Audrina Patridge in a bikini forces me to acknowledge her existence

May 16th, 2008 // 130 Comments

It’s a documented fact that I want the entire cast of The Hills to get West Nile Virus in the face. That said, when one of them, in this case Audrina Patridge, slaps on a bikini I’m compelled by my dedication to science to post the above pics. Here she is on the set of her first film Into the Blue 2: Now With More Bikini!. After the film’s smashing straight to video success, you can look forward to seeing her next movie Jugsalonia: Starring Audrina, That Other Chick from The Hills with Fake Tits. Yeah, With the Wonk-Eye. God, I love cinema.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. viv

    first?
    and her boobs are huge

  2. Jackson

    Now there’s a hot chick that does not need to cover her butt when wearing a swim suit unlike Kim Kardaskank!

  3. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    Oh sweet Jeebus….CAMEL TOE!!! Thank you thank you thank you!

    ps: you owe me $40, because the picture made my penis burst through my jeans. In the middle of a business meeting. Awkward.

  4. Ted Mosby

    It appears she doesn’t possess beef curtain. Only LC does.

  5. Rockwell

    FRIST! FRIST! FRIST!

    god i would blast the shit out of that

  6. Kingsley Amis

    One of the finest examples of camel toe in recent posts. First time I’ve found it necessary to say it: Thank you, Fish. You are now leagues ahead of the Geekologie writer.

  7. FACE

    This skank has nothing on Kardashian – but I would introduce her to some seriously long hard vicious black snake in a minute.

  8. Kingsley Amis

    Not a single damned hair below the eyebrows. Terribly thoughtful gal.

  9. Sheva

    Man she has a nice figure and it doesn’t look like she’s shaving down there.
    But those are not real boobs I don’t think.

    She didn’t even need to do that. Very plowable.

  10. jesse

    You can see her pussy lips more clearly than the lips on her mouth. White girls are so funny looking.

  11. michy

    wow a lot of horny readers here…

  12. Seth

    Thin lips, visible bones, flat ass, waist wider than hips, bolt-on tits, spray-on tan. Yep, that’s the white-boy ideal. Just look at the comments.

  13. Dude

    #12

    You are definitely into fat chicks dude! Her implants look bad though.

  14. me

    you can see the camel

  15. sharpeidude

    Oh yes, she WILL be mine. She WILL be naked. She WILL worship at my feet and swear total allegiance to me…………ZOD!!!!!

  16. Chupacabra

    she’s okay, in a demi-moore sorta, “needs-a-lip-injection” way…

    not impressed with the ‘toe, though.

  17. ScottDevil

    Well, at least when I look at her I don’t fly into a murderous rage like I do when I see that Heidi slut and that tool she’s dating or ass fucking or whatever.

    Doesn’t change the fact that I would do things to Audrina that would make Larry Flynt blush and I’d still like to take a tire iron to Spencer Pratt’s skull.

  18. Vince Lombardi

    Man hands. Not like Don Hutson’s hands. But more manly than O.J. Simpson’s.

  19. Pat

    Not to be crude, but, uh, camel toe!

  20. MightyD

    #12 Yeah! Big lips, big bones, big ass, a trailer truck waist, huge saggy tits and a natural chocolate coating is sure to beat that CAMEL TOE!!…uh, NOT!

    (Shit! I just yelled that out loud in the office)

    CCCAAMEL TOE!!

    On the other hand… that Jada Fire gal makes me wanna down all kinds of coco goodies

  21. Tapeworm

    Nice broad mom face at age 20. That’s already gotta be a problem. Nice toe though. Also never been a fan of fake tits that are so obvious.

  22. Vince Lombardi

    I don’t remember this one… was she Shirley’s niece? Or a niece of the never-discussed presumed-dead Mr. Partridge. Or perhaps the love-child of Shirley and Reuben Kincaid?

  23. poonmoon

    Mmmmm silicone. She’s hawt, but her retard eyes make it hard for me to take her seriously. Watch her on the Hills for five seconds and you’ll immediately see the retard eyes and then you’ll barf out your organs, because well that’s what happens when you watch the Hills unless you’re a latte drinking skank with the speaking skills of a brain damaged 4 year old. Why did I watch the Hills? I wanted to see what all the fuss is about, sadly I still don’t know, I guess stupid people find other stupid people really interesting.

  24. Ovy

    Body isn’t bad but she has no tits. She has big lumpy implants but no tits or else she wouldn’t have got the big lumpy implants.

  25. Vic Vega

    Here legs are dorky, she has implants, the face of the “speical kid” in school and her ass is mannish. But I’ll tell ya what she’s NO VEGAN and SHE HAS NO CELLULITE.

  26. those are the nastiest set of titis ive seen in a while…

  27. nipolian

    OK don’t get me wrong…….I can’t stand any of these bitches……but for those of you criticizing this girl’s looks………you should all exchange e-mails and get together for a lovely circle jerk this weekend. Oh yeah….and thanks for the CT Fish.

  28. Prude

    Oh my, you can see her vag right through he bikini bottom. Does she have no shame.

  29. Danielle

    Ahhhhh, yet another example of the faketastic world of white whores. It’s no wonder you people don’t melt in the sun with 99.9% of your bodies being made up of plastic and spooge.

  30. Boy, Heidi wasn’t kidding when she said other people on the show had surgery. Hellooooooo fake boobs.

  31. LL

    BIG SAGGY IMPLANTS, MUCH??
    God, those boobs are nasty.

  32. IKE

    Why can’t more girls do this. We know ya got one down there. FLAUNT IT!!! :)

  33. Gits

    There’s nothing natural-looking about her at all, except maybe the vacant stare. I don’t get it. Go to any beach where college-age girls are (or go to a Spring Break place) and there are plenty of naturally hot girls. I guess they go to Hollywood and some aging queen tells them they have to get everything “done” and then out comes…this. I’m pretty sure I can go running after work on the local jogging path and see 20-somethings with better natural bodies.

  34. hot mess

    IKE @ 33 – we can’t do this because most girls’ pussies don’t part like the red sea when we’re just standing there…that’s some loose ass vajayjay.

  35. Hemlock Queen

    Her boobs are fake and disgusting. She looks like another clone from LA. Boring!

    I spot Toe!

    Now when are we gonna see some hot ass dudes on here? Us ladies (and men) need our jollies rocked as well.

  36. she has a horse face.

  37. IKE

    @Hot Mess, I don’t believe that. Most girls say, “Ewwww, that’s gross” when there a camel out and about on the loose. OR make a comment like #29. :)

  38. Randal

    It’s a good thing she has soft ample breasts (are they real?) to take the eye away from her facial features and let me not forget those manly looking fingers.

    Hopefully this isn’t the last post of the day. It wouldn’t be fun having this image in our heads on a Friday evening.

    Barf.

    Randal

  39. HOE HOE CAMEL TOOOOE!

  40. Auntie Kryst

    This is good casting. Her vacant stare, hopping up and down, jiggly tits, and hand clapping lend a certain je ne sais quoi to the film no??

  41. havoc

    Almost as hot as Kim.

    Almost.

    .

  42. hot mess

    @38 – IKE, no it’s true! there is almost no way a girl can show poon cleavage like that unless she just got laid or has a really loose jay. i mean maybe a little hint of one, but those bottoms don’t even look that tight!

    and let’s think this through…what would happen if all the girls started flaunting clear and visible presence of snatch? y’all would loose your freaking mindz :D

  43. Quavis

    There’s a little camel toe action in the first picture.

  44. pinky_nip

    @40… get back to work Jaan, and quit staring at camel toes…haha…

    Guess Who?

  45. izzo

    sweet ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. TetterkeT

    Is this bitch literally not able to close her mouth completely?

  47. jennifer

    hot mess – do you know anything about female anatomy? are you a female? having big lips has nothing to do with being ‘loose’. it’s like having big feet or large breasts, you are born with them. well, some of us are, anyway. also, shaving will enhance the cleavage, if you are bare down there, your swimsuit tends to stick to you and outline things. it’s sad when women disseminate mistruths to disparage other women.

  48. Christopher

    She’s kind of like a moderately attractive clone of Tara Reid…

  49. Those are new boobies if I’ve ever seen ‘em…

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