Audrina Patridge poses for the October issue of Maxim, and I’m kind of disappointed they downplayed the gigantic gap between her trademark wonk-tits. However, I’m even more disappointed that these shots led to me getting in bed with a wedding cake. Especially after that streusel broke my heart the last time. Why didn’t you call?!
EDIT: To everyone saying these are better than Heidi’s Playboy shoot, DITTO.
Photos: Maxim




































Hot and gross.
first
first
I still can’t get past her lazy eye…
I would literally rather fuck a mongoose, but that being said, these are WAAAY better than that cunt Heidi’s bullshit playboy shoot. and I mean WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better.
Not quite as boring as Playboy.
Wedding cake=Instant soft off.
I want to play with her cans.
Do some people actually pay money for a copy of Maxim?
this one I would probably do..at least once
Forget about the gap breasts her eyes are messed up….
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/2008/12/22/the-strange-eyes-of-audrina-patridge/
I mean of course I’m doing her and the rest of the females on the hills but she’s not perfect and therefore no better than me.
She’s perfect.
I don’t care what you say… i would bang the dumb out of that chick.
She has cankles!
i’d bang the lazy out of that eye.
Second rate face. Next.
@12 – That’s too much work for one man. I will take the back, you get the front – we’ll meet in the middle.
Born without an upper lip and a personality she remains an inspiration to the thousands that aspire celebrity without talent. Her unquestionable devotion to display her fake tits is a true gift. Her day will come soon. She will make a fine porn star and her journey will be complete.
The photography is second rate.
Is there anyone that has not been in the magazine? Jesus, the Progressive lady will probably be in it next month. Fucking weak.
bad boob jobs are bad
Is there anyone that has not been in this magazine? Jesus, the Progressive lady will probably be in it next month. Fucking weak.
I could see myself holding her head as it bobbed up and down on my knob. Appears she’d be a bit of a drooler.
@19 – I would plow the progressive lady before this pile of wonk tits. Progressive lady is nasty hot.
What is all this chatter about the progressive lady? She has the most annoying voice on television EVER! I have to turn the channel. You guys are deaf and dumb.
let’s give it up for ceiling eyes, she’s smoking hot here.
She might be nice if it wasn’t for the fact you could drive a semi-truck between her tits
Progressive lady is HOT SAUCE!
’nuff said
Her eyes look so dead in the eigth pic. It’s kinda creepy, like she has no soul or something. Very disturbing.
That is the hottest eff me shoes ive seen since clear heels in pic 3…and the lay outs aint bad either…
OMG! I just saw number 10. Dead zombie eyes are attacking us all!
@24 – Why can’t women understand how the “I would” game works? Men don’t factor things in like her annoying voice or how blessed dumb some chick is when thinking about plowing it.
if men only hit stuff that wasn’t annoying only their dog would be getting laid.
OMG! I just saw number 10. Dead zombie eyes are attacking us all!
Why in 99% of the pictures I see of this chick, she is not looking at the camera, but above it?!? It’s like the photographer is holding up a squeaky toy to get her attention but she can’t stop staring at it!! Look at the lens dammit…especially if your going to be on the cover of a magazine! Why wouldn’t anyone tell her about this?
nice hair but dunno, she doesn’t do it for me
25. Love it. I think they lowered the camera so its as if shes staring almost at eye level. Almost
@ 24. That is a sexist statement! Progressive lady is weird and unfunny, just like you McBeef!
“15. Eva – September 9, 2009 4:16 PM
Second rate face. Next.”
Yea- I’m sure you’re a real ‘catch’.
Maybe similiar to that of the man eating catfish I saw on the Discovery Channel over the weekend- but with more whiskers? Shut the fuck up.
i cant get past them huge teeth and lazy eye and she has all that money why couldnt she get a better boob job
All these attention seeking whoes should just stop wasting their f$#king time and release a sex tape already, then it can be decided what talents lie where. Talents???….bah poor choice of words….-> NEXT!
Nice Rack !
Smoking hot! Anyone who thinks otherwise is a deluded fool who has no appreciation for beauty in the female form. I would: do her, sleep with her, bring her home to mom…
I’d hump her til she threw up the cake.
bitch is dead behind the eyes..
CEILING EYES
shes got no ass
they airbrushed the shit out of her top lip, which in real life, is about as thin as mary kate on coke.
I did her.
Last
Ladies, please do NOT get fake boobs. They just make you look silly. That point is made clear by this bubblehead. Or should I say bubblechest.
This cunt radiates absolutely no heat.
Maxim, FHM, Stuff and all those other bullshit magazines cater to the lowest common denominator.
p.s.
I LOVE KIDS!!!