Ashton Kutcher Wants To Teach The Female Orgasm to Your Kids

January 10th, 2011 // 67 Comments

“Haha! We do all have clitties. God, I love my girlfriends.”

Ashton Kutcher apparently thinks his new movie No Strings Attached is some sort of sexual empowerment story for women and now feels qualified to demand high school girls learn about the female orgasm in sex ed class. Via Movieline:

For women in the sex education process in schools, the one thing they teach about is how to get pregnant or how to not get pregnant, but they don’t really talk about sex as a point of pleasure for women. The male orgasm is actually right there and readily available to learn about because it’s actually part of the reproductive cycle, but the female orgasm isn’t really talked about in the education system. Part of that creates a place where women aren’t empowered around their own sexuality and their own sexual selves, and from a purely entertainment point of view, to create a movie with a female lead that’s empowered with her own sexuality is a powerful thing. And if we can give teenage people something to think about from a sex perspective, I would say it would be to open a conversation where women are empowered with their own sexual experiences from an educational level as well as an entertainment level.

Did anyone understand a single word Ashton Kutcher just said back there? Because all I heard was, “Demi Moore tells me what to think or I get the hose.” Seriously, there are hardcore feminists reading this right now going, “Wow, what a little bitch.” Teaching female orgasms to kids? Yes, please, go present that one to a high school principal. I haven’t Right Click Saved a Megan’s Law photo since I noticed my neighbor owns an awful lot of clown costumes. And bear traps.

Photos: INFdaily


  1. Fumus


  2. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird

    I used to believe there was such a thing as a female orgasm but sooner or later after a few drinks with friends you hear them do a spot-on simulation at the dinner table which leads me to believe the whole thing is a sham.

    • Kalie

      Oh trust me, it’s real.

      • qwerty

        So if you hear sb faking hiccups while drunk you’ll be forever convinced they’re incapable of having real hiccups ? Your logic is flawed

      • That's Retarded

        it’s real. the problem is with female orgasms. women do not motion when achieving it. if she was completely not into it or have multiple orgasms. it would appear the same. if you have a girl moan, roll her eyes or clunch her fists. she is faking it.

        the only way you could tell is by how tight her vagina walls are. if it gets very tight then she is having an orgasm. and sometimes the eyes will diliate. the clit region usually swells or moves. but you couldn’t tell if you were banging her. eating her out is another matter.

      • you're obviously irony-challenged

        qwerty, you probably can’t tell when you’re faking your own orgasm.

      • Hank

        That’s Retarded — You’re obviously a loser. You can’t tell if a chick is having an orgasm while banging her??? That’s because no girl ever has with you. Of course you can tell, moron. The pussy has contractions. The feeling is amazing. Maybe someday you’ll enjoy it. Until then, just be thankful that you’re getting any.

      • c

        That’s Retarded – um, as a female, i can honestly say i DEFINITELY do not look the same when i’m having an orgasm as when i’m not. i moan, i roll my eyes, i clench my fists, i bite, i scratch, and i don’t fake it. you’ve obviously never given a girl a real orgasm. keep trying though, buddy.

  3. stevebeagle

    this guy still needs a crack in the mouth,,,just because

  4. Rather Dashing

    Women can have orgasms? I fail to see how that would help them bake pies…

    • Cock Dr

      It doesn’t really help us bake the pies, but if a man is consistently assisting a woman to multiple orgasms it is far more likely she’ll make him a few.
      But you have to ask. You have to be specific. We can’t read your minds about all those secret pie fantasies.

    • Lux

      As long as you give a girl orgasms that make her ejaculate and look post-massage-happy, she’ll make you a whole fucking bakery.
      See: Mrs. Fields

    • KV

      I think u only want pies so u can put your dick in it, like in that movie. American Pie, was it ?? , ’cause otherwise u’re not getting any.

  5. when Ashton is done teaching kids about female orgasms, maybe he can teach them about other myths too, like Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and Jesus.

    • Richard McBeef

      it was going well on it’s own, but the parting note about jesus assures your induction into the most important people hall of fame.

      • mud butt

        Clever *and* original. “It’s gold, Jerry! GOLD!” I have never heard Jesus compared to Santa and/or the Easter Bunny before…you are a comic genius. Brilliant!!!

      • If you’re up on your christian mythology, Santa and the Easter Bunny are both closely associated with Jesus.

      • I think they’re related. Well, Santa is a relative of Jeebus. The Easter bunny was one of his pets. You know, from the manger, along with the donkey’s and chickens and sheep and cows and rats and cockroaches … how come we never here of the saintly Rats and cockroaches that were in the manger the night Jeebus was born? They were there surely!!! Are they not Gods creatures as well???

  6. Billy Seatsniffer

    Ashton managed to use the term “empowered” 3 times in that rant, “sex” 7 times, and “women” 4 times. Is female sexuality really that fucking pathetic? Chicks need someone to walk them through the process and hold their hand so they don’t get afraid?

    • Yeah, and you really want that person to be your 45 year old health teacher.

    • That's Retarded

      yeah billy. and the ironic thing is the people responsible for the pathetic female sexuality is not men but other women. granted some men are frightened by it. i would say about 70% of most women do not check their vaginas, that’s how uncomfortable they are with their sexuality. that is is necessary for any sores ior other health issues and not just for sexuality.

  7. ACS

    “An estimated three out of four women will have a yeast infection in their lifetimes.” – Mayo Clinic page on vaginitis

    Maybe Kutcher can also support the education of of the ACS (Anti-Cunnilingus Society) by teaching boys at an early age that they should never perform cunnilingus (because it’s like eating a bowl of vaginal bacteria).

  8. Richard McBeef

    I thought this was just a shitty movie, but I guess it is really just a shitty public service announcement.

  9. Well, thank you Kelso Kinsey.

  10. Rose



    Excuse me. If he wants to promote female orgasms, no matter how douchey he is, I don’t want anyone stopping him. Even an actual retard tell high school boys about female orgasms is better than nothing. AN ACTUAL RETARD.

  11. Nancy

    He can teach me about the female orgasm any day.

  12. blt

    I hope my future daughter’s boyfriend knows where her clit is, for her sake and his!

  13. Ashton Kutcher
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He used to be quite cute. It’s not just women who hit the wall.

  14. lightdragon

    Ashton is the man.

  15. Ashton cums every time Demi breaks her cock off in his ass.

  16. Rough vs kk's volcano

    Why would he promote something in order to achieve guys have to be sent out of the room?

  17. Aussie Mama

    who wrote that script for him?
    he’s far too thick to come up with that dialogue. he must have heard mumi- demi sprout off about it, time after time and knows it off by heart now.
    sex education should be kept out of schools. it’s getting taught younger and younger and only corrupting young minds, far 2 early. 6 year olds don’t need to even know the word clit, let alone, where it is. early sexualising of kids, with brittneys, sex ed., padded bras for 8 year olds etc, etc, has only added to societies problems, not made anything better at all.
    schools will teach anything, any crap, just so long the plebs aren’t actually learning anything of any meaning or value. keep the ants dumb and teach the elite what matters.
    we fall for and jump on every band wagon and can’t see that this shit is not there to help.
    who in their right mind would listen to ashton. a hot young guy, that married a used up, scalpled old hag, with 3 kids. he has no self love or respect for himself. with his looks and fame, he should have done a hell of a lot better!

    • lightdragon

      I see someone who is incredibly sexually frustrated.

    • ChoCho

      Well, honestly, AussieMamma, it’s hit-or-miss; me and my classmates were in the 6thgrade when safe sex/std’s preventing pregnancies were taught to us…yeah by the time we graduated, some of the girls had a kid or two, but at least we walked across the stage. Me? Well, all I know is seeing the jacked-up cauliflower-looking chooch made me WANT to keep my legs closed, and I wasn’t even thinking about doing ANYTHING! Yeah I let loose in college, but at least I wasn’t stupid enough to have unprotected sex!

    • Give me a fucking break. No one is advocating teaching sex ed in school to 6 year olds, but kids start persistently asking about where babies come from at about age 6-8, and that’s when YOU as a parent should start giving them the basics, and well as whatever standards you roll to. Unfortunately a lot of parents are MIA or else so fucked up and/or clueless about how to deal with the topic that in some instances you’d actually be better off getting the skinny from your mates Unfortunately, that’s often a case of the blind leading the blind, which is why sex ed is meant to pick up the slack. – at least maybe you’ll learn that “hoohoo” and “weewee” aren’t clinical terms.

      Educating teenagers about sex “will not make them think about it more” – I guarantee you that no one thinks about sex more than a teenager. They literally couldn’t about it more if they tried. And if your kid has gotten to high school without you talking to them about it, you’ve fucking failed as a parent and you have no right to complain about “corruption” and “loss of innocence” when the state has to step in to do your fucking job for you. Keeping kids ignorant doesn’t preserve innocence – do you have any idea how many pregnancies have resulted from the idea that you can’t get knocked up the first time you do it? Any idea how poorly the “abstinence only” teaching program did in preventing teenage pregnancies?

      Yeah, sex is coming at kids at the speed of light. So do your fucking job and refuse to buy your 8 year old a padded bra – and make sure she knows the reason why that’s a bad idea in the first place.

      • lightdragon

        not funny ,but this is the best post here.

        well said.

      • akewlazzmom

        Best post here! My husband and I have a 15 y.o. daughter, and I have been talking to her about this since she was young. Now, when I ask what they are covering in sex ed. I am just appalled at what LITTLE they do teach. Mostly the reproductive system of m/f and that’s basically IT! (course, this IS Wa after all).
        No teaching of how to prevent pregnancy, teaching about birth control, just absolutely ridiculous!
        Yep, keep on teaching that “Abstinence Method” and “16 and Pregnant” as well as “Teen Mom” will have an abundance of young mothers-to-be to meet their casting needs at MTV for the next 30 years!!

      • Aussie Mama

        Hey don’t wanna an arguement, just saying my piece.
        akewlazzmom; maybe your right, but before they started teaching, there weren’t suburbs well known for single/young/teen mums and dads. haveing a go at whacking a condom onto a carrott during sex ed, when they can’t even frickin’ spell is stoopid, but hey that’s just my opinion. there’s so much more to learn and grow from out there. i just feel it’s too much too soon. the new gov. brochures, put in place by unesco, which all schools here follow, is all about gay sex. if your that way inclined, you will find out. why does every child need that shit in their head. do they need to know what to expect from their first time of anal sex? in primary school? it’s fucked up.

    • AM, get a clue. Sex ed in primary schools is age-appropriate – they don’t break out the anal sex pamplets and condoms in grade one. Kids are naturally curious, the info they get answers the questions they have at each level. 5 year olds learn parts of the body, 7 year olds learn about the facts of life, etc. They’re also taught about drugs and alcohol, and stranger danger – or is that also somehow corrupting their innocence?

      If the new sex ed is now robbing the schools of the precious resources it used to put towards teach spelling, how is that YOU are pretty much functionally illiterate? Anyone who doesn’t know “to” from “two” really has no fucking business waving the flag for that cause. You either were too stupid to grasp that subject, or you slacked off and paid no attention when it was being taught, so your “arguement” is pretty much null and void.

      It’s not “too much too soon”. The sexual revolution happened back in the ’60′s – that’s 50 fucking (literally) years ago. Due to cable TV, the net and each new technological advance, sex has become more readily accessible. Either both parents work and aren’t around to monitor their kids, or else they’d rather be “cool” and be friends with their kids than educate them and give them any sort of guidelines and discipline early on.

      And since AIDS is still out there and can still fucking kill you, education about safe sex – no matter if it’s hetero or homo – can save lives, as well as prevent another unwanted one from starting. Education about safe anal sex is vital. Since girls who want to stay technical virgins don’t consider it really sex, it might be a good idea if they learned 1) it is sex, stupid and 2) the dick up their ass could be attached to someone who might have experimented with a guy, and 3) a glove will protect them from assumptions.

      Teaching about anal sex won’t make anyone gay who isn’t already gay in the first place, but it might give a kid who isn’t out, and can’t ask for it, the means to protect himself. Which, I might point out, you might have known if you were better educated about the subject.

      • Aussie Mama

        where did i mention grade 1?
        what i am saying is in primary school biology/anatomy of the body is age appropriate. high school a little more. at no stage in schooling do i agree with condoms being tested on veggies, and yes that is done and yes those pamphlets have been distributed here.
        AIDS exists because the gays in san francisco were inoccultaed with a bogus flu shot, which was in fact AIDS. never came from monkeys, never came from africa. it was made in a military lab in fort worth texas, to rid the world of undesirables; the black population (africans in africa received the same inocculation) and of course the gay community.
        you believe what you want to believe. and i’ll believe what i believe and let’s call it a day.
        maybe those methods won’t make anybody gay, but is it fair to be exposed/educated on it, when a large portion of the population, would never want to know anyway?
        and for the recored i have no problem with gay ok. people are people, as long as they are good people that’s all i fkn care about. i have mates from various races, nationalities etc.
        anything inappropriate out there, meant to corrupt is cleverly bankrolled by the elite, for us plebs. have a great day!

      • Of course you wouldn’t agree with condoms being tested on veggies – God forbid those poor little cucumbers should lose their innocence!

        Look, if you’re going to teach sex ed, educating students on protection against STDs, AIDS and pregnancy involves condoms, and since 1) you want them to work and 2) you just don’t pull ‘em on like pantyhose, visual aids are necessary. Tough shit if you’re so sensitive that it squicks you out, but I’d rather have prudes like you outraged any day of the week and twice on Sunday than have any more unwanted kids in the world. Abstinence-only education is a joke – so either give your kids some education and standards at home, or STFU about corruption by the elite. Who’s behind this plot, Chiquita Brands International?

        Since AIDS is now found in both gay AND straight communities, whatever predictable whackjob conspiracy theory you want to float as ‘fact’ is pretty meaningless, since the issue of the day is to prevent anyone else from contracting it NOW. That means condoms. Deal with it. Since a large part of the hetero population also enjoy anal sex and blowjobs, better learn how to deal with exposure to those “gay” subjects, too. Because I guarantee you that your kids already know more about them than you do.

        And FYI , a very large part of the population would rather not be exposed to algebra either – so does that mean we shouldn’t teach it?

  18. wim

    this “Job” sucks but someone’s got to do it.

  19. anonymous

    when ashton first arrived on the scene. I thought for sure he was gay. then, he manned up a bit. but now I think his gayness is really shining through these days.

  20. Aussie Mama

    ps; at the end of the day, i come here for the laughs!

  21. Given his resume, the only thing he’s qualified to teach children about are douches.

  22. Alex

    The media is out of control with selling sex to people. I’m tired of people talking about sexual empowerment to sound edgy. Children need to be taught to abstain from sex. I don’t mean that like not give them sex education, but that teenagers are fucking idiots with barely any rational thinking skills and raging hormones. They need adults there to say you do not need to have sex with random people to be cool, and the reality of sex is that it is really boring with people who you don’t care about and then awkward. Adults need to grow up and stop trying to get attention and make up for their insecurities through random disgusting intercourse, spreading diseases all over the place. So nasty!!!

    • Aussie Mama

      touche alex. that’s all i was getting at man. i agree.
      you had mila kunis the other week saying in the media; gay is cool, i wish kids would realise that earlier in life!’
      what the fuck!
      yes getting abused, paid out, tormented in school (which are the cruelest years), then a lifetime of judgement, turmoil, rejection. look at the suicide rate alone in the gay community. gay men have an average of 16 partners in 6 months. very few, very, very few have a life partner arrangement.
      all the college, fuck your brains out movies. all there for a reason, to make it all seem normal, ok. when it’s anything but.
      yeah that’s cool, yeah, bring that on earlier!
      young people follow these fucking idiots, they want to be more careful with what they say. that’s why the media pushes forward the fuck ups, the brittneys, the lindsays, the pinks, the angelinas. these people all have fans, fans think they are cool, fans follow. you don’t hear much in the media about matt damon. he’s too frickin’ normal. the media like people that are always circling the drain, because they want the youth to do the same. fuck em up, then bring on laws to take away all of our freedoms, even if we do the right thing, and walk the right path in life.
      when people have self respect…which is fucking rare, they don’t shove their dicks into anything with a hole and they most certainly don’t fuck n blow everything in sight either.

  23. GravyLeg

    Well, if he can teach a woman whose vajajay looks like the cave from “Raiders of the Lost Ark” how to orgasm, I guess he DOES have some skills.

    • Have you seen her Va Jay jay? Then STFU … she’s had plastic surgery all over herself I’m sure the Va Jay Jay wasn’t missed or else her flaps would hang out the sides of her french bikini bottoms and you could hear her whistling while she walked.

      As for what Kutcher said, it’s one thing to teach responsible sex education to kids (Teenage pregnancy, use of condoms, the human body and what happens to it during sex) it’s a totally different thing to teach girls (Minors)about how to have orgasm. There is a point where too much information is just that, too much information. School classrooms are not where a girl should learn how to pleasure herself or what toy to use to make her cum.

  24. Ashton Kutcher
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Ashton, Fuck off and shut up. Leave the teaching to teachers and biology to Doctors you Ass tard.

  25. GravyLeg

    DC, you might be taking the internet just a little too seriously…

  26. Aussie Mama

    Justifiable; I’d just like to see kids kept kids for as long as possible. It is literally the shortest period in their lives. Once you start with adult shit and become an adult it’s for the rest of your life.
    Why the rush. Everything is so fast forward and rushed. Huge, huge pity. In some countries 6 – 12 year olds can enter arranged marriages. that’s a crime though right?

  27. Nicole

    I Hate whoever writes this blog.

    You are so so so wrong about what was said.
    Grow a vagina. how can you not see how benifitial it would be for woman if the female orgasm in school? and how much easyer it would make things for men?

    im sure you have faked an orgasm in your life, we all have, but maybe we wouldnt even think about ripping ourselfs off like that if there was no stigma around it.

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