Ashton Kutcher Might’ve Banged This

September 22nd, 2010 // 72 Comments
Ashton Kutcher Mistress Brittney Jones

The Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore story is somehow back in the news today despite originating from Star. His alleged mistress Brittney Jones (above) is now coming forward with text messages supposedly sent from Ashton while her friends are basically saying to anyone who will listen, “This is right up her alley. And by alley I mean vagina.” RadarOnline reports:

A source close to Brittney told RadarOnline.com exclusively that Jones “has always been obsessed with Ashton” pre-dating the steamy affair with the married actor.
“She told me once that he was by far the number one celebrity she’d like to have sex with,” said the insider, who knows Jones extremely well. “And she is totally the type to do it.”
RadarOnline.com has also obtained some never-before-seen photos of Jones who has since hired a manager and publicist in the wake of the scandal.

I hate to give Ashton Kutcher the benefit of the doubt here, but when a whore hires a manager and a publicist after claiming to have an affair with a married celebrity, that means she probably had sex with him just to launch a career because our society is so fucked to hell I’m amazed I don’t get mugged by toddlers at the supermarket. — Did I say benefit of the doubt back there? I meant to say, I hate to prove Ashton Kutcher definitely had extramarital intercourse. Typo.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Taz

    Young puss is good

  2. kbb

    I like her…..smokey eye?

  3. fester

    Time to settle the score. Demi, call me. (You can get the number from my manager/publicist)

  4. SometimesElla

    Isn’t fame for sex getting a little old. Let’s try to be creative, people.

  5. Cock Dr

    Delusional famewhore nutcase.
    Maybe.
    For an infidelity charge involving one of Hollywood’s most famous couples some proof is required, like perhaps nude photos of Ashton Kutcher.

  6. guy rossi

    Funny how she has long black hair like Demi or is it Demee?

    • fuck that bitch and her diva pronunciation. surely he’s been gettin some strange for awhile. this one’s a hella lot better than the shitbags tiger and jesse were hitting. wish i could see more of her here. like her nipples, vagina, and asscheeks. you know to make sure it’s legit.

  7. Enough

    What is it with these whores hiring publicists, getting interviews and books? JFC it’s like Tiger opened a Pandora’s box and attention whores everywhere can now make a living being mistresses.

    • Cock Dr

      Funny how I always thought the main reason mistresses were financially supported by their sugar daddies was to KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP A SECRET.
      Things are different now in the fame game. Apparently you snag the celebrity hook up, get some pictures/emails & a lawyer & a woman can really cash in.

      • Enough

        I’m no “family values” freak, but maybe some of these super-rich assholes will think twice about their goddamn “I’m allowed to fuck anything that moves” entitlement complex if their one-off decides to squeal.

        Same goes for closet cases that advocate against gay rights.

        Hm.

        Maybe all these people deserve each other.

    • SometimesElla

      Tiger? I think this all started when P Hilt proved all that it takes to be famous is a sex tape.

      • Sugar

        I feel like it started with Divine Brown and Hugh (that British guy–can’t remember his last name). She got a fair amount of attention/press and ended up being a millionaire because of it. Wasn’t that back in the 90s?

  8. Joe C

    That bitch is mediocre at best. Of course, Ashton dated Brittney Murphy for years and she was just plain dumpy looking.

    • Gerald_Tarrant

      I totally thought of Angelina. I cringed thinking about how this will definitely get them a season 4.

    • unladenswallow

      Dude, Ashton Kutcher used to date January Jones which is far better than either Demi Moore or Brittney Jones. I don’t know who to feel sorry for more, him because he left her for those two, or her because she clearly could have done much better.

  9. Yoda

    She looks like Angelina from Jersey Shore.

  10. Lady Blah Blah

    Something’s wrong with Kutcher’s taste. Let’s start with evolutionary psychology 101: Because female fecundity typically declines after the late twenties, youth is an important aspect of physical attractiveness. Why was he attracted to a woman whose fecundity was all but gone?

    One study suggested men prefer women with longer legs. Research compared the attractiveness of women of similar height but with different lengths of their legs and concluded that men found longer legs to be more attractive. Researchers hypothesized that longer legs were not only an aesthetic feature but indicated good health.

    The Body Mass Index (BMI) is another important universal determinant to the perception of beauty.[34] The BMI refers to the proportion of the body mass to the body structure. However, the optimal body proportion is interpreted differently in various cultures. The Western ideal considers a slim and slender body mass as optimal while many historic cultures consider an embonpoint or plump body-mass as appealing.

    If you look at the cover photo of Brittney Jones on Star magazine on The Hollywood Gossip site, you can see that her hip-to-waist ratio is about equal, which is to say that she has no waist. She looks like a “plump body-mass” type with short legs, like Kim Kardashian.

    Kutcher looks like he should be able to do much better than Post-Fecund Demi and Plump Body-Mass Jones. Maybe he’s crazy.

  11. anonymous

    LOL…banging married celebs is now the “get rich and famous quick” scheme.

  12. El Taco Grande

    Well at least she banged a decent looking guy like Ashton Kutcher and not, say, Michael Lohan.

  13. Fundamental of rough'ing

    Anyone, and I stress ANYONE, who doesn’t find her actions to be hot is gay…

  14. Deacon Jones

    And the lesson boys?

    ALWAYS thoroughly vet who you stick your dick in. Those “spur of the moment” times will come back to hit you sooner or later.

    Girls that knowingly sleep with a taken men have low self-esteem = brag to others to validate themselves.

    I swear I should write a book.

  15. Deacon Jones

    No. Pictures. I’ve got a shoebox full of nude shots I took through college that I’ve successfully hidden from the various ex’s to this day. That was one of my things in school, I’d talk a girl i was about to bang into posing, and then whip out the pictures at the next party abd we’d all laugh at them. I’m horrible.

  16. Justine

    SHE IS THE HOTTEST GIRL ALIVE. YA’LL ARE JEALOUS IF YOU THINK SHE’S NOT. SHE’S GOT A BANGING BODY….AND WAY BETTER THAN DEMI’S. SHE’S SOOOOO HOT AND YUMMY. YOU’D ALL BONE HER IF U HAD THE CHANCE. TOO BAD U DONT NOW. SHE’S FAMOUS AND YA’LL ARE FAT LARDS
    HAHAHAHAHAH

  17. Stephi

    I always figured if Ashton was going to piss of his mom/wife, he’d go for an attractive, hot girl.

    He surprises me at every turn.

    By the way, Kanye there in all caps above, we all know you’re gay.

  18. Justine

    JEALOUSY HURTS.

    • Richard McBeef

      you know what else does? a dried corn cob up your pussy. lets make this happen. call me.

      • Justine

        ok where do you live? Obviously not Cali. Too trashy for that huh?
        Love you! xoxxoxox.
        beef McQueer. hoho.

      • Max Hardcore

        @ justine

        too trashy for cali? HAH…no such thing. That indebted shithole state is full of trash…you must be one of the new pieces of it.

        On break from your K9 porn audition #37 for the day?

      • Deacon Jones

        Don’t fuck with Max Hardcore, Justine.

        He’s teaches lessons very well, isn’t that right Max?

      • Max Hardcore

        @ Deacon Jones

        You know it sir. From your comments, I presume you’ve seen how those little cuntholes leave when Daddy is done with them.

        ; )

      • Justine

        You all WISH you were half as hot as me! You’re all trash buckets!! Obviously from a trashy state. and state of mine. hahah go back to your doritoes – fatsos!!!!

  19. I bet all she’s got are text messages, which is probably dubious at best. Who cares. I hope her lawyer and her publicist both clean her out for whatever she’s currently worth.

    Besides, Ashton’s probably got a swinging relationship with Demi anyways.

    • SometimesElla

      I always assumed that too. It seems likely anyway. The deal is probably that they’re both discreet. Guess he messed that up.

    • v-tard

      you know, when you say it…it actually makes sense. probably is an open relationship.

  20. Amy

    Here’s what I take from this: (1) famous celebes (male and female) should not get married until they are old/not as famous anymore/get tired of the singles scene. There’s far too much temptation and time away from spouses. It really makes no sense. It’s like they are all obsessed with a “normal” life but they don’t have one.
    (2) women who cheat with married men have something wrong with them. Think about it, women rarely think like men (with their penises). Sure, we get turned on, but we have the ability to think and analyze before things happen. A woman that knowingly cheats with a married man has very low self esteem, has something to prove, and doesn’t take “no” for an answer. Especially if she can exercise control over him. In these situation, there’s a marriage, career, and lots of money in play. She’s exercising her control.

    I don’t believe in cheating, but honestly, the PRIME cheating scenario would be a married man cheating with a married woman. They both have an equal amount to lose, so secrecy would be key.

    • Deacon Jones

      I watch it every Thursday afternoon, two black SUVs pull up @ 5:30, and these late 40 somethings fuck each other in our office parking lot, get in a big argument, and then peel in their cars. It’s funny as hell

      • Amy

        Ha…and I bet neither one of them will say a word either. When you both have something to lose, secrets are kept. Wish these idiot celebs would realize that. This skank had nothing to lose, but a shit-ton to gain by fucking Ashton.

  21. Fundamental of rough'ing

    Am I to think she wouldn’t settle for Verne Troyer?

  22. Jim

    Very run of the mill star fucker. Blabbermouth star fucker.

  23. I wish these fucking sluts would stop looking for 15 minutes of fame and tv shows after fucking someone ELSE’S husband. Damn go get a fucking JOB.

  24. Phil

    Demi is way hotter than that.

  25. me

    I think Ashton is getting Punked.

  26. captain america

    she looks pretty familiare to “Grandma Moore”.
    the difference with this chick must be about fourtee(40!) years!!

  27. Cardinal Fang

    I wish I was famous enough to bad chicks like this.

  28. Amanda

    Wow! I thought that was a pick of Angelina from Jersey Shore LOL

  29. you guys are so stupid

    Just because Ashton is married to a hot girl, he wont’ cheat. It not even about age!!! I don’t care if you have the hottest girl ever!! But if you bang that hot girl every day, you start to feel bored. You want fresher meat even they are no where as hot as your wife/gf. If you were to eat the same food everyday, no matter how good it tastes, you want something else for a change. Would you eat sweet forever? You probably want something different tastes.

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