Audrina Patridge poses for the October issue of Maxim, and I’m kind of disappointed they downplayed the gigantic gap between her trademark wonk-tits. However, I’m even more disappointed that these shots led to me getting in bed with a wedding cake. Especially after that streusel broke my heart the last time. Why didn’t you call?!
EDIT: To everyone saying these are better than Heidi’s Playboy shoot, DITTO.
 |
Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
 Why Was This Celebrity Booed Off This Hit TV Show? – Fox News | |
| 50 Most Scandalous Cheerleaders in Sports History – Bleacher Report | |
| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Adam Levine Signs 'Glee' Guy to New Label, Poses For Terry Richardson (PHOTOS) |
Relationship Expert on Halle Berry's Reported Move: It's About Being Selfless, Not Selfish (PHOTOS) |
Camila Alves Flashes Engagement Ring, Talks Wedding Plans (PHOTOS) |
'Madly in Love' Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Hang Tight in Los Angeles |
Lady Gaga's Tattooed 'Born This Way' Costar Reveals 'Top Secret' Project with Singer |
Lindsay Lohan's Platinum Blonde Locks: Yay or Nay? (PHOTOS) |
Meugh | September 9, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Hot and gross.
john | September 9, 2009 at 3:46 pm
first
john | September 9, 2009 at 3:46 pm
first
Scott | September 9, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I still can’t get past her lazy eye…
chupacabra | September 9, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I would literally rather fuck a mongoose, but that being said, these are WAAAY better than that cunt Heidi’s bullshit playboy shoot. and I mean WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better.
Max Planck | September 9, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Not quite as boring as Playboy.
Wedding cake=Instant soft off.
Polk | September 9, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I want to play with her cans.
Rodham | September 9, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Do some people actually pay money for a copy of Maxim?
Dan Montana | September 9, 2009 at 4:05 pm
this one I would probably do..at least once
Fumus | September 9, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Forget about the gap breasts her eyes are messed up….
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/2008/12/22/the-strange-eyes-of-audrina-patridge/
I mean of course I’m doing her and the rest of the females on the hills but she’s not perfect and therefore no better than me.
Mountain Balls | September 9, 2009 at 4:05 pm
She’s perfect.
High Quality POV Porn | September 9, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I don’t care what you say… i would bang the dumb out of that chick.
Blondie | September 9, 2009 at 4:12 pm
She has cankles!
freeside | September 9, 2009 at 4:13 pm
i’d bang the lazy out of that eye.
Eva | September 9, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Second rate face. Next.
Richard McBeef | September 9, 2009 at 4:23 pm
@12 – That’s too much work for one man. I will take the back, you get the front – we’ll meet in the middle.
dude_on | September 9, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Born without an upper lip and a personality she remains an inspiration to the thousands that aspire celebrity without talent. Her unquestionable devotion to display her fake tits is a true gift. Her day will come soon. She will make a fine porn star and her journey will be complete.
Mastermind1948 | September 9, 2009 at 4:28 pm
The photography is second rate.
Yawn | September 9, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Is there anyone that has not been in the magazine? Jesus, the Progressive lady will probably be in it next month. Fucking weak.
http://www.popduds.com/ | September 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm
bad boob jobs are bad
Yawn | September 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Is there anyone that has not been in this magazine? Jesus, the Progressive lady will probably be in it next month. Fucking weak.
Oliver Chester The Molester Lester | September 9, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I could see myself holding her head as it bobbed up and down on my knob. Appears she’d be a bit of a drooler.
Richard McBeef | September 9, 2009 at 4:32 pm
@19 – I would plow the progressive lady before this pile of wonk tits. Progressive lady is nasty hot.
KIKI | September 9, 2009 at 4:39 pm
What is all this chatter about the progressive lady? She has the most annoying voice on television EVER! I have to turn the channel. You guys are deaf and dumb.
lilycat | September 9, 2009 at 4:39 pm
let’s give it up for ceiling eyes, she’s smoking hot here.
Come-Honor-Face | September 9, 2009 at 4:48 pm
She might be nice if it wasn’t for the fact you could drive a semi-truck between her tits
_me | September 9, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Progressive lady is HOT SAUCE!
’nuff said
lovelyriot | September 9, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Her eyes look so dead in the eigth pic. It’s kinda creepy, like she has no soul or something. Very disturbing.
ROUGH daddy | September 9, 2009 at 4:57 pm
That is the hottest eff me shoes ive seen since clear heels in pic 3…and the lay outs aint bad either…
lovelyriot | September 9, 2009 at 4:58 pm
OMG! I just saw number 10. Dead zombie eyes are attacking us all!
Richard McBeef | September 9, 2009 at 4:59 pm
@24 – Why can’t women understand how the “I would” game works? Men don’t factor things in like her annoying voice or how blessed dumb some chick is when thinking about plowing it.
if men only hit stuff that wasn’t annoying only their dog would be getting laid.
lovelyriot | September 9, 2009 at 5:00 pm
OMG! I just saw number 10. Dead zombie eyes are attacking us all!
Amber | September 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Why in 99% of the pictures I see of this chick, she is not looking at the camera, but above it?!? It’s like the photographer is holding up a squeaky toy to get her attention but she can’t stop staring at it!! Look at the lens dammit…especially if your going to be on the cover of a magazine! Why wouldn’t anyone tell her about this?
cherry | September 9, 2009 at 5:14 pm
nice hair but dunno, she doesn’t do it for me
devilsrain | September 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm
25. Love it. I think they lowered the camera so its as if shes staring almost at eye level. Almost
Gonzo | September 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm
@ 24. That is a sexist statement! Progressive lady is weird and unfunny, just like you McBeef!
SamIAm | September 9, 2009 at 5:20 pm
“15. Eva – September 9, 2009 4:16 PM
Second rate face. Next.”
Yea- I’m sure you’re a real ‘catch’.
Maybe similiar to that of the man eating catfish I saw on the Discovery Channel over the weekend- but with more whiskers? Shut the fuck up.
terri | September 9, 2009 at 5:20 pm
i cant get past them huge teeth and lazy eye and she has all that money why couldnt she get a better boob job
AssMaester | September 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm
All these attention seeking whoes should just stop wasting their f$#king time and release a sex tape already, then it can be decided what talents lie where. Talents???….bah poor choice of words….-> NEXT!
Hank The Angry Dwarf | September 9, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Nice Rack !
Courageous | September 9, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Smoking hot! Anyone who thinks otherwise is a deluded fool who has no appreciation for beauty in the female form. I would: do her, sleep with her, bring her home to mom…
Tanzarian | September 9, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I’d hump her til she threw up the cake.
slinkie | September 9, 2009 at 6:01 pm
bitch is dead behind the eyes..
maryJane | September 9, 2009 at 6:10 pm
CEILING EYES
bobby_da_Perv | September 9, 2009 at 6:13 pm
shes got no ass
haha | September 9, 2009 at 6:27 pm
they airbrushed the shit out of her top lip, which in real life, is about as thin as mary kate on coke.
Justin Bobby | September 9, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I did her.
Erich Anderer | September 9, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Last
Average Joe | September 9, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Ladies, please do NOT get fake boobs. They just make you look silly. That point is made clear by this bubblehead. Or should I say bubblechest.
HITLER | September 9, 2009 at 7:03 pm
This cunt radiates absolutely no heat.
Maxim, FHM, Stuff and all those other bullshit magazines cater to the lowest common denominator.
p.s.
I LOVE KIDS!!!