So Ashton Kutcher posted the following tweet yesterday in regards to David Carradine:
Remind me to never asphyxiate myself while masterbating in bangkok. It just confused people.
@Whoever this tweet was aimed at: Ashton just called and said “Nevermind. Please remind me to masturbate in Bangkok and die in the process bringing some small semblance of sense and justice to the world. Which reminds me, make sure that guy from The Superficial has lots of sex with Demi Moore and/or touches her boobs because I’m the real Ashton Kutcher and thus decree these events transpire in perpetuity.”
Thanks to Nick who will verify the validity of this statement. (Don’t be a hero.)
Photo: Getty
Leila | June 9, 2009 at 4:24 pm
wow, low blow Ashton
Valerie | June 9, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I don’t think that’s so bad–if said in private I guess.
Valerie | June 9, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Now that I think about it, YEAH what a dick!
toolboy | June 9, 2009 at 4:31 pm
My political views and my masturbation techniques will not be influenced by an ass hat like Ashton. Get the lube out Thailand!!! I got a date with a midget, a closet and 6 ft of rope.
Tad Bit Tipsy | June 9, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Cock Smoker!!!
el ces | June 9, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Could he at least button his jacket? Be somewhat adult?
Sheena | June 9, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Okay, Ash baby! I’ll remind Demi to asphyxiate you while you masturbate. Your choice! Pillow, rope or her ass cheeks?
You tacky immature little dickweed.
Nick | June 9, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Validity Verified. It makes it even funnier that he spelled Masturbation wrong. I gave TS a screencap of the tweet that I’m sure can be put up if anyone doubts.
Nick | June 9, 2009 at 4:50 pm
“R hands R tied by R wallets, R wallets R tied by R fear, & R fear is tied by R greed. give away our freedom or give our way 2 freedom?”
I think Ashton should be forced to take a Twitter Time Out. Trying to read this makes my head hurt. Best source of unintentional comedy ever. Somebody with the IQ of a jar of frosting trying to be wise.
Demi Moore | June 9, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Ashton, honey. Could you pick up the kids today while I get my botox, facelift, and hit the gym this afternoon. Thanks, snookums. Love – Mom. I mean, Demi
havoc | June 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Kind of?
.
netstarman | June 9, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Ashton is a big saggy ball sack that has been gnawed down with a rusty cheese grater.
Me | June 9, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Anyone posting after Me sucks on Asshole Butcher’s empty nutsack
Eat a dick, yo | June 9, 2009 at 5:26 pm
It’s absolutely appalling when a celebrity says something crude, but definately not at all when its some bi-curious gossip quasi-writer (you). I like Ashton more after this comment. He’s fucking hilarious.
claire | June 9, 2009 at 5:32 pm
he spelled ‘masturbating’ wrong
Tanzarian | June 9, 2009 at 5:53 pm
“Kind of a dick”?
First, this isn’t news, second, it’s inaccurate.
“Ashton Kutcher is still a dick.”
titsonsnack | June 9, 2009 at 5:53 pm
So has he started banging Demi’s daughters yet? Like I’m not even joking. And why does Demi still go by her ex-husband’s last name?
STL Hawkeye | June 9, 2009 at 6:01 pm
A “D” rated star cracks on a guy who in his career has done more than Asshton will ever think of doing. No talent and no class. Demi, you picked a winner.
ahha | June 9, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Remind me to never asphyxiate myself while masterbating in bangkok. It just confused people.
Yes, indeed. I would love it if you could just asphyxiate yourself while you have your head up your own ass. You are right, no one will be surprised or confused by that.
Wanktastastic | June 9, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Mna, I want to poke him with a stick while he dangles from my closet. That would be hilarious. “Repeat after me! THAT 70′S SHOW SUCKED ASS! Ashton Kutcher sucks and he won’t jizz, piss or shit on the floor. Unless he wants to clean it up with a straw.”
J-Dawg | June 9, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Duh…I’m cute and get acting gigs…I doesnt’ need no grammer. I’s can spell masterbate real good like.
ROUGH daddy for adult only | June 9, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I hope kutcher realize the only people that find him humorous are demi and people who works for em….
David | June 9, 2009 at 6:56 pm
What he said is no worse than the majority of stories posted on this site? Cast the first stone maybe???
hero hhh | June 9, 2009 at 7:10 pm
HAHA, I want to poke him with a stick while he dangles from my closet.
May every Jack ha his Jill. Still Don’t have a date?
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Rhialto | June 9, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Something about David Carradine’s unfortunate death.He always liked to play mysterious characters,didn’t he? In my opinion his own death is in line with that.
Nero | June 9, 2009 at 8:30 pm
There was something mysterious about David Carradine.Where’s Cameron Diaz when you need her?
Mike Oxbhig | June 9, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Hes a tool and always has been, just like anyone that “twitters”. We dont care that youre eating, pissing, shitting, reading NObamas bio, playing with your dog, on the computer, cleansing your dirty ass with a toothbrush, counting license plate numbers, being bulimic, washing your hands for the thousandth time, cleaning your dirty foreskin, douching, stretching the skin on your wifes face, checking for lumps in here saline bags, charging the battery in your hybrid blahblahblahblah etc etc etc. Shut the fuck up Ashton & all “twitter-ers”!
alfalfa | June 9, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Assclown Nutsack should ask Demi for permission before he says or posts anything stupid
Gando | June 9, 2009 at 9:11 pm
His death reminds me on Michael Hutchence dead in 1997.
norton | June 9, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Do you think he’ll apologize for being a fuckwad? Or maybe just twitter “it was very insensitive of me to make fun of Mr. Carradine. I just don’t want people to not love me for the person I am and to appreciate that I’m very in touch with other people’s feelings.”
Or rather should he just tweet “I’m a fucking faggot.” ???
Missy Wu | June 9, 2009 at 9:48 pm
He ought to get it on with that wonky-eyed Melissa Joan Hart. Sorry, no amount of money will ever buy these two class or a conscience. They only know they’re wrong when their PR guys tell them, not by their minds!
The big Z | June 9, 2009 at 11:01 pm
MAS-TUR-BA-TION. There are no masters in it. I think “masturbation” or one of its variants should be part of the spelling bee. I don’t know why people have so much trouble with it.
stu | June 10, 2009 at 12:02 am
how insignificant is this Kutcher POS. bagging on the death of a guy who’s famous for stealing Bruce Lee’s role.
uni | June 10, 2009 at 12:53 am
Demi’s gonna ground him for being mean
Brooke | June 10, 2009 at 12:55 am
Dickwad! GOD I hate him.
Samuel | June 10, 2009 at 4:25 am
Why is it so hard for Americans to spell words correctly?
Charley Kane | June 10, 2009 at 5:52 am
What a callous little turd he is. And he can’t even spell masturbate, what a pinhead.
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gerard vandenberg | June 10, 2009 at 6:34 am
A HAIRY DICK, to be precise!!
RichPort's Ghost | June 10, 2009 at 9:04 am
I bet his bow tie spins. Dicks usually have bowties that spin…
Jorge "No Chin" Posada | June 10, 2009 at 10:47 am
I’m sure Demi hasn’t had an orgasm since she and Bruce broke up.
kjonesin | June 11, 2009 at 4:15 am
Don’t worry, in 30 years ASSton will die dressed in a girl scout uniform and the heir to his narcissitic douche throne will “twatter” some quasi-edgy remark about him. Full circle, karma, what goes around comes around, etc.
Sam Bowman | June 11, 2009 at 9:21 am
I would be masterbating too if I was married to his wife.
Dude Wheres My Car was the only good thing hes ever done and that was kind of lame too. Kill Bill was a classic movie(s)
Jammy | June 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm
“kind of”?!?!?!!?!?
bitingontinfoil | June 13, 2009 at 8:13 pm
You’re just now realizing he’s a dick??
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Wallas | March 3, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Fuck you Ashton Kutcher you piece of fucking shit.