Ashley Tisdale in a bikini

These are pictures of High School Musical’s Ashley Tisdale spending her birthday in Hawaii. If you have no idea who she is, please, switch lives with me. In the meantime, I guess she’s hot – sort of. I dunno. Hold on, my penis just wrote me a note: “I quit.” Dude! What about the memories we’ve had together? Like all those time I’d think inanimate objects were really a woman: The coffeemaker, the book shelf, Suzanne Somers…

EDIT: Moving this to the top of the page in the interest of freedom. Or science. Or something. Don’t question it. Otherwise that means the terrorists have won.

Photos: Splash News