Audrina Patridge tries on bikinis

Audrina Patridge tried on bikinis yesterday while her Hills co-star Lauren Conrad sat and watched which, I’m guessing, was tantamount to torture for two reasons: 1. Lauren probably can’t pour her coffee in the morning without getting slapped silly by Audrina’s insane breast gap. 2. It’s never fun to be reminded that when you wear a bikini, you exude the raw sexuality of oatmeal. No, really, I’ve been more aroused by the Quaker Oats guy. (For the record: I drunkenly confused him for a MILF. Thank God Mrs. Buttersworth was there…)