeth always seem too big for her mouth.

  11. Superchicken

    Mmm, bones.

  12. kagrez

    Actually, Harry Doyle

    In many cases in history, those who like super skinny girls -are- gay.
    Take Gilles de Rais, who fucked/killed little boys in his spare time, and was ONLY attracted to women when they were thin enough to look like boys.

  13. JimmyBachaFungool

    Let me call out to everyone’s attention what her real problem is. Yes, she looks hot in a bikini but when you look at other pics of her, you must ask yourself, “What is it about her that isn’t right?”

    The answer: She has too much white showing under her eye. Her brown eyes look pushed up and too much white shows underneath. That’s her biggest flaw. her body is hot but her eyes are f’ed up.

  14. Deuce Bigalow

    I would take her home anytime!!!!

  15. She’s not normal. A normal American girl in a bikini has saddlebag thighs, a cottage cheese butt, and a gut hanging over the waistband.

  16. Ted Mosby

    I’d ride her like Seattle Slew.

  17. Pete Wentz

    She is the hottest chick on TV in this decade. I would fuck her until my dick fell off from all those diseases she must be carrying. it’s worth it.

    the unusually (artificial) long distance between her jugs fits my penis like OJ’s glove: perfectly

  18. havoc

    I like the hip bones. You can pound them in the front or hold onto them from behind.

    That’s handy!


  19. VanGogh

    Anybody that says this girl isn’t hot or does not excude sexuality are f*gs including the writer of the litle blurb about something about oatmeal…ARE YOU KIDDING ME

    Take a look at everyone of her bikini pictures…the girl has a muff to die for. Look at how PHAT that thing is….It’s unreal!

  20. Racer X

    Give that Slore a cheeseburger.


  21. Fat Chicks Suck

    This girl is pretty damn hot.

  22. Sport

    Someone get her a few fucking Cheeseburgers. Eww.

  23. lee

    @ 20, Van Gogh-he’s talking about Lauren Conrad who has the sexuality of oatmeal. So, you know, maybe read these things through before you make an ass of yourself.

  24. my comment

    She looks like a goose.

  25. steve

    Putting yesterday’s story together with this one, it seems that women want us to see this girl as unattractively thin and Khloe Kardashian as healthy and attractive.


  26. Jones

    #14–she has eyes?!

  27. Ardgelina

    omg ne one that thinks she is 2 skinny is stupid or obese
    she has a great body, i totally agree that girls can never be 2 skinny! The skinnier the better!!! Unhealthy people (aka hippos) try to make perfect sized girls feel “too skinny” but that term doesn’t exists! Guys that like beast like women (aka football players) are the true gay ones….

  28. Camel

    If she looks like a goose, then I am off to the zoo right now to fuck some goose face. Later folks!

  29. she should write a book on keeping in shape! she doesnt look plump or emaciated and I can hold her waist with my palm!

  30. blugardenia

    I prefer her clothed, thank you very much.

  31. Deacon Jones



  32. mazdalover

    okay so if you look like a rat on crack, this is the perfect “it” for you
    audrina looks just that
    sorry if you dont feel this way guys, but you must be a loser and a player if you want to fall for this piece of shit

  33. Jay

    I’d settle for a girl with a little cellulite than looking at those “breasts”! Her surgeon did either an awful job, or she has lost too much weight. Maybe a little of both?

  34. desi

    she has done something to her face.

    go to and see the recent pics of her

    i can’t figure out what she did, but she looks different (better IMO).

  35. Harry Brown

    # 14. agreed. she looks “slow”

  36. brie

    I love her hip bones!

  37. God her breast implants look like shit.

  38. NotBlonde

    Her body would be perfect if not for those hideous implants she has. They look to literally be pulling away from each other, it’s gross. If I were a lesbian and she were a lesbian, I’d have sex with her just to stare at them and try to figure out just what the hell the surgeon was thinking when he jammed two cantaloupes into her chest and pressed them as far apart as he could. Yuck.

  39. Valkyrie


    I like her body. Love the hipbones and she has great legs and arms. hate the tan.

  40. emmaleigh

    b!tches talking sh!t are jealous, and d!cks talking sh!t are depressed they can’t get a girl that hot. she doesn’t look too skinny at all, she looks just right. not everyone wants to be fat, and unhealthy.and i bet she does eat cheeseburgers, just not four at a time with double the patty and double the cheese like the fatties who rip on her for being thin.

  41. Naddy

    at #5 and #28 You peiople need to shoot yourselves in the head UNHEALTHY people can also be those that stick their fingers down their throat to vomit all of the food they fucking eat just to be SKINNY (aka Healthy right? ohhh yesss I love the smell of yak breath in the morning OoOooO so healthy) and those people that dont eat at all causing their hair and teeth to fall out (yaaa soooo healthyyyy) You people are two of the biggest IDIOTS in this world.

  42. Rodolfo

    Except for her fake tits and long hair, she looks like a teenage boy from a concentration camp

  43. Nina

    She has ‘spaced-out junkie eyes’ but her biggest flaw has got to be her smile. Her chiclet teeth look disturbing with her nonexistent top lip.

  44. Brady

    Uhm, they’re dressed in sweaters and boots…….but she’s shopping for a bikini? Where there no other photo-op options? Oh… wait… nvm!

  45. soff

    Nasty fake tits. Flat ass. I don’t know why people say her body is great. I don’t see it.

  46. Simply Amazed

    I’m not sure if the Superficial writer is gay or smoking copious amounts of crack. He says that Audrina Patridge has the sex appeal of oatmeal, while telling everyone that rhino-hips Kim Kar-fatass-ian is hot all day long. Something wrong there.

  47. Kahlee

    some people just do have hip bones that stick out like that, I do and I’m curvy in the butt area too and certainly not unhealthy. Has anyone EVER thought that maybe its possible for both skinny girls AND curvier (not fat) girls to look sexy? I think this girl has a great body just like I think Kim K has a great body.

  48. Get thee to the gym

    Bitch has no muscle tone.

  49. Chuck

    Amen #49

    I bet her Vajeen hang like sleeve of wizard.


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