Amid rumors he’s been banging a woman with one foot not in the nursing home, Ashton Kutcher made a public appearance with Demi Moore at the Clinton Global Initiative today where the two did their best to pretend this situation wasn’t inevitable. Except they failed miserably because if I didn’t believe the rumors already, I do now. Seriously, they call themselves actors? I’ve seen more believable performances from the guy at the bus station who claims he’s Michael Jackson. Shit, he even touched a kid once! Now that’s commitment.