Audrina Patridge in a bikini

March 2nd, 2010 // 108 Comments

As some of you know I turned 30 on Sunday, so last night I decided to mark the occasion by turning myself into a walking projectile vomit machine who announced to an entire bar “I think this jukebox gave me AIDS.” True story.

On that note, I’m taking my first sick day in years to recuperate, but my fine sober partners below will be more than happy to satiate your wanton thirst for gossip.

The Superficial will return to its regularly scheduled programming tomorrow where hopefully I’ll write better jokes than whatever the hell happened in that OJ post.

See you in the morning!

Photos: FHM

  1. hb

    another white chick with fake breast! skinny, ironing board flat ass & fake tits! what makes this sexy, only in AMERICA

  2. robin

    #44 is obviously new to this site.

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  4. Wow what a boobs i love to suck those

  5. Fat Racist Redneck Bastard

    30?? fuck me you’re old ~ Happy belated birthday anyway

  6. I think she looks great.
    She has no ass to speak of, but she’s thin without looking sick, so I’m just nitpicking. She seems to have gotten her upper lip and wonky tits fixed. It might be just photoshop, but whatever, she still looks smoking hot.
    Best part about these pictures is that you don’t have to hear her speak.

  7. does anyone know how old audrina is?

  8. Fati87

    Oh you are just being lazy…

  9. I like Audrina pic’s better but they are both beautful young woman and they don’t need to be pitted against each other their is enough room to go around, better them than Heidi

  10. jboi67

    wowwww she look hotttttttttt

  11. waw,,, what figure she have, i think she has allured figure, and i love her figure, i want to see her in nude pic. she is able to attract any kind of man easily, and looked her eyes, her eyes is naturally brown, and i want to go deeply in her eyes,

  12. yadig

    She is so fucking fine, I don’t care if she’s dumb as a block of wood. She’s sweet and sexy and probably gives mean blowjobs.

  13. Gando

    The traditional Californian outfit looks great on her!

  14. saywha?

    lol her body is fake & her face is average. i could see why she got rejected by playboy. lol even chyna got in playboy and this stupid bitch couldn’t :-D

  15. Boogeyman King Dong

    Ima just looking 4 sum cameltoe.Where dat cameltoe?!

  16. Cellphone

    She’d look pretty fit and bangable to me.

  17. Yula

    I find it funny they have edited her eyes, she does not look this attractive in real life.

  18. She is simply beyond gorgeous, kind of makes you sad she isn’t really that hot :(

  19. Schlong

    happy birthday for last sunday

    i just want you to know, you’ve filled my life with meaning

  20. terri

    she has a nice body shame about the big teeth and awful eyes basically an ugly face.

  21. captain america

    her physical part is still of tremendous help with “Helping Myself”, folks!!

  22. NG

    These would be good pics if someone cropped the head out of the shot. Too bad the photographer wasn’t up to do a good job and got her ugly melon into the pictures.

    She should look at Heidi and try some plastic surgery. If nothing else to amuse us around here. Go for it.

  23. Stu Gavin

    I don’t really understand the criticism about her eyes or teeth since they are what make her look uniquely sexy, it is her boobs that are messed up from her worrying too much about having giant tits as though she thinks it is the most important body part that turns you into an automatic A Lister. What exactly have these giant tits gained for her so far?

  24. ohhh my god that really sexy

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  25. fsefhoiu

    Have you seen her sexy photos on She is really hot with Bikini. And I wonder who is the overweight man besides her. They look very happy and lovely.

  26. ileana

    mr. superfish, you are always taking goddamn vacations. and your posts have gottten SO MUCH LESS FUNNY that i rarely even check your shit out. so i’m glad you are now old and feel like you can celebrate and take more time off, bc honestly, what else do you do? Except get increasingly LAME AND UNFUNNY.

    Try harder.

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  29. wow, what a slut… i see my juice all over her ass

  30. Zero

    No ass

  31. Marko

    Hot pics, yes. Real girl, no. Even with the fake lips, tits and other things I don’t think that she’d look half as good without the photoshopping. I’d never recognize her on the street.

  32. Fake Tits Fan

    I think all chicks should get fake tits. Seriously…all normal tits over 30 are like deflated water balloons.

  33. Ramona

    Happy Birthday!!

  34. Tony

    I like how they specifically picked shots that ‘hid’ the cavernous gap between her tits…

  35. She looks pretty hot in a bikini but with those fake tits looks really stupid naked. I’ve seen photos of her without her top on, and… man I wish she’d kept her smaller real breasts. They looked so much better when she was naked. See for yourself

  36. G&T

    No w I understand where Heidi got the urge to get all that plastic surgery from…

  37. Kay

    Come on she looks nothing like this in real life, no where near that flawless, why do mags have to be so fake, especially when its obvious they are just average looking in real life.

  38. What is she looking at? “I’m over here!” (snap, snap)

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  40. Audrina looks amazing, great choice of suits.

  41. Ashley

    She looks nothing like this in real like. She looks so fake, nothing natural… why is that something to be proud of these days? :S

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  43. Mr. Nice Guy

    We sure like the way she looks in these Pictures. We like the fact that she does everything she can to look good.

  44. Julie

    She looks good in these. Everyone knows that photo shoots are edited to improve things, but still, the pictures are nice to look at. Even if it’s not “real,” fantasies are what sell. That’s what makes Hollywood so big.

  45. also

    Besides which, how many of you girls don’t wear makeup or get highlights, or use some sort of artificial shit to improve your appearance… shut up about “fakeness” already. You know it looks good and you probably depend on it to some degree.

  46. Hiiiiiii. Beautiful. i really like your bikini pics, and you looking gorgeous in bikini, you looking so hot in bikini, I have lost all of your Figure,

  47. good pics, isn’t it?

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