Ashton Kutcher is a woman

August 31st, 2007 // 82 Comments
0831_ashton_kutcher_capris.jpg

Here’s Ashton Kutcher wearing Capri pants and a shirt with a shiny hummingbird on it. Because, you know, Capri pants. And a shiny hummingbird. All further evidence to support my theory that Ashton Kutcher is the toughest man on the planet. I’m just waiting for the paparazzi shots of him buying tampons with Demi Moore. You know Demi doesn’t need them because of a little thing called menopause. And if you don’t know what menopause is, just ask somebody old like Demi. Your grandmother, for example. Don’t worry, eventually she’ll stop sobbing long enough to explain it to you.

Photo: Splash
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  1. Riotboy

    Phirst!

  2. Holyness

    What a man’s man.

  3. He is not a woman. He’s peacocking, standing out from the other guys, and he’s doing a great job at it.

    V

  4. dasf

    Sexy!! lol He’s hot and she’s a milf, its ok.

  5. Alright I’m bored fuck this

  6. havoc

    .

    That needs an intervention……..

    .

  7. Mommy

    Nice pants Frodo Baggins. All he needs are hairy feet.

  8. mz peachez fied shicken

    only some cracka bees dressin’ like dat! all da cracka mens bees faggoty faggots.

  9. jrzmommy

    *SHRIEKS!!!!!*

    GAY-PRI PANTS!

  10. I'm Awesome

    the guy snatched Demi Moore. He could paint his toenails and he’d still be the man…with painted toenails..my point is Demi Moore.

  11. maybe next time he should try a higher temp on the dryer– shants posh!

    what a terd

    fist!!

    ~ 420 ~

  12. Sorry, I’m jealous of him, he is doing Demi Moore…He could be in make-up and wearing a dress and i’d still be envious, becasue he is doing Demi Moore.

  13. bubba lubdubski

    not a surprise. we all know demi is the real man in this relationship.

  14. Dude, where’s your tan? Get some sun.

  15. People with ugly feet should not wear flip-flops.

  16. Texas Tranny

    Fish makes it sound like it’s a bad thing when a guy wears capri pants and a blouse.

    I bet he’s wearing pretty panties too.

  17. Spanky

    no comment other than FAG

  18. Siggy F.

    Fucking your mom doesn’t make you “the man.” Killing your dad does. If Ashton can kill Bruce Willis, ok, he’s the man. More realistically, if he lands even one punch, he becomes a non-wuss. But don’t hold your breath…

  19. He better be wearing SOMETHING under those capris…

    They are linen!

    and wouldn’t they actually be considered clam-diggers? Capris are usually just under the knee.

  20. jrzmommy

    I’m surprised he isn’t wearing those fucking Crocs and carrying a Fag Bag.
    Murph–would these be considered Pedal Pushers?

  21. Texas Tranny

    Murph your are so the fashion expert. You would be correct, clam-diggers not capris. My capris are also have a tighter fit to them.

  22. Jrz…

    Actually…they probably would be. And croc’s would be an improvement. at least then we wouldnt have to suffer through looking at his feet.

  23. Texas Tranny

    And the winner is……………………Jrzymommy.

    From Wiki…
    Pedal pushers are men’s calf-length trousers that were popular during the 1950s. Often cuffed, they are related in style to the Capri pants.

    The name originates from the style being originally worn by cyclists.

  24. lol. TT, I went to school for Fashion. I ended up realizing it is not what I thought it would be, and am currently working on a business degree.

  25. Manpris. To go with his mangina.

    Good morning, Tranny.

  26. Rusty

    Not buying tampons *with* Demi … buying tampons *for* Demi. That will mark the day his penis falls off.

  27. my comment

    He must have left his man purse in his trailer.

  28. Aww come on, he was stranded on a deserted Island adn had to cut the bottoms off to make maxi pads for Demi.

  29. Me

    Come on, Demi doesn’t need tampons any more.

  30. sane-o

    i’m quite surprised to see how many guys think “doing demi moore” is somehow a good thing.
    Guys, she looks like a tragic trannie. Her vagina is atrophied and dry, and causes great pain during sex. She farts, and ashen, gray clouds of sulphur begin to eclipse ambient light.

    Okay, I’m not sure about the farting thing, but the rest is true.

  31. sane-o

    until I saw this pic, I didn’t even know he was gay.

  32. #27-just read your comment form yesterday. Yes, Manhattan is a grid, until you get to the West Village, where I lived in the early 90′s. And even a grid loses it’s inherent order when one is on acid.

  33. my comment

    His capri pants could even qualify as coullottes or even gauchos.

  34. BunnyButt

    Gosh, he’s purty!

    For a little entertainment, here’s a “Celeb Kids Quiz”, with childhood photos of most of our favorite girls. Demi’s is rather scary.

    http://gerport.com/celebQuiz/

  35. BunnyButt

    And TT, what about that pic?

  36. my comment

    32. I guess. But then again I haven’t done acid since the 70s. Glad you made it home alive.

  37. PrettyBaby

    Oh. my. God *shudders* First the hideous hats, now this???!!!

    I truly dislike this chap.

  38. lambman

    Those are not capri pants, they are clam diggers or beach pants. And that style of pants can be completely acceptable in some contexts. I have a khaki colored pair that I wear over my swim suit when we go for beers after the beach.

    I kinda dig the shirt, is that a “Guster” shirt? they had a hummingbird on the cover of their album and I’ve got buddies with shirts that have the same bird.

    also, he’s not only doing Demi Moore and in good shape, but is an awesome step dad…dude’s a man in my book

  39. Anon

    Those are nice MAN-pris

  40. RagingAlcoholic

    He’s wearing man-pris!

  41. woodhorse

    I think it’s sad that someone as young as he is has to wear a strap-on. Damn! those things are unwieldy and cumbersome anyway and you always have to remember the lube.

  42. PatinNj

    He’s a fayeg!

  43. gerard Vandenberg

    After looking at this photo, WEARING TOE-SLIPPERS I’m damn sure he is one:

    A FAGGOT!!

  44. Ashton sports that low-testosterone level beard when off the set so that way he looks older and the age gap between him and Demi is not so apparent. It is pretty clear to me that Demi was the one to propose that idea! I mean, I used to think Ashton was cool because of the whole MILF thing he had going on, but when he said that stupid shit about men being “better then handbags but less then shoes” or whatever that whole “accessory” metaphor was about I realized he’s been turned out by Demi. That’s his karma for creating a show that alludes to the horror of prison rape.

  45. woodhorse

    Jesus those are the wrong pants for someone with no legs. His knees and hips are even with the woman next to him even though he’s much taller. And they make him look Japanese for some reason.

  46. mabbo

    What’s worse is that he has webbed toes, and there he goes showing them off with flip flops. Ewwwwwwww.

  47. ssdd

    I’m so sick of this guy ..when is he going to grow the fuck up~

  48. Lara

    First off, men should not be allowed to wear anything containing the words “flip” and/or “flop”.

    Secondly, I own those flip-flops. I am a woman.

  49. TS

    Still haven’t figured it out yet, huh Bonzo? Go back to ’95.

  50. Italian Stallion

    What’s next? Speedos and a rainbow shirt…………

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