Ashton Kutcher wants, no, needs you to love him

Because that would suggest intelligence, Ashton Kutcher apparently doesn’t get it when he’s being Punk’d himself, according to Page Six: co-founder Jonah Peretti recently posted an audio clip in which he pretended to be an overzealous fan upset when Kutcher, an avid Twitterer, didn’t respond to a Twitter message from Peretti. But when Kutcher heard the audio, he took it seriously, and even called to apologize. In the two-minute voicemail, Kutcher said, “I want to ask for your forgiveness because I don’t like having ill will.”

Dear Ashton Kutcher,

I’m offended by your continual breathing of oxygen. Please remedy this ill will post haste.


The Superficial Writer

P.S. There’s also a lot of ill will about your wife not sitting naked on my desk. Just throwing that out there.

Photos: Getty