I’m not sure why Audrina Partridge is famous. People tell me she’s on The Hills so I assume she must be really good at talking on her cell phone. Well, today she gets to be filler. It’s a real honor, I know. Bask in it, Audrina. Oh, I almost forgot a trademark witty comment to make this experience complete. Here we go, so, hey, your last name is Partridge. Did you enjoy riding on the bus with David Cassidy? Ha, get it? Audrina Partridge. Partridge Family. They rode that bus. No? Nothing? Damn. Sorry, Audrina. Could you maybe acquire a drug problem or neglect your kids? You know, something hilarious.
EDIT: Turns out her last name is actually Patridge, not Partridge. Wow, she’s even more useless than I thought. I’m leaving her name misspelled in the post though, because, well, she’s Audrina Partridge. I could’ve spelled it “Pancake” for all anybody cares.