Ashton Kutcher has challenged CNN to see who can be the first to reach 1 million Twitter followers. The news network currently sits at 937,000+ followers with DoucheNozzle McGillicudy slowly gaining at 888,000+. The AP reports:
The 31-year-old actor recently threw down the gauntlet, challenging CNN and its founder, Ted Turner. In a Web video posted earlier this week, Kutcher said he would ding-dong-ditch Turner’s house if he beat CNN to 1 million. (For those unfamiliar with the classic adolescent prank, ding-dong-ditch is when you ring someone’s doorbell and run away.)
“I find it astonishing that one person can actually have as big of a voice online as what an entire media company can on Twitter,” Kutcher said in a video he posted on qik.com. “I just thought that was kind of an amazing comment on the state of our media.”
Before everybody starts freaking out at the shockingly evident decay of society as a whole, I should point out that Ashton is still in 3rd place for reaching 1 million Twittees. BEHIND BRITNEY SPEARS. Okay, now start freaking out. Who’s up for some looting?
bonzo420 | April 15, 2009 at 4:03 pm
um its ring and run you fuckin ding dongs
lame!
420
first!
Jeezy | April 15, 2009 at 4:03 pm
What a fucking tool. There are actually almost a million people interested in this stupid fuck’s life?
ashton= | April 15, 2009 at 4:03 pm
DOUCE
claire | April 15, 2009 at 4:11 pm
If I ever created a Twitter account, it would just say “Look at me.” every 3 hours. The only people who Twitter are self-righteous whores.
Daughter | April 15, 2009 at 4:13 pm
This is just retarded.
Alex | April 15, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I wouldn’t even take pause if that douche nozzle were to jump in front of a bus. He’s so hip. What a fucking cock. Man I hate him. No talent, not funny and certainly peaked with Dude Where’s My Car.
And I like following @FeliciaDay on twitter. Felicia = awesome.
mcfeely smackup | April 15, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Ding Dong Ditch?
wow, we had a slightly more catchy, and MUCH more racist name for it when I was a kid. In retrospect, it was all kinds of wrong.
GuyHolly | April 15, 2009 at 4:32 pm
@5 Duh– we are talking Ashton. He’s the poster boy for the shortbus brigade.
Em | April 15, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Super douche.
Objection sustained | April 15, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Hey Claire
That came off a little self-righteous :)
NJGIRL | April 15, 2009 at 4:57 pm
@7 LOL… Is it nigga-knock?!?!?!?!?!?!
Dakota | April 15, 2009 at 5:02 pm
It’s not fair and I’ll tell you why; CNN isn’t Twittering pictures of Demi Moore’s ass
Mike | April 15, 2009 at 5:33 pm
To think it lets Demi Moore stick its dick in it.
Rhialto | April 15, 2009 at 5:41 pm
What’s this Twitter all about? I’m gonna check it.
amoi_b | April 15, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I am astonished and amazed by his command of the English language.
Rough Daddy | April 15, 2009 at 6:02 pm
This twittering thing past me by,,,boy is he annoying, why doesnt he challenge Fox?
Emilio Estevez | April 15, 2009 at 6:09 pm
I bet if he posts a photo of Demi’s cameltoe he can beat CNN.
justifiable | April 15, 2009 at 6:47 pm
He and John Mayer were just made for each other.
Tanzarian | April 15, 2009 at 6:51 pm
State of our media? What a fuckin’ retard, it’s a comment on the state of our society, i.e. people like him who would rather live vicariously through a douchenozzle than pay attention to news.
It’s also fairly obvious that anyone interested in the news is not trying to get it through ineffective means like Twitter. Only people who use Twitter think Twitter is relevant.
His Huge Greatness Himself | April 15, 2009 at 6:52 pm
What has Twitter to do with young guys in relationship with older women?
mikeock | April 15, 2009 at 6:56 pm
He’s more self-important than John Mayer, and that’s hard to do. What a douche.
Nero | April 15, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Does Jennifer Aniston have a Twitter account?
timmy the dying boy | April 15, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Fuck this. Twitter is strictly for idiots anyway.
twatter | April 15, 2009 at 7:07 pm
@ TODDERS
LMAO thats actually happned to me before!
Huckleberry Hashimoto | April 15, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Some guy named McGillicudy just called, and wants you to stop associating his name with this guy.
Huckleberry Hashimoto | April 15, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Some guy named DoucheNozzle called too, and also wants you to stop associating his name with this guy.
norton | April 15, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Kutcher is a douche who bangs old ladies.
Twitter is for twinks.
‘Nuff said.
RichPort's Ghost | April 15, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Old RichPort’s Ghost’s right hand is digging these AK pics!!!!
Fap fap fap fap fap……
Oh come on, don’t judge me. I can’t even look at women without turning red in the face & pissing my pants. I gotta get laid, you fucks!
Shitney Still SUX | April 15, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Gross, he looks like he got cheek implants.
Applause-O-Meter | April 15, 2009 at 9:56 pm
#28 Testing, testing…”fap” sound…hmmm, no. “right hand” reference….uhh, nope. Implication that RichPort is a horny SOB who can’t get laid….overused imitation of the Fish writer’s favorite schtick, so deduct 10 points for plagarism, 50 for repetition. Result — nope, not even the slightest bit funny, just a sad duplicate of the 3,974.776 entries you’ve posted as RichPort’s Ghost this past year . Who, you might have noticed at this point if you had a brain, doesn’ t post after 5 PM EST.
See, let me explain something so clearly even you get it, so I don’t have to get called back in here – if we know it’s you, and not the real RichPort, your post comes off as tired and pathetic (which it does even when you post during that time, too). Normally we might have some sympathy for you, you poor obsessed no-name fuckwit, if you made us laugh just once. As it is, hang it up, flush yourself and spare me. I’m busy enough dealing with those fuckers on YouTube and I Can Haz Cheesburger, don’t make me call your mom on you. You know what happened the last time and it wasn’t pretty. I didn’t think a keyboard could be jammed that far up anyone’s ass, but you learn something new every day.
And I notice you still can’t stop sniffing your finger after you give the BackSpace key a workout.
Applause-O-Meter | April 15, 2009 at 10:04 pm
#28 Testing, testing…”fap” sound…hmmm, no. “right hand” reference….uhh, nope. Implication that RichPort is a horny SOB who can’t get laid….overused imitation of the Fish writer’s favorite schtick, so deduct 10 points for plagarism, 50 for repetition. Result — nope, not even the slightest bit funny, just a sad duplicate of the 94,776 entries you’ve posted as RichPort’s Ghost this past year . Who, you might have noticed at this point if you had a brain, doesn’ t post after 5 PM.
See, let me explain something so clearly even you get it, so I don’t have to get called back in here – if we know it’s you, and not the real RichPort, your post comes off as tired and pathetic (which it does even when you post during that time, too). Normally we might have some sympathy for you, you poor obsessed no-name fuckwit, if you made us laugh just once. As it is, hang it up, flush yourself and spare me. I’m busy enough dealing with those fuckers on YouTube and I Can Haz Cheesburger, don’t make me call your mom. You know what happened the last time and it wasn’t pretty. I didn’t think a keyboard could be jammed that far up anyone’s ass, but you learn something new every day.
And I notice you still can’t stop sniffing your finger after you give the BackSpace key a workout.
chris | April 15, 2009 at 11:30 pm
This is wonderful news!
If Ashton Kutcher becomes the first person to reach 1,000,000 subscribers it will prove my long thought hypothesis that Twitter is gay!
gerard Vandenberg | April 15, 2009 at 11:47 pm
When you stick together long enough with demi noore or less.
……………..THE WHISKER IS A MUST, folks!!
Huckleberry Hashimoto | April 16, 2009 at 12:22 am
#17. Why would anybody want to look at that?
gloobygloob | April 16, 2009 at 2:57 am
I got a twitter account and followed CNN just to spite this idiot.
Fred | April 16, 2009 at 3:43 am
I think that CNN will lose this fight just like they have lost their audience to Fox News.
Narcissist | April 16, 2009 at 5:19 am
Ashton Kutcher Still Alive, Twittering.
What was Ashtons last significant accomplishment, anyway?
Can’t imagine anyone being fascinating enough that I would want constant updates all day. I don’t even care that much about what I’m doing. I just check in with myself once a week or so to make sure I’m still around.
Geez, at least CNN has news or something doesn’t it? Not just old lady butts slobbing around the house in bikinis?
mikeock | April 16, 2009 at 6:53 am
new day, still a douche.
Slipl0c0 | April 16, 2009 at 7:05 am
what can i say .. i added him like a month ago and hes the only one im following .. would be nice if he replied to tweets or queefs or whatever the fuck they are.
still love ya kutch! lol
RichPort's Ghost | April 16, 2009 at 8:35 am
#30 – Thanks for that! It’s true, I’m a lefty. By the way, how do you feel about aquatic mammals? They kinda piss me off. Well that and possums.
Lucy | April 16, 2009 at 9:22 am
that’s one ugly ass picture of Kutcher…but then again, I never saw anything in him to begin with.
Applause-O-Meter | April 16, 2009 at 9:41 am
#40 Not even Disney could do a goddamn thing with possums but I find aquatic mammals kind of cute, and I otter know. See that? I made a joke, and in my line of work we burn out, quick so enjoy it. The only good thing about that fucktard at #28 is that he’s never registered once with me, but my cousin, Attention-Whore-O-Meter, died from exhaustion last week and he’s to blame.
raven | April 16, 2009 at 9:56 am
twittering twats.
grobpilot | April 16, 2009 at 11:26 am
What the fuck is it with everyone wearing knit caps as fashion accessories? Do they really believe it makes them look fashionable? Looks to me like someone ready to pull it down over his face and rob a 7-11. Just another goddamn brainless trend-follower. But they still have the arrogance to try and tell us how to vote and how to live. Fuck ‘em all.
jamie foxx (not really) | April 16, 2009 at 11:37 am
I thought Ding Dong Ditch was called Nigger Knock.
twinkie | April 16, 2009 at 1:50 pm
LMAO… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
DoucheNozzle McGillicudy
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
joy | April 16, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Ashton’s appeal must be wearing a little thin by now. Right Demi? Nothing like an infantile husband who laughs his ass off at his own farts under the covers
Charley Kane | April 17, 2009 at 4:48 am
“I just thought that was kind of an amazing comment on the state of our media.”
It says something alright, it says the world is being overrun by people who are more concerned with the exploits of a mother fixated, emotionally stunted hunk and his mate, than they are in the war and the economy. Mike Judge’s Idiocracy, people, we are living it.
JACQ | April 17, 2009 at 10:00 am
Er, it says more about the people rather than ‘the state of our media’.
poop | April 20, 2009 at 8:22 am
CNN SUCKS AND AC IS A RUMP RANGER.