Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore Will Fix Their Marriage With Israel Magic

October 11th, 2010 // 38 Comments

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were spotted in Israel yesterday (above) where they’re rumored to be renewing their vows and restoring their possibly open marriage through the power of Kabbalah. Or they’re just speakers at a world peace conference which is equally retarded, but back to the marriage stuff:

Did these people seriously go to Israel to resolve a conflict? Israel. If you don’t see the irony in that, here’s an ICP song about magnets. On that note, renewing your vows in a holy city doesn’t suddenly make your marriage more sacred and spiritual. Unless buying plane tickets and having a lot of free time is some higher level of Kabbalahism. In which case, that explains Madonna‘s penchant for international child-snatching. I just assumed it was a rich person thing.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. anon

    Sure. Let’s remember Madonna and Guy ‘renewed’ their vows in a Kabalah ceremony after many denials of their pending divorce and just months before they did publicly divorce. Hmmmm….

    • Demi is morphing into Danielle Staub.

    • The Only Hetero in this Joint

      LET THIS BE A LESSON to all you old broads out there: Eventually age wins. It always does. You can’t hold back time ladies so quit complaining about your husbands and thinking you can get hold of young cock permanently. You’ve had your run now just be a good old broad and concentrate on being a great and dutiful wife and mother and stop thinking you got something anybody but your husband would want 5, 10 years from now.

      P.S. – How many hot YOUNG jewish chicks will Ashton boff before boarding the El Al flight back home?

      Jesus – a 47 year old Demi vajayjay?! Seriously? Seriously?

  2. anon

    Oh, and let’s not forget Kate and Jon Gosselin ‘renewing’ their vows in a much hyped obvious contrived infomercial version of thier ‘realty’ show after similar denials of a pending separation and we all know how well that went.

  3. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore in Israel
    ASS_FRISTER
    Commented on this photo:

    FRIST!!!

  4. Urbanspaceman

    Demi isn’t exactly dressed properly for visiting the Western Wall, is she?

  5. It's Still TAB

    Anyone feeling the need to go to great lengths publically, professing their love and commitment to one another is in serious denial of what is truly going on in their relationship. It’s over..Sorry..Survey says! Thanks for playing..

  6. Cat the Cat

    How nice of her to take her grandson to Israel.
    Now where’s this husband of hers?

  7. peasant

    So visiting the bullet-holey city will resurrect their ephemeral union?

  8. Richard McBeef

    she should just let him fuck random mediocre young chicks. i mean what does she expect? Her pussy is old and Rumer Willis came out of it. They probably have to use a whole tube of lube to get that old pussy in business.

  9. yourmom dottcom

    ka-balah-blah-blah…whatever

  10. music fan

    These pics have just confirmed what I’ve thought all along. Demi is not all that attractive looking. Ashton looks as if he’s thinking, “okay mom, I’ll hold your hand and pretend everything is fine, then can I send out some tweets”

  11. grobpilot

    Fish! Where the fuck is all the NSFW stuff you used to post? You can’t tell me that celebrities (and pseudo-celebrities) have suddenly discovered morals and no longer get naked. Do your fucking job so I can waste time at my job, dammit!

  12. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore in Israel
    asdasasdasd
    Commented on this photo:

    Demi is hot.

  13. Intifada

    I wonder if they were ever thinking of the plight of the poor Palestinians as they were spending thousands of dollars in the country that treats others like the Nazis treated them?

  14. hmm…I do NOT think I’d be walking around Israel wearing anything remotely military uniform looking. Hell, it’s bad enough she’s in the most misogynistic part of the world dressed like a hooker, but she wants to look like an IRA guerrilla too?

    The fact that she apparently wears old lady glasses 24×7 now should entitle Ashton to fuck whoever he wants.

    • Really

      You clearly don’t know anything about Israel. You might be thinking about Iran. While you’re online go read something informative about the world instead of opening your ignorant mouth.

  15. Enoch

    8 A vision thus appeared to me.

    9 Behold, in that vision clouds and a mist invited me; agitated stars and flashes of lightning impelled and pressed me forwards, while winds in the vision assisted my flight, accelerating my progress.

    10 They elevated me aloft to heaven. I proceeded, until I arrived at a wall built with stones of crystal. A vibrating flame surrounded it, which began to strike me with terror.

    11 Into this vibrating flame I entered;

    12 And drew nigh to a spacious habitation built also with stones of crystal. Its walls too, as well as pavement, were formed with stones of crystal, and crystal likewise was the ground. Its roof had the appearance of agitated stars and flashes of lightning; and among them were cherubim of fire in a stormy sky. A flame burned around its walls; and its portal blazed with fire. When I entered into this dwelling, it was hot as fire and cold as ice. No trace of delight or of life was there. Terror overwhelmed me, and a fearful shaking seized me.

    13 Violently agitated and trembling, I fell upon my face. In the vision I looked.

    14 And behold there was another habitation more spacious than the former, every entrance to which was open before me, erected in the midst of a vibrating flame.

    15 So greatly did it excel in all points, in glory, in magnificence, and in magnitude, that it is impossible to describe to you either the splendour or the extent of it.

  16. Intifada

    Am I the only one who thinks that Demi looks like John Lennon with tits in this photo?

  17. Nik

    why is ashton holding hands with a dude?

  18. al

    I am the proud owner of a 46 year old va jay jay. I would like to inform the moron who disparages older women that the area down there, the muscles get stronger and stronger with time. My significant other tells me it is better for him down there now than ever and we met in our 20s. So, maybe that is why Ashton likes older women. He is no dummy! But, you are!

    • Yeah, but have you seen the size of Rumer Willis’ head? Her jaw alone must have ruined that thing for anyone less blessed than John Holmes. I’d say not all 46 year old vajay-jays are in the same shape, ma’am.

    • si_ex_pat

      I am sure your husband feeds you BS lines all the time. Why dont you hook him up to a lie detector and show him that picture of Demi and the one of Minka Kelly right above and ask him who he would rather bang. I dont care how strong Demi’s kiegal muscles are I wouldnt put my dick within 100 feet of her.

  19. Amabel

    Demi is such an old hag that she could easily pass as Ashton’s father.

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  21. Bunny

    She should have NEVER split with Bruce. Fucking idiot hag.

  22. Joe

    She should have waited till he was 50, at least. Let the poor kid grow up.

  23. Dinkus

    Mommy, I’m so sorry I fucked a pussy my own age. I promise only to fuck your aged pussy and fakeass ego tits from now on, mommy….Demi doesn’t look horrible, but Ashton is a major ass for not scoring the tons of pussy that were begging him to enter. I mean, seriously, this is the weirdest story regarding a guy who could get tons of pussy in history. And Demi is the classic older man/woman who isn’t going to be able to hang on forever. She can’t let him get a taste of what he’s missing cuz he won’t come back. I know there is a bias towards older men/women but this is why. Women get the advantage when they’re younger, and men get it when they’re older, that’s just how it is. You think Ashton is gonna bang Demi when she’s 60? HAHAHAHAHA.

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