Ashton Kutcher wants, no, needs you to love him

May 10th, 2009 // 37 Comments

Because that would suggest intelligence, Ashton Kutcher apparently doesn’t get it when he’s being Punk’d himself, according to Page Six: co-founder Jonah Peretti recently posted an audio clip in which he pretended to be an overzealous fan upset when Kutcher, an avid Twitterer, didn’t respond to a Twitter message from Peretti. But when Kutcher heard the audio, he took it seriously, and even called to apologize. In the two-minute voicemail, Kutcher said, “I want to ask for your forgiveness because I don’t like having ill will.”

Dear Ashton Kutcher,

I’m offended by your continual breathing of oxygen. Please remedy this ill will post haste.


The Superficial Writer

P.S. There’s also a lot of ill will about your wife not sitting naked on my desk. Just throwing that out there.

Photos: Getty

  1. co

    since when is he so desperate?

  2. guy

    That just seems really nice, actually.

    Generally I love how snarky the Superficial is, but if you’re going to make fun of celebrities when they’re dicks who treat regular people like shit, then maybe give them a break when they’re doing the exact opposite.

    Just sayin.

  3. mikeock

    What a flaming, immature dolt.

  4. ishi-san

    I agree with # 2! Thats really kind of nice actually

  5. Guy

    So he does a nice thing and we are meant to ridicule him for it. Yeah…

  6. haha Punked punk!

  7. Megan

    I agree with #2, too. I’m all for making fun of celebrities when they’re acting like assholes, but this sounds like he was just being a nice guy. Kudos to Ashton.

  8. lola

    That was very nice of him

  9. rachael

    love her dress

  10. Sarah

    seems like an alright move to me, as well.

  11. g_girl

    wow, Demi is superhot

  12. vee

    i like that he did that. huh.

  13. vee

    i like that he did that. huh.

  14. Darth

    I’m surprised that he doesn’t hire people to twitter for him.

  15. Meh

    I’m surprised that he takes time off of boning his smoking wife.

  16. J.B.

    What the hell is up with that massive bow tie?

  17. Galtacticus

    Since when does the Superficial writer consider Demi Moore smoking hot? Who’s writing today?

  18. Why the hell would you want that withered old chicken sitting naked on your desk?

  19. SoTe

    He is a douche. He never answers one unless they are talking marvelous things about him hahaha. I’m really disappointed because I believed in what he was doing when he wanted to beat CNN with the whole 1mill followers, he wanted to show that this type of media (twitter) can be handled by us, we are the ones making the news and getting the news faster than CNN, the information is no longer controlled by them but it us ours. But since he got the 1mill followers he has done SHIT! about it, he doesn’t twitter as often (neither does Demi) like they got what they wanted and forgot about twitter. Lame.

  20. Jennyjenjen

    Uhh, so 19 are you trying to say that Ashton was starting some kind of information revolution? Because I think he was just engaging in a ego boosting contest. His point about CNN having less followers than he was absurd because most CNN viewers don’t fall into the same category as the idiots who twitter. CNN is a more adult news source and twitter is some fad that will be eventually replaced with a new lame ass fad. His little contest had no actual merit except in his own deluded mind. Look for an information revolution elsewhere, Ashton is not your guru.

  21. SoTe

    I wasn’t looking for a revolution 20. His explanation of what he was trying to accomplish was in fact oriented to making a statement, to letting plp know that information was no longer on the hands of the media like CNN. That was all the fuzz about it, if the race was indeed an ego boost he could’ve raced Britney Spears who was also near the 1mill followers.
    Don’t underestimate the power of a tool such as Twitter.

  22. Jennyjenjen

    The fact of the matter is Twitter was actually designed with CNN in mind, in order to receive news feeds instantly. But sadly, it has turned into a forum where douchenozzle Ashton can talk about how hot his “wifey” is. I’m not underestimating the power of a tool such as Twiiter, I’m properly estimating the tools who use Twitter.

  23. SoTe

    Oh yeah, I’m with u on that one Jenny. He is a tool and there are tons of tools, but the thing is, u can choose whether or not u want to follow that tool, it is ur choice to receive or not updates from the tons of idiots that are out there; but u cannot choose who gives u the news on CNN or whatever channel u watch. Sure, u can turn off the TV but u end up without news.
    I receive news feeds from interesting stuff all the time on twitter, and if Ashton talking about wifey bothers me I can unfollow, that is the beauty of twitter.

  24. StEvec

    he’s an immature douchebag……oh yeah, and a bad actor as well….could even say he’s a failure I guess ….. he’ll probably be the next host of america’s funniest animals or something challenging for him like that

  25. Jennyjenjen

    I agree we are sadly lacking in good news sources here.

  26. robert

    Sounds like he was just being nice.

  27. Danklin

    Wow fish, you’re kind of an asshole for this. He was actually doing something pretty nice. Yeah he didnt realize he was being punk’d but thats the whole point of it, is it not? I do have to say that his bow tie is fucking massive though.

  28. be sure: THE “WEASELS” ARE STILL ALIVE & KICKING, folks!!

  29. I don’t think he’s going to stop until he’s pretty much become the internet.

  30. Kim

    Yeah, I agree with 2. That was kind of nice.

  31. Karri

    aww I can’t laugh at that. it’s too nice of him. :)

  32. I would imagine screwing Demi Moore is akin to jerking off with sand paper.

  33. He is sometimes full of it but he actually did a nice thing.

  34. whomever

    I think it was sweet of him. Also I think he’s adorable, in that really endearing never-really-grew-up kind of way.

  35. The fact of the matter Twitter built on CNN actually had in mind, in order to receive news feeds immediately. But sadly, this is a forum where Ashton douchenozzle warm his “wifey” How can talk about what has changed. I twiiter not underestimating the power of such a device is, i right tools to assess who’ve been using Twitter.

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