A freshly-shaved, and equally as freshly-divorced, Ashton Kutcher surprisingly showed his face at the premiere of New Year’s Eve last night because, let’s be honest, anyone who actually wants to watch the cinematic equivalent of every homogenized actor in Hollywood taking turns shitting in a bag for a ridiculous paycheck really just wants to see faces they recognize. Like a retarded person seeing their favorite cashier. Anyway, Lea Michele is also in the movie for reasons Mel Gibson and I will discuss later in a secret, underground sweat lodge, and apparently Ashton decided to walk over and stare at her chest the entire time. And, granted, it’s not a very remarkable chest, but it is also less than half a century old and probably doesn’t smell like Ensure. He’s still not used to that. “So, wait, these are the ones you were born with AND paint doesn’t chip off of them? Go on…”
Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
One’s trying to escape! Gah! Nipple-less. It’s a trap!
so much hate against lea michele, just leave the girl alone.
lea was beautiful and is a talented actress, so back off and leave her alone.
We’ll leave her alone if she goes away and leaves us alone.
Really, though, I think she’s kind of hot, except for the unfortunate face. If she worked like a real-life Mrs. Potato Head and I could replace her nose and mouth with different ones, though, I’d be all over it.
Basically she’s a bitch and also looks like a bitch.
I really don’t care about her either way. She has a good voice. I just hate Glee.
She had a photo shoot in her panties and bra that was hot.I would like to give her my genetic slurry delivery.
Wow, you went from “deal” to “cute girl” in a matter of, what? 12 posts? Kudos to you, sir!
Honestly, I don’t know much about the girl at all. I haven’t seen her be mean to anyone, let alone hear. I’m not passing judgment on her yet. We’ll wait until D-day.
He looks like a dealer, shaved and coaxed by his lawyers into a suit for his sentencing.
So is he no longer the Hippest of the Hipsters; you know the a$$holes who want to relieve my childhood as a hippie (1960′s-70′s) without any of the Social Consciousness.
He finally shaved! The caveman look was not good.
Something about a grown man tucking his hair behind his ears like an 8 year old girl scout is not a good look either.
+1
+1 now needs a decent haircut. He’ll still be a douchebag, but a douchebag with less annoying hair.
The line about the retarded person seeing their favorite cashier just made me feel so, so sad. Good work.
This pic is creepy….it’s like he’s smelling her hair or something. Ick.
Looks like they have a few things they both enjoy. The love of a good hair conditioner and her tits.
“Yes, she has this many functioning ovaries!”
So he’s gone from Demi’s inflated funbags to having to search for the nipples. Charmed life, this one.
What chest?
That’s a nice step up from being married to his mom.
He must have a thing for noses
He isn’t looking her her nose dude.
The Mel Gibson comment doesn’t make sense, as, despite her Streisand-esque schnozz, Michele is only a a quarter Jewish, with the rest of her hot little ass being a quarter Spanish, and half full-on Italian (assuring us of an extra hairy bush).
I would not put it past Mel Gibson to apply the one-drop rule to Jews.
If her mother is Jewish, *she’s* Jewish. Then again, who really gives a fuck?
“Ah this nipslip is going to make my next Nikon Coolpix commercial ROCK!”
like staring at the horizon on an ocean in an effort to see the curvature of the earth
Subtle , but somehow appropo !
Have mild interest in seeing him naked, otherwise meh.
At least he got a divorce before his inevitable decent into ‘sheen madness’
I need someone to handle my comments on the Superficial, while I go around and bang different chicks.
Someone saner…
Oh no.
lea is a beautiful girl and a talented lady, she is just friend with ashton i don’t know why people are so up in the arms about it.
at the after party lea was with her friends (the glee boys).
I’d get a bit more subtle about my username if I were you. If you’re trying to be sexy, try Sammi or Kelly or something so that people subconsciously assume you’re hot. Actually calling yourself “cute girl” however IMMEDIATELY makes one think you’re a balding fat dude with an incongruously high voice.
+1
Hi there Superficial,
Could you review this movie for us, please?
I (and I’m sure many others) would prefer your commentary on ‘bag shitting for a paycheck’. I would understand if you would have to be completely drunk or high to review it but that is what the holidays are for.
Cheers.
AGREE.
what, i thought that was rebecca black
You can be sure his middle name is neither Classy, Cool or Funny. Oddly enough he thinks he is all three.
Those eyes tell me she has already endulged in an Ashton milkshake.
Nice titties, big nose, no hips. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting, though.
I’m good at reading body language. This picture tells me Ashton has already thoroughly explored her colon (and she enjoyed it).
What a freakin creeper
Ashton looks so pussy-whipped in these photos. He needs to meet me.
“Watch what I do with just two fingers! Make her Glee all over me. Someone grab my Coolpix!”
Just add bangs, and he’s Marlo Thomas in That Girl.
FUCK this guy’s gone from douche to just plain creeeepy! He reminds me of a best friends drunken uncle who likes to “oversee” the slumber parties.
Lea is actually talented, so I suggest she stay away from slime like him.
Talented at giving head for a shitty TV gig, maybe. What else, exactly has she done to make her so “talented??
tits. you’re forgetting her tits.
“shaving each other’s faces was so fun!”
she’s italian – unlike scarjo, mila kunis, natalie portman
can we just be honest for a second? NOBODY LAUGHS LIKE THAT! thank you.
http://imgur.com/gallery/qloN4
whats up with her arms in every damn pic
nothing to fill that dress, reminds me of the proposal
Another ugly jew bitch that thinks she is hot. Look at that big jew honker.
LMFAO!
Lea is annoying but hot, just ideal for dirty hate sex, and she seems the type that would enjoy it.
Considering the sum of the rest of the parts, I can overlook the nose.
And the hairy wart growing on her shoulder.
It’s a shame someone as pretty as her should have to have bowel movements. She should be exempt.
Ashton needs to give up the Hanson hair. Lea needs to give up the double chin. Demi’s hotter at 49 than this chick is at 25.
The dress was designed for some titties. Why is she in it??
Ashton needs to get rid of the greasy – haired – wanna – be- a- boho dude look. He needs to take himself more seriously. If he doesnt start behaving NIKON will get rid of him.
Wait…wasn’t she a great big fat person?
Lea Michele tries too hard. She’s flat-chested and really shouldn’t be wearing that dress at all. She makes this dress look kind of cheap.