Audrina Patridge in a bikini

August 18th, 2008 // 81 Comments

Audrina Patridge needs to remind Heidi that the only good Hills star is a bikini-clad Hills star. Well, except for Lauren Conrad whose chest could literally put a man to sleep.


  1. that guy

    WOW – never first

  2. Mike

    Would suck her tits dry. Then rehydrate her with douche. After then suck her clit dry of the douche. Would love to drink this girl’s douche water.

  3. It’s motorboat time, bitches.

    I’d like to chili-dog her.

  4. sensitive guy

    FINALLY – someone worth seeing in a bikini – THAT’s a hot girl. Thanks for the curves…

  5. rough daddy

    no complains here,,,other than id like to smell that blonde girl’s shoulders.

  6. Rosie O'Donnell

    Hey Mike (#2)… even I think you went too far there…

    I’m not saying I wouldn’t do that.. I’m just saying.. chill out man…

  7. Why isn’t she wearing the pearl necklace I gave her?

  8. nancy pelosi

    Beaver teeth and fake funbags

  9. Candy

    Props to her plastic surgeon. Nice cans!

  10. Health Dept.

    All those drunks in the pool – and you know not a single one is getting out to pee.

  11. farthammer

    Why is she sitting atop a yeti?

  12. JPRichardson

    Nothing special except for her fake boobs and cute smile. But that’s enough for me. Can we have sex now?

  13. Blammy

    Definitely way hot.

  14. Where the black people at today Superficial?


    I think she should be sitting beaver to face while on her shoulders. Too many dikes around these days.

  16. kevtha

    those sunglasses do a good job at hiding her wonky eyez!

  17. Randal

    Nice to meet you Audrina. We’ve never met before. Name’s Randal, how are you?

    Love the glasses! Are they by Alexander Mcqueen by chance?

    Keep smiling beautiful!


  18. turn that around into a Batista bomb

  19. Barbie

    Oooooh #2 You should consider a career as a romance novelist or maybe a poet.
    You have a level of taste and sophistication that is startling in its originality. I am guessing your sex life consists of a lot of fantasy…or should I say only fantasy? You fantasizing that somewhere on Earth there is a woman depraved enough and hideous enough to consider sex with you, but of course that never materializes so you stick to your writing and your fantasizing and little by little insure that every person who reads something you wrote loses their desire to have sex for an hour or a day or even a month because that’s what you specialize in…making sex sound like an activity for deranged psychopaths and you #2, you do that better than anyone.

  20. rosanne barr

    15 pounds tooooo fat

  21. literarycritic

    @#19: You are hilarious.

  22. it's me Fuckers!

    I would love to be the blond chick. I’d be facing the other way though.

  23. cheery pie

    geez! what a fckin fox … lover to def. chk her out here with yung hottie Kira P


    …and suddenly my pee-pee maker comes to life…

  25. Maximus

    Wow. More please.

  26. woodhorse

    In keeping with the one-sided posts, here’s to you Fish:

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me….’
    How do you fix a woman’s watch?
    You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
    at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
    – ——————————————————–
    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
    It’s called a Wedding Cake.
    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
    Women will never be equal to men
    until they can walk down the street with a bald head
    and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

  27. thank you

    Trashy and fake, but she still looks pretty good, which is weird. I love seeing an absence of fat, so I give her props for that, fat is nasty except in nice shapely boobies. Too bad she has rock hard fake ones. Oh well.

    Fish this does makes up for standing up for Veingy and Brad. You done good, now please don’t ever stand up for those turds again. This is where we trash celebrities, even if they are purdy YOU MUST TRASH THEM.

  28. r

    She is soooooo fat. Lose some lbs, fatty.

  29. Clem

    That pool is ghetto soup.

    And one magnificent set of chesticles.

  30. Deva

    I love this woman. And that other chick she’s sitting on is so lucky to have Audrinas’ beautiful camel toe on the back of her neck.

    I would go down on her for a month. With no sleep.

  31. LOL

    She looks alot better when you cant see her wonky eye.

    Lets hope she signs on to endorse Rayban or something

  32. lawrence

    So hot!! Guys~~~you should be aware of that more models and beautiful women are now looks for love and relationship at

  33. Groucho

    Damn, that’s a crowded pool.

  34. Alex

    Why is every time I read the comments on here I feel like a ton of people desperately attempt to emulate the author’s writing style in their responses? Just for the record, please, please, please stop, the majority of you aren’t witty or even remotely well-written and in your (fall-on-your-face) failures this only becomes blatant.

    #19, on top of being painfully unfunny your aim may be slightly off as I’m sure he was being dead serious and there wasn’t a tongue planted firmly in his cheek.

  35. devilsrain

    10. you are so right. Especially in hottubs. My cousin pisses himself constantly. back to this chick. Yea so shes thin and has an average face with eyes that look like theyre always looking up. Freaky! Pass

  36. Imagine all these people are peeing in that pool.

  37. ldsqtbea

    she has cankles … eww


    did she drop her brain in that pool. Girl is dumb. I do not care how good her body is, she should just drop dead for being that STUPID.

  39. visit my blog to see what i think about the HILLS girls


  40. Scotty

    I’m 82 years old, and THAT puts a tilt in my kilt!

  41. Scotty

    I’m 82 years old, and THAT puts a tilt in my kilt!

  42. The Regulator

    Bucky Beaver! Great body, hideous face. She always looks mentally disabled.

  43. Binky

    Look out for that Reuben Kincaid hun.
    I always thought he seemed a bit ‘shifty’ – if you know what I’m saying.

  44. eric

    When she hits 30, she’ll be begging for work.

  45. ....

    GAP REFUND!!!!

  46. Barbie

    #35 I am guessing you are #2 and Mike is your online trucker persona. Because there is a big difference between tongue-in-cheek and downright disgusting. One is witty and one is just disgusting.

    By the way, people who use “a ton” as a descriptive phrase really should not criticize other people’s writing.

  47. ortal

    She has a GREAT body! You can see she works out.. And so do I! Though I’m hotter..

  48. P-Mat

    What is that blonde thing coming out of her vagina?

  49. Bobby Davro

    She looks like Eva Angelina in the feature photo. Only filthier.

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