Ashton Kutcher is kind of a dick

So Ashton Kutcher posted the following tweet yesterday in regards to David Carradine:

Remind me to never asphyxiate myself while masterbating in bangkok. It just confused people.

@Whoever this tweet was aimed at: Ashton just called and said “Nevermind. Please remind me to masturbate in Bangkok and die in the process bringing some small semblance of sense and justice to the world. Which reminds me, make sure that guy from The Superficial has lots of sex with Demi Moore and/or touches her boobs because I’m the real Ashton Kutcher and thus decree these events transpire in perpetuity.”

Thanks to Nick who will verify the validity of this statement. (Don’t be a hero.)

Photo: Getty