Here Are Your New ‘Two and a Half Men’

“Guess who’s on cocaine now, motherfuckers! Whoo! Didn’t see that coming!”

Ashton Kutcher appeared at the CBS Upfronts yesterday to get everybody “jazzed” about him replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men despite this whole thing sounding suspiciously like some sort of practical joke. A “punk” if you will. Anyway, while Ashton compared the experience to winning the lottery – “Daddy’s buying you a new face, baby!” – Jon Cryer seemed happy to just be working again while the kid, Angus T. Jones, didn’t even say a word. No, really. E! News reports:

The six-foot-two Kutcher towered over Cryer and Jones, leading Cryer to quip, “Did you have to get such a tall guy?” Jones kept mum during the entire presentation, but appeared pleased that production on further episodes of Two and a Half Men would go forward.

Angus was later spotted kicking a can in an alley mumbling “Charlie always brought me porn and let me smell the hookers… Stupid CBS, I want to live with my dad.”

Photo: Splash News