A Campfire Will Save Ashton & Demi’s Marriage. Why Not?

October 11th, 2011 // 26 Comments

On top of Kabbalah magic, and let’s assume coordinated scarf-wearing therapy, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore reportedly attended a campfire counseling session over the weekend. Because if a pile of burning sticks and logs can’t save their marriage, then maybe next time they should try tires. I hear they’re medicinal. RadarOnline reports:

Two and a Half Men star Ashton Kutcher used Yom Kippur, the holiest and most solemn day of the year for Jews, to beg his heartbroken wife Demi Moore for forgiveness — at a campfire heart-to-heart in Santa Barbara, Calif., RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.
As these exclusive photos obtained by Star magazine reveal, the 33-year-old serial cheater used the Day of Atonement to make amends for his ultimate sin: cheating on Demi with blonde Sara Leal, 23, on September 24 — the morning of their sixth anniversary.
The fireside chat is one of the rare times the embattled pair has been seen photographed together in three months and since news broke of Ashton’s wild hot-tub party awash with booze and blondes.
Reuniting at Cachuma Lake in the Santa Ynez Valley, Demi and Ashton had desperately wanted the October 8 rendezvous to remain a secret — their last ditch attempt to resurrect a faltering union.

“So, remember how I had sex with another woman on our anniversary? What if I told you I brought Smooor-errrres?”

Yup, these two’ll be fine.

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.


  1. Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Sara Leal
    Commented on this photo:

    if that’s not the face of guilt, i don’t know what is

  2. Elihu Smails

    They both have to be human and realize that their relationship needs more than just a campfire and some culty counseling .
    They were rowing upstream from the beginning, and if they both aren’t unselfish and self – centered , they could make it . Actors don’t normally fall in the non self – centered area , however

    • Lydia

      truthfully, anyone who lives in LA for long enough becomes self-centered to csome degree, which is why divorce is soo high here. and kutcher was clearly self-centered to start, so the fact that it’s lastest this long without something coming out is amazing, but i don’t think it’s gonna work now strictly cause the media is soo intent on biting at this instead of trying to be nice

  3. Hope it was one of those campfires where everyone takes their clothes off and hold hands like hippes.. ♫ Someone’s cheating, Lord, cum-ba-ya.. ♪

    • Frank Burns

      Probably its a burning pentagram, with Demi in the middle, covered in virgin blood, praying to Pan to renew her youth for one more year.

      • Al Swearengen

        That’s Madonna’s satanic ritual , and she is sacrificing orphans for another year of youth. Only , Satan has a get out of jail for free clause – Madonna is just too evil and self – centered

    • Lemmiwinks

      From the slideshow I gather it was one of those rich fucks black-tie campfires.

  4. “Hey Demi, why the elongating fa-DON’T SIT SO CLOSE TO THE FIRE!!”

  5. Cock Dr

    These photos were taken a year ago. Both of these people have lost much of their remaining physical attractiveness in that time frame. That’s probably why the marriage collapsed……cause of divorce will read “irreversible loss of hotness”.

  6. ace11

    Ashton Kutcher is catholic

    what the hell is this observing Yom Kippur non sense?

    • lolz

      I was gonna ask that. Are either of those two actually Jewish?

      • TomFrank

        You guys just don’t understand how Kabbalah works—Wait. Let me rephrase that.

        You guys just don’t understand how the Kabbalah Centre works. I don’t either, but I think “faddish bullshit ritualistic version of Judaism bordering on money-making cult” isn’t far off.

      • Richard McBeef

        You don’t have to be jewish to be putz

  7. Nothing says May/December marriage fixer like the smell of campfire on your old wife.

  8. Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Sara Leal
    Commented on this photo:

    *To himself: ”Come on Kabbalah, don’t fail me now”
    *Turns to cameraman: “There WERE no other women….dammit, wait…” *turns to wife* “There WERE no other women…I can go about my business…move along.”

  9. Millionaire Matchmaker

    They’re doomed.

  10. Richard McBeef

    A campfire might save their marriage, but dying in a fire might save us all.

  11. Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Sara Leal
    Austin "Danger" Powers
    Commented on this photo:

    That ain’t no woman! It’s a man, man!

  12. forrest gump

    …………enjoy it while you can.
    (the marriage)

  13. Ed G.

    “Smooor-errrres” will probably help, but Coffee Can Ice Cream will really seal the deal.

  14. Well, he’s the star of Two and a Half Men now, so he should probably trade her in for an older model

  15. pdan

    You mock the campfire ceremony, but everyone knows the best way to keep the fire alive in a marriage is to add more wood.

  16. V

    Demi is so stupid, I swear. She completely disappeared from everyone’s radar when she was still moderately successful, came back ten years later, wasted what could’ve been her best years in entertainment and for that she’s now forced to put up with this retard’s bullshit just to keep some semblance of relevance. do you really think they’re working at it because of love.

  17. mickey

    Ashton will play this game until he gets tired of it. Men r that way or Demi might find another man for her life. I know they stay pretty busy, but will this make them happy? I really have to think that if he did sleep with other women this might be the beginning of the end, if Demi has some pride.

  18. dee cee

    Yes burn IT with fire! So, no happy endings these immature, cheating fools weren’t really married anyway.. and how did the cameras suddenly appear on their secret retreat?

Leave A Comment