Audrina Patridge in a Bikini

Audrina Patridge celebrated her 25th birthday in Vegas over the weekend and the wonk-tits are really starting to freak me out. Seriously, what the hell is that? When I stare into a woman’s breasts, the last thing I want to see is Skeletor’s face looking back at me. No matter how many times I yell “By the power of Greyskull!” whenever I get an erection. (Childhood habit.)

Photos: Getty, WireImage