Ashton Kutcher’s new show Pop Fiction has “celebrities” pulling pranks on the media. Paris Hilton pretended to be spiritual with a monk and Avril Lavigne wore a fake belly. However tabloid editors aren’t buying it and see right through the shenanigans of this assclownius supremus. Here’s some quotes from NY Daily News:
“There’s nothing these people do that we don’t know about before they get there. We know everything. Ninety percent of their lives are put together by other people. It’s almost like these celebs have LoJack. It’s easy to track them. “
Star mag ran a picture of Paris and her “guru,” but reported that it was a stunt. “We never took it seriously,” Star editor in chief Candace Trunzo tells us. “After a while, you learn what smells.” Kutcher’s crusade for truth won’t affect Star’s coverage of Kutcher and his wife, Demi Moore, Trunzo says. “He’s only semi-interesting,” she says. “He doesn’t sell a lot of mags.”
“It’s a typical conceited celebrity,” says a mag insider. “Live a life, man. Grow up. Go act. If a celeb has a full week, then they have way too much time on their hands.”
“Go act.” Ashton Kutcher – acting! LMFAO! That’s goddamn hilarious. Seriously, how do you follow that? My hat’s off to you, sir. *dead rabbit falls out* Captain Wigglenose?
huh | March 25, 2008 at 3:00 pm
chicka chicka ya!!
huh | March 25, 2008 at 3:00 pm
chicka chicka ya!!
huh | March 25, 2008 at 3:00 pm
chicka chicka ya!!
DemiHasApenis | March 25, 2008 at 3:04 pm
He trully is the Bando of our times
bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
unicornzrawk | March 25, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Nice Shorts!
ph7 | March 25, 2008 at 3:06 pm
#1,#2, #3:
Tripling stupidity is not an achievement.
Zee Brat | March 25, 2008 at 3:06 pm
He can do whatever he wants as long as he keeps walking around topless.
Cowgirl likey | March 25, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Ditto that 7. I have some lotion here….(to keep him from burning of course!)
Fashion Sheriff Cowgirrrl | March 25, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Wait–is he wearing my pink shorts though?
Jimbo | March 25, 2008 at 3:16 pm
@8 Cowgirl, I thought you like the big muscular type, not the bony 12 year old boy look?
Auntie Kryst | March 25, 2008 at 3:17 pm
@4 The Bando of our times? No way, Sal was one of the A’s best. Ashton is simply a douchefucker.
Mike | March 25, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Why do American men have to dress like 3-year olds at the beach? Someone like Ashton Kutcher has the body to wear a Speedo. Grow up, people.
Josh | March 25, 2008 at 3:21 pm
He stands like a homosexual….seriously, doesn’t he look like a homo?
LOL | March 25, 2008 at 3:21 pm
who the fuck is the new superficial writer, jesus christ he/it is terrible
btw kutcher is punking you moron faggots, 3 weeks back nothng but shots of paris with that long haired weirdo on e! with PARIS GETS SPIRITUAL TAGS
no mention or acknowledgement of stunt
LOL | March 25, 2008 at 3:22 pm
who the fuck is the new superficial writer, jesus christ he/it is terrible
btw kutcher is punking you moron faggots, 3 weeks back nothng but shots of paris with that long haired weirdo on e! with PARIS GETS SPIRITUAL TAGS
no mention or acknowledgement of stunt
sportsdvl | March 25, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Most of these posts are written so poorly I am starting to think Ashton is writing them all after getting excited realizing someone actually still considers him a celebrity.
Captain-Insano | March 25, 2008 at 3:26 pm
#7: Topless? I know he’s like a woman but “without a shirt” is techinically how you describe a man without a shirt.
Uncle Eccoli | March 25, 2008 at 3:30 pm
“We know everything.”
FRIST!!! | March 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm
#14 what do you mean “no mention”? Where the hell have YOU been??
The Laughing God | March 25, 2008 at 3:41 pm
@9 That is how Demi likes it
Eigh Knuss | March 25, 2008 at 3:47 pm
“Ninety percent of their lives are put together by other people.”
That’s the key line.
Why quibble, though? The Paris stunt worked, but then the word went out and MommyFucker won’t be able to put one over as easily. His problem is that he can pull off believable stuff, which basically amounts to disinformation, but not over-the-top stuff, which would be entertaining. For example: Britney has dinner with Mel Gibson. If she did for real, what’s the big deal? If she didn’t, and it was a set-up, what kind of joke is that? Britney has dinner with Justin Timberlake, and at the end they kiss: that’s a stunt worth trying to pull off. Or he could even pretend it was dinner at KFC and put his dick in a (greasy) box.
Auntie Kryst | March 25, 2008 at 3:48 pm
*sniff sniff* Anyone else smell eurotrash or maybe french canadian bacon? I think it’s coming from somewhere in-between comments 11 and 13.
cocquetish cowgirl | March 25, 2008 at 3:49 pm
You’re right number 10, Ashton is a little too fem for my tastes (probably). I don’t know about guys in women’s clothing unless they’re TT. Hehe!
giblets | March 25, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Ashton can’t wear a speedo, not if there’s any possibility that Rumer might be there wearing her hot pink g-string bikini. It’s a nonnegotiable demand made by his balls, which don’t want to run back into his body cavity.
RENEE | March 25, 2008 at 3:52 pm
He’s so hairless, it appears that he shaves his vagina too
Jan Edith | March 25, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Where is his wedding ring?
EuroNeckPain | March 25, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Auntie Kryst actually likes these large ugly pink shorts ? I agree with Mike, this guy would look much better with a normal bathing suit. (BTW, picture#1, the man in the background: ugliest shorts ever; crotch at mid-thighs, makes calves look all scrawny, ewww).
Hey Mike, their bathing shorts are not the only problem (like their dicks were so big they cannot wear a normal bathing suit, riiight), but their UNDERWEAR is something too ! They still have the white cotton kind that opens in front, the “kangaroo” model, like our grandpas in the fifties !!! HA !!!
casey | March 25, 2008 at 4:22 pm
“” says a mag insider. “Live a life, man. Grow up. “”
Ah ha ha. Someone from STAR magazine is saying that? BACK AT YA.
Randal | March 25, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Poor Ashton. He’s not doing much with himself and neither is his beautiful wife Demi.
At least he’ll always have That 70′s Show, which he’s a classic character in but nothing more.
Ho-hum on this one.
Randal
Auntie Kryst | March 25, 2008 at 5:21 pm
@27 Actually I do think his swim trunks look ok. It’s simple here. If you’re on a swim team, wear speedos. Otherwise wear trunks. If you’re a fat fucker from Montreal or Paris wearing a banana hammock on Miami Beach, cover your junk Pierre.
Trover | March 25, 2008 at 6:15 pm
It cracks me up that the losers at some celeb rag are dissing on Kutcher for making fun of them! Telling Kuch to get a life? Oh the irony. Cracks me up how clueless celeb stalkers are about themselves. I don’t even care for the guy, but at least Kutcher has had a hit show, done some movies, some modeling, etc. What have any of the talentless hacks at Star, Us, People, etc done other than follow around Hollywood types?! They seriously all need to die painful deaths. On live TV.
Ashton and Demi's Marriage | March 25, 2008 at 6:22 pm
People still thinks that’s Pop Fiction.
Dan | March 25, 2008 at 6:38 pm
producers don’t have to act bruh. don’t worry bout how me makes his money. grow up.
BunnyButt | March 25, 2008 at 7:14 pm
13, he stands like a pregnant woman … which, when a guy is doing it, translates into standing like a homo. So, yes, I guess you’re right. Regardless, Asston’s extreme lack of body hair makes me feel slightly queasy. I like men to look like they’ve passed puberty. Seriously, is the whole hairless guy thing still trendy? Just asking since I work in higher ed (meaning not in the real world) where men just aren’t aware of such things …
BlueBlur | March 25, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Ashton is wearing those shorts because he is on a photoshoot with co-star Margarita Levieva on the Los Angeles set of their new romantic comedy, Spread.
Bush | March 25, 2008 at 9:22 pm
She is so lovely and large sexy.I saw her many times in millonaire dating site “W e a l t h y L o v i n g .c o m “.What kind of relation she want in this site?Dose she really fall in bad ill?
Min | March 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm
#14, agreed. I think there’s a new writer and it’s just not as funny.
EuroNeckPain | March 26, 2008 at 2:33 am
@30 Auntie Kryst, if I understand well, Americans agree with Arabs that a speedo-type bathing suit is too revealing, and that men should be covered from hips to knees with large shorts ?!??
The last time an Algerian said that, it felt really weird, but he was a strict muslim, so it was not too surprising. The last thing I expected was to hear a regular American say the same thing !!!
So you guys hate “banana hammocks” (a name like this says it all), but you all celebrate “grapefruit hammocks”, huh ? Does this make any sense ? At least, strict muslims ban both !
damn straight | March 26, 2008 at 7:53 am
they are absolutely right. when i saw the thing about paris, i just rolled my eyes and forgot about it. she’s not interesting to me. same goes for avril lavigne who can’t even sell concert tickets. Ashton and Demi, absolutely boring. she’s a has been from the 80s and he’s just a boy. no one gives a crap about these people. seriously dude go play with your grandmother demi and go away already.
woodhorse | March 26, 2008 at 8:29 am
@38 don’t try to make a double standard out of that. There are plenty of better ones out there. It has to do with the tolerance level of society and it has to do with how bad a man wants to get laid. If men go around looking like Will Ferrell in Anchorman, most people are going to go “Ewwwww”.
gierggn | March 26, 2008 at 9:22 am
All the celebrity mags and gossip websites should fess up they didn’t know shit. They were all fooled they thought the stuff was real. The Paris Hilton guru show? Sure, no one believed Paris was becoming spiritual but everyone at best only thought she was trying to get attention. When doesn’t she do something for attention? No one knew it was a prank. Fess up and tell the truth which is you all bought into whatever the prank was. Stop trying to spin the story like a politician would. Part of spin is to discredit the person in this case it would be the celeb in the prank or Ashton. Amazing isn’t it?
grunion | March 26, 2008 at 11:31 am
#22 I’m not going to stand here and let you bad mouth bacon. French Canadians ? fine. Just leave bacon alone.
Linda | March 26, 2008 at 12:02 pm
I will be glad when shorter shorts come back in style for men. He is hot!
Auntie Kryst | March 26, 2008 at 12:39 pm
@38 New slang term for me. What are grapefruit hammocks? Women’s bikini tops? Those are fucking awesome.
Auntie Kryst | March 26, 2008 at 12:42 pm
@42 Sorry Grunion, I was out of slurs. I like Canadian bacon. I just don’t know any derogatory terms for the Quebecois.
janie118 | March 26, 2008 at 12:47 pm
I actually think he´s hotttt
Allie | March 26, 2008 at 2:30 pm
these pictures are from the set of “Spread”. it was being filmed at the hotel i was staying at two days ago.it was pretty sick
Grunion | March 26, 2008 at 4:15 pm
#45 up here in the great white north we usually just call them frogs. or idiots. either or.
Craig | March 27, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I love that someone who writes about star’s lives for a living tells Ashton K. to get a life.
Craig | March 27, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I love that someone who writes about star’s lives for a living tells Ashton K. to get a life.