“I will Jesus these people on the ways of making love,” he thought before his mind turn to thoughts of wool hats. Oh, how he loved them.
Compounding the mistake of casting him in the first place, Asthon Kutcher has been doing promotional junkets for his new movie No Strings Attached where he’s been allowed to speak freely on sex, teaching kids orgasms and how he totally stopped doing crunches for a week because he’s an artist:
“For this movie, I intentionally didn’t work out. So stuff where I had my shirt off, I wasn’t really comfortable with myself.” – Extra
“Inherently, I find that having sex and intimacy, when it’s great, it’s funny.” – E! News
“Join me and vote Chomp for Best Mobile Application for the 2010 Crunchies awards! http://is.gd/kcaCA #crunchies” – Twitter
Okay, maybe that last one wasn’t so much a quote about the movie as $10 grand in Ashton’s pockets, but I think we all can agree it’s retarded and adds to the delicate tapestry I’ve woven here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to write some stand-up for the next time I get laid because apparently that’s what I’ve been doing wrong. Ha! And my ex said it was premature ejaculation. Women.
Photos: Splash News
First?
He’s still not funny.
Ashton is wearing the finest in douchebag wear as he heads over to finger fuck a grade school girl. He calls it mentoring.
Ha!
How the hell does this guy keep managing to escape and make public comments? He must have put a padlock on Demi’s sarcophagus.
Lol@ sarcophagus!!
Wait, am I being Punk’d?
what the hell does he know about sex except for dropping his boxers and letting Demi pound his ass with her dildo?
Biggest.Douche.Ever.
I’d hit it.
With a Buick.
Ashton! the role for douche Sam winchester on “Supernatual” is over.
So, uh… you got the wool cap on, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I guess, you know, whatever, it’s uh… 96 degrees out, you know. Better-better put on the old wool cap. Yeah. Got a lot, uh, going on under there, huh? Under, under the wool cap? Thinkin’ ’bout your sideburns? Yeah. No, no, no. You’re not a complete jackass. Yeah. Oh, hey, nice T-shirt. “PHRESH”. And-and it’s spelled with a “PH”. Oh, that’s fun ’cause it’s usually spelled with an “F”. Yeah. Oh, and you got a little tear in your pants there– oh, that’s on purpose, though, isn’t it? Yeah. Yeah, you’re a bad boy. You’re a bad boy. Society wants your pants to be intact. But you’re not just gonna listen, are you?
Hitler; always with the jokes.
Society does want our pants to be intact.
you know, he is one dude that I wish read all the derogatory stuff about him on boards or sites and just gave up. I’d love to sign a petition that banned this dude from the public like how they don’t want UWE directing any more flicks.
I think the technical term for this is FACEPALM.
All that cuteness is starting to flesh out & sag.
At least he’s not Botoxing.
Be good Ashton. Don’t get caught again.
Am I the only one who thought he was Samantha Ronson?
Ladies and gentlemen, meet your posterboy for “Hipster Wannabe Douche 2011″.
I swear, if I was wearing that outfit, someone would probably try to give me a dollar.
I had that same look on my face, after putting off taking a shit for 5 days after the birth of my daughter.
Wasn’t Keanu Reeves wearing that same outfit at the end of “Point Break”?
He looks like he’s pouting because Demi took something away from him, like his dignity.
A movie like that isn’t a bad idea at all.. Let the experts do the talking…..
I see lots of green in the make. Could be a potential blockbuster ….
I prefer him when he plays Kelso and keeps his mouth shut in the media. Love Kelso!
If this movie is what i think it is. I’ll be willing to pay more than generous for a ticket… A couple of decades ago this type of movie was one of my favorites…
*Makes a generous gesture* 24 orgastic virgins are awaiting you.
This picture doesn’t give him much the credit what he does deserve. Decades ago he was the better variant of Billy Idol in all the details.
I’m quite sure the golden heart is still there. We can put a diamant on top.
Not to be mistaken…… It’s all real, sincere and true.
And … Who else is walking around with a ring as well …? Yes it is, true story.
Yes, it’s mirrored in this picture with a stone on top what’s able to carve into glass like it’s butter. That’s quite right.
I feel committed now.
Don’t you have to do some grocery shopping soon??
I guess i do, my red swollen ring finger does deserve a fruit basket.
..and eating.
……………..and sleeping.
……………………………..and shitting.
and all the other things.
(life can be boring)
Hes lookin ever so hobo here!
By the way, who the hells payin to see this guys movies?? SOMEBODY must be cuz they keep letting him make them!
Number 41 is 43 or 44 now. Don’t be afraid to send me the right answer.
He would be so hot if he never spoke.