Ashton Kutcher wins Twitter War

Seen here on the set of his new movie Five Killers, Ashton Kutcher has officially won the Twitter race to acquire 1 million asshats. He beat out CNN and Britney Spears who were in first and second place respectively at the start of the contest. People reports:

For the past few days, he’d been locked in a race with CNN’s breaking news feed — (@cnnbrk), but just before midnight Thursday he became the first “Twitter millionaire.” Around 1:30 he tweeted, “Victory is ours!!!!!!!!” and posted a twitpic of the win.
Kutcher says he’s donating 10,000 mosquito nets to the medical charity Malaria No More to celebrate, and the video-game publisher Electronic Arts says the millionth follower will become a character in “The Sims.” Plus, there’s the promised ding-dong-ditch of Ted Turner’s Atlanta home to look forward to!

While the fact that more people follow Ashton Kutcher’s twatting than actual events in the real world should make me want to retreat to a bomb shelter, all I have to say is “Fuck yeah, job security!” In the meantime, sincere condolences to civilization. Good game.

Photos: Splash News