Ashton Moves Out, Demi Hits The Bottle and Trolls For Strange

October 5th, 2011 // 87 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

With the rumor mill cranking hard in shit-sling mode, two separate reports came out today with even stronger implications towards the eventual demise of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore‘s marriage. First up, Us Weekly begins with the ever-reliable “a source” followed by “another source” claiming that Ashton banged not only Sara Leal, but multiple chicks in a hot tub:

But Kutcher liked what he saw when he met party girl Leal and her friend past 4 a.m. in his 1,200-square-foot suite back at the Hard Rock. “Ashton told them he was separated from Demi,” one source says…After some “hard-core” flirting, the Two and a Half Men star was “totally into it,” another source says. “Within five minutes, they were all naked in the hot tub, making out!”

Next, beacon of truth Life&Style basically says that Demi has relapsed into alcoholism and while her family plans an intervention, Ashton moved out and got balls-deep with grief:

A family friend exclusively tells the new issue of Life & Style–on newsstands now–that their relationship had fallen apart weeks before Ashton’s alleged cheating incident–and Ashton has moved out of their home…The reason? According to the friend, Demi has fallen back into dangerous habits and while Ashton has been urging her to get help, he made the decision to move out in early September.

Whew, there’s a lot going on here. On one hand, you’ve got Douchestain McBowtie acting like he’s on Jersey Shore and on the other, you’ve got Demi who is literally wasting away before our eyes having apparently leapt off the wagon like it was on fire. Well, I did a little digging and I think I can understand what’s going on here. The above photoset shows Demi on the set of Magic Mike in early September. There’s no listing of her credited in any way on IMDB, so I can only assume that she (not unlike all of America) was drawn by the astonishing allure of Channing Tatum. I’m no Hardy Boy, but you can’t tell me that this pic alone doesn’t allow you to hear her thoughts clearly. “Don’t do it Demi, I know he’s a street tough with a heart of gold, but you can fight this urge!” I rest my case.

Photo: Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    fandy
    Commented on this photo:

    she has Head Nurse knees…lmFao

  2. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    fandy
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s tryin to Lohan, but she is just Low

  3. taint jam

    worst

    • EmmA3

      I gotta say it was hilarious when she hit the bags. Check out the video at www. C E L E B U R .com I’m not sure if its still up though

      • EmmA3

        yeah, celebfur . com has the best bestiality porn and poo party videos. go there to see lots of filthy poo eating.

  4. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    Her knees look like this after that much-touted plastic surgery ? Yikes.

  5. oh i know

    jesuschrist Fish, “douchestain Mcbowtie” made diet pepsi come out of my nose!! hahahahahaha!!!! too flippin funny!!!!

  6. Dude of Dudes

    Bill Nye the Science Douche

  7. Steelerchick

    Channing Tatum / Ashton Kutcher ??? You do the math.
    Channing Tatum hands down.

  8. Sporange

    “Just call me “Orville Beddenrocker”!

  9. Lydia

    I’m gonna put this out there before all the jackasses come in…THIS ISN’T FUNNY! Cheating on your spouse for whatever reason is fucked up. If you wanna fuck other people..LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP!!! So it proves Kutcher is the true jackass we’ve always known he is. Demi going to the bottle is a normal response when you know shit is dying in a relationship and it sucks. There’s NOTHING funny about two people getting divorced. It’s painful, expensive and tiring for all involved. But it’s probably for the better as it’s clear Kutcher’s career is probably gonna die thanks to doing the new show and Demi’s career has been dying for a while.

    • Jerry Springer

      As they say on Jerry Springer ‘go tell Oprah’.

      Are you this chick? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc

    • eatme

      …career going to die? huh? Buddy gets like 700k per episode, so even if it lasts for only one more season he’s getting more money than any of us will see in our lives. I fucking hate this douche, but now that he’s got his cash cow is the very reason their relationship is over. Ahhh, he’s got his training wheels off now.

    • Alicia

      You realize they had an open marriage, right? It’s not cheating if the consenting adults agree to allow the other to have sex with others. It’s a pretty common arrangement, and open marriages actually have a lesser divorce rate than ones based on exclusivity.

      So, if the reports are to be believed, it the fact he’s not keeping it on the down low. Most open marriages require both parties to exercise discretion when exploring other avenues for sexual gratfication,

      • Yeah, I know from experience. My wife and I had an open marriage. Unfortunately it was a secret that I never let her in on until she caught me. Oh well…

    • Jimbo

      Hey dumb shit…. It said he moved out in September. That would make him single again and they had an open marriage so he was not cheating… What happened to you Lydia? Has every guy you have been with cheated on you?? Maybe the guys you date are not the problem

    • Frank Burns

      “I’m gonna put this out there before all the jackasses come in” – exactly how does that help your point?

    • Yeah, seriously… the jackasses were already here first.

  10. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    emersumbigguns
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks cranky. No wonder he dumped her ass.

  11. Rough rapes your funny bone

    Does he needs to look like a demitasse to be funny on the show?

  12. Al Czervik

    How do you get laid looking like that ? I would think a girl would look for a guy demonstrating at least an ounce of masculinity before he gets to enter the ” Holy of holies”. This guy looks like he failed the entrance exam at Best Buy and not by a narrow margin

  13. Jimbo

    If they wrote this into Two and a Half men it might be funny, Instead they have Walden having a food fight with an 8 year kid. it is time to cancel both of them….

  14. Clarence Beeks

    I do not believe Demi is drinking. She helped Bruce get sober many years ago, and she is way too vain to risk getting bloated and puffy. She would not want to “ruin” her looks.

    • Not wanting to ruin her looks, is like not wanting to start WWII. It’s decades too late to worry about.

      • Clarence Beeks

        that is bullshit. I have stood next her. The woman is beautiful, and looks fabulous. Better than most 20 somethings I see today.

    • Demi, we all know it’s you.

      You don’t look good even for a woman “your age”, no less compared to a 20 year old. Plastic surgery and fake tits is a pitiful substitution for aging gracefully.

    • Swearin

      Could just be Ashton has a better publicist. Seriously, who’s gonna get the better end of this thing, the once-divorced older lady who hasn’t had a hit film in at least 10 years or the young white guy who has millions invested in social media & startup companies and headlining the #1 TV network’s most lucrative show? I hate to say it but money talks, and it will call Demi a depressed crazy boozer to explain anything Ashton does short of goat orgies…and maybe even then.

  15. Bob

    So what is it about Jon Cryer that does this to his co-workers? They better throw the kid on that show into rehab now, just in case.

  16. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    THose hands eek!

  17. Kevin

    I have no respect for the guy after getting with someone years past their prime. It’s like me getting with Taylor Swift in 20 years…it’s just kind of sad.

  18. Deacon Jones

    Demi was/is a booze bag??

  19. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t realize Dr. Who gets so much pussy.

  20. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    Nick
    Commented on this photo:

    Has Ashton caught a bit of Charlie Sheen from being on Two and a Half Men?

  21. Nick

    Has Ashton caught a bit of Charlie Sheen from being on Two and a Half Men???

  22. Frank Burns

    Just to put a positive spin on this, the sooner he is single, the sooner he is out in the bar scene. The sooner he is out in the bar scene, the sooner he will mouth off to the wrong guy, and find a fist headed towards his oh-so-punchable girly smug face. I’m giggling already.

  23. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    What a twat. A true living definition of the term shit-heel. In no uncertain terms a massive twat.

  24. Crabby Old Guy

    Somewhere, Bruce Willis is giggling.

  25. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    If you turn your lap-top upside down her knees look like two faces of retarded kids born without eyes…who are smiling. Aw god bless backwards, blind, smiley. knees faced kids.

  26. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    TWAT

  27. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Talentless twat

  28. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Zombie hands

  29. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Twaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

  30. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    TTTTTTTTTTTTTeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt

  31. Venom

    WTF is with this dude and the weird fucked up clothes and fucked up hair and beard?
    And that least episode sucked bad, I am out.

  32. Carolyn

    What’s with that hair? The bow tie looks like two tiny limp dicks, and the jacket like he stole it from a 12 year old.

  33. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    cleveland girl
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she back on cocaine? Is that what you are trying to say here?

  34. wft

    So he got sick of sleeping with a woman old enough to be his mother. What is the big deal?

  35. Lydia

    I had another thought after reading someone post about just how much Kutcher is invested in and how much he’s worth. Did Moore and Kutcher do a prenup? Cause if they didn’t then he’s gonna be paying her a nice amount of support cause she hasn’t made shit in years.

  36. cc

    How do you know you are rich? When you can get laid by a young blonde even though you dress like this.

  37. Seth Bullock

    Maybe he’s dressing this way so he can buy Thomas Jane a few sandwiches

    • Al Swearengen

      I think he’s trying to look “light in the loafers ” although I have no idea why. That jacket makes him look like the cousin that nobody talks about , the one locked in the attic.

  38. Silas Adams

    This guy jumped the shark via the new “two and a half men ” show . The new show is a disaster and should be put out of it’s misery. Ashton is retarded and plays retarded really well

  39. Delusional after leaving 48-year-old wife Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher thinks he is cupping the asses of two 24-year-olds.

  40. Let he who is without doucheiness cast the first stone.

  41. Al Swearengen

    The douche is so far over the douche line he is nearly sideways

  42. BBB

    No bias here, I don’t care what they do or don’t do with their relationship but woah, his looks are dwindling.

  43. ace11

    Didn’t Demi cheat with Michael Phelps?…she is not all that innocent in this

    He is a total tool…but lets be honest..both tangoed here

  44. broadks

    Summer’s Eve and English Leather never were a good pairing.

  45. Alicia

    This doesn’t have anything to do with the story, but can you PLEASE disable the ads that popup when readers visit individual stories on this site through an RSS reader app on the iPhone? Every time I tap “More” to read a story here a huge full page ad pops up and there is NO WAY to close it without closing the whole damn story because the little “x” to close the ad is halfway hidden on the top of the screen. And no, it is NOT an ad from my RSS reader app because 1) this is a $4.99, ad free app and 2) it only happens when I read stories from THIS site. It’s really, REALLY annoying.

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  47. Alicia

    Or, if you don’t want to disable the ads, can you please allow RSS reader apps to view the entire story in article view in the app? Only a small portion shows up in article view which is why I have to tap “More” and read the rest from the site.

  48. forrest gump

    he deserves an “Oscar” for this behaviour.
    ………….F*CK GRANNY MOORE!!

  49. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    Sugaa
    Commented on this photo:

    Nah, too many keratin treatments fried her brain…Ashton got out before he ended up having to watch her die

  50. Ashton Kuther Demi Moore Divorce
    Sugaa
    Commented on this photo:

    Celebrities….they’re just like us…only they dress weird

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