Audrina Patridge in a bikini

November 11th, 2008 // 89 Comments

With the winter months approaching, bikini posts are sadly few and far between. So, naturally, I jumped at these photos of Audrina Patridge filming an episode of The Hills today. Sure, I could probably drive a Mack truck (or two side-by-side) between her breasts, but I’ll take what the good Lord gives me:

Bless you, O’ Father, for this chestiful bounty which thou hast bestowed upon us. We gaze upon Audrina’s cleavage and, where some may find shitass plastic surgery causing weeping and gnashing of teeth, we faithfully find a token of your love that ensures our days be not destitute nor bikini-less. Amen.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. Audrina who???? Hills what??? What is this? She looks like my fucking cleaning lady..

  2. s’all good baby

  3. anthony

    what a disgusting set of tits.

  4. BigJim

    She’s a squirter.

  5. there’s nothing good about this girl, except maybe her left forearm..

  6. edamame

    Tara Reid, Jr.

  7. uh huh

    How much did those cost?

  8. @2, You have a cleaning lady??

  9. Randal

    Audrina, you’re one of my favorite on The Hills, after Heidi of course. Your smile illuminates even the darkest shadows that this world has to offer and your voice is a soothing wind chime on a warm breeze.

    Randal

  10. Obama Biden

    Oooooooo.. dem white wimminnnzzz is finnneee.

    Come taste my chocolate sausage!

    Bix Nood!

  11. Jimbo, doesn’t everyone??

  12. At least one.

  13. haroof

    Nasty tit job.

  14. ummm...yeah

    Randal, someone needs to kick your ass.
    Dam I wish it could be me!!!

  15. My cleaning lady keeps dipping into my stash. Gotta let her go..

  16. I will come clean your house Foxie..

  17. @4dude are you gay she as nice pair of tits.p.s motor boatsssssssssss

  18. Billo

    She has old lady boobs.

  19. K, Jimbo, I don’t care if you steal my stash, just never touch my gin..

  20. Hmmm....

    I think that her fake boobs look pretty saggy….. should have gone with a board certified plastic surgeon

  21. Narstyness

    Imagine how nasty and insignificant this bitch would be without the fake boobs.

  22. Narstyness

    My bad, she is insignificant…

  23. kiwi_guy

    What are you guys on – this girl is FINE! That is one incredible body – personally I’m not big into implants but they look pretty good to me. By the way – if my cleaning lady looked like that I’d be buying a swimming pool to get her in a swimsuit!

  24. #23 yeah…I was gonna say..

  25. ha ha… I met this bitch a few week back at a club and nailed her. Funny thing is, she asked me to hit that shit in her ass. Who knew she would like it like that. she wailed like a siren.

  26. SEriously?!

    This girl only looks good in pictures.
    On video… there is something severely wrong with her.

  27. SATAN

    i wanna just tease that little bean of hers til she’s quivering like a naked eskimo

  28. everyone

    Dearest Randal,

    We wouldn’t piss on your face if your teeth were on fire. Stop posting pathetic drivel we will never read. You’re a fucking creep; go get yourself shot.

    Sincerely,
    Paris Hilton, Audrina Patridge, Heidi Montag, Kim Kardashian, and all the other vapid cunts whose vaginas are too cavernous for your tiny penis anyway

  29. 1moreidiotintheworld

    I dunno…. If I had to choose between her and Amy Winehorse…..

  30. grhhrt

    She is hot and sexy. She even uploaded her private sexy photos and videos at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^. She has a personal account there. She drives lots of guys crazy.

  31. Ted from LA

    Her tits remind me of Mini Mouse. They’re both fucking Goofy. If you look closely, it looks like she is getting titty fucked. If you look closer yet, you’ll see that nobody is on her, and therefore, she has a permanent penis engraved in her “chest.”

  32. bignosejew1

    Where is her upper-lip? How come no one ever comments on that?

  33. shit mc gee

    aw ew.. those are not real. give me a break!

  34. pancakes18

    What is wrong with her boobs? Why are they so far apart and so far down?!?! Sick.

  35. pancakes18

    What is wrong with her boobs? Why are they so far apart and so far down?!?! Sick.

  36. Pete Carroll

    ohhhh man the things i would do

  37. joe the gynecologist

    izzat camel toe???

  38. Tammy

    @33 You make a valid point. Where the hell is her upper lip!?

    & I’d also like to add, for the record, I’m a bisexual woman so you can’t pull the “you’re gay” card on me… and I think her tits are fucking disgusting. They’re saggy and nasty and you could use them as a cup holder… for like, the world’s biggest cup.

  39. Tash

    Everyone is being so mean to her. I think she is fantastic, I love the show and think the girls on it have the best lives.
    Everyone just pays her out because they are jealous.

  40. bobby

    I found an Audrina look alike on adultsonlylist.com! for real!

  41. goofball

    Aside from the poorly placed fake boobs, she looks amazing. Look at that stomach, cute legs, and beautiful smile. She’s lovely! She would have been just fine with small little real boobs.

  42. arroyo

    She really need to get her sex tape out there, it’s time.

    I mean, what’s left?

  43. Paul Leeze

    Good legs? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? The bitch has horrible cankles. Look at every picture from the knees down. [Shivers]

  44. Paul Leeze

    Good legs? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? The bitch has horrible cankles. Look at every picture from the knees down. [Shivers]

  45. fred quimby

    tara reid with dark hair

  46. erica

    She’s got a bad case of long-torso-no-legs, which is always accompanied with cankles.

  47. I’m sure, folks: THOSE TITS ARE GOING DOWN!!

  48. car

    it is nice that your cleaning lady! I present?
    stupid!

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