Ashley Olsen has landed a role in “The Informers” an adaptation of the Bret Easton Ellis novel. The movie also stars Billy Bob Thornton and Kim Basinger, who, up until now, I assumed was dead. Reuters reports on the film’s premise:
Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the script follows seven stories taking course during a week in the life of a movie executive, his wife, his mistress, a rock star, a vampire and a kidnapper. Thornton will play the movie executive, and Basinger his wife. “Superman star Brandon Routh has been cast as the vampire, while Ashley Olsen will play a sexually promiscuous girl.
Okay, so who is Ashley’s character being promiscuous with? Clearly not the vampire because, let’s face it, you can’t suck blood out of a mummy. It has to be a coma patient. A really, really deep into a coma patient. I’m talking this guy will die in about one second. That’s how bad his coma is. But you know, even under those conditions, getting it on with an Olsen twin? I’m just not buying it. Now if Ashley played the vampire, and Brandon Routh played the promiscuous girl, that would be totally believable. I’d think I was watching CNN, that’s how believable it’d be.
donkey ass | August 30, 2007 at 6:10 pm
First again chumps
BLA | August 30, 2007 at 6:12 pm
boring
SMRT? | August 30, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Alright, lets see the routine she uses with her coke dealer when she needs a fix
teeteetdot | August 30, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Sexually promiscuous? Isn’t Ashley Olsen 12 years old?
Bill Clinton | August 30, 2007 at 6:24 pm
I’d hit it.
the new dude | August 30, 2007 at 6:33 pm
whoever thinks anybody is dead is a dead beat lol, we all have our own lives and we do our own shit, nobody will ever be dead lol, maybe umm, tom cruise for his depression thing, mel gibson for like bein drunk discriminatin jews and ummm kramer for nero hatin lol
kdfkj | August 30, 2007 at 6:39 pm
I agree, the olsen twin should be a vampire. She’s so starving she looks undead.
no1justminda | August 30, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Oh, that’s her role? I thought that was everyday…
mabbo | August 30, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Well her character should be promiscuous with Brandon Routh’s character…but this is Hollywood, a place run by dirty old white men. So no doubt her character will probably have explicit sex scenes with Billy Bob Thornton, a man old enough to be her…uh…one of the founding fathers of America? Hmmm.
justplainconfused | August 30, 2007 at 6:46 pm
It may not be saying much, but she looks healthier than Mary-Kate did the last time MK showed up here. Their careers must both be on life support. MK is making out with Ben Kingsly, and now Ashley sounds like she’s doing a skin movie.
alf oldland | August 30, 2007 at 6:50 pm
“sexually promiscuous,” borders on redundancy in colloquial dialogue.
brandon routh is gay — and unlikeable. this will be one of a very few chances he has to develop his essentially stillborn film career.
the olsen twins and their dualstar label are like media diseases. i guess a few billion goes a long way.
cheers,
AO
Lexoka | August 30, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Wow she’s really scary… Her eyes and everything… She looks like some sort of evil nazi demon ghost or something.
the new dude | August 30, 2007 at 6:58 pm
whoever thinks anybody is dead is a dead beat lol, we all have our own lives and we do our own shit, nobody will ever be dead lol, maybe umm, tom cruise for his depression thing, mel gibson for like bein drunk discriminatin jews and ummm kramer for nero hatin lol
Hemlock Queen | August 30, 2007 at 7:00 pm
What acting? Everyone knows that neither of them can’t act. I guess on the plus side is if one dies from anorexia, you can pop another one in and no one would be the wiser. Except us.
Heywood Jablomi | August 30, 2007 at 7:19 pm
#13: We heard you the first time, fuckstick.
jimena | August 30, 2007 at 7:20 pm
i love you, “Superficial” guy!!! your comments always make me smile and/or laugh!!! that Terminator thing about LiLo was brilliant also…!
love from Spain ;)
Riotboy | August 30, 2007 at 7:37 pm
DO NOT WANT!!!
John | August 30, 2007 at 8:04 pm
She’s spotty.
mommamia | August 30, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Why do her lips always look like that in any picture EVER taken of her?
Joe Millionaire | August 30, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Eat Some Steak!!!
http://retire-with-millions.com
1MILF Hunter | August 30, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Please, no nude scenes. It’d would look like an adult man and a 12 year old boy with long hair.
tommy salami | August 30, 2007 at 10:34 pm
i wonder if the joker from batman is her biological father…..look at those lips………
tommy salami | August 30, 2007 at 10:35 pm
i bet she will be in rehab soon……………..she looks like a duck on cocaine(TM)
tommy salami | August 30, 2007 at 10:35 pm
its ashley…………… the crack smoking duck……….
J | August 30, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Does anyone else think that she goes to the same plastic surgeon as Jenna Jameson….cause they have the SAME FACE
ZA | August 31, 2007 at 2:04 am
Not sure about Jenna Jameson, maybe a little 70 year old lady I see at the post office. These two seriously need to get the medal for worst aged child actors.
*** | August 31, 2007 at 3:07 am
ashley should definitely play the vampire! that would be like no work at all for the makeup artist. that’s a good way to save some money!
What do you want?! | August 31, 2007 at 4:40 am
Is “The Informers” a new Bret Easton Ellis’s novel? I love this fag’s books in a strange way. Strange, because I feel ashamed to admit it. Like liking the pickles in McDonald’s burgers.
cocaKelli | August 31, 2007 at 5:59 am
13 “kramer for nero hating”?
I was Nero hating too but turned out my drive was broke. Gotta do updates too. Dick.
Jillia | August 31, 2007 at 8:41 am
New dude,
We like people that can create sentences and form complete thoughts. For your next posts, please refrain from writing one long rambling mess. Thanks!
jrzmommy | August 31, 2007 at 9:06 am
can a wigged, walking cadaver be sexually provocative?
lemon tree | August 31, 2007 at 9:19 am
#25 – That’s EXACTLY what I thought when I saw this pic. TWO DUCK FACE girls – what are the odds?!?!?!?!
BaldAsBritney | August 31, 2007 at 10:26 am
Straight to video
M | August 31, 2007 at 10:36 am
OMG I hate dat freakin pout they do..I mean smile or do NOTHING! I used to love watching them when I was little but seriously what the HECK do they do now???
MOM | August 31, 2007 at 10:39 am
I can’t see myself ever watching a movie of either of the Olsen’s that isn’t a cute twin story. Sorry, but they were so much more interesting as little girls being cute little girls. Like “It Takes Two;” that was a nice movie.
Clementines | August 31, 2007 at 10:40 am
Don’t do it Kim.. !
Jus' Stupid | August 31, 2007 at 11:01 am
She looks like she just saw a big penis in every picture. She’s scared of being cracked in half like a walnut.
bonzo420 | August 31, 2007 at 11:11 am
only 8 more years till shes legal….
awww those were the days.. remember the countdown– what happened !!
eat bitch eat!
fist!
~ 420 ~
Loveknuckle | August 31, 2007 at 11:23 am
America should be ashamed of itself for making these trolls famous and rich. Shame
mafme | August 31, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Re: “Duckface”
I was wondering who started this trend and how much it would cost to have that person thoroughly beaten. It’s unattractive, but I fear that it will become attractive through attrition… seriously, it keeps me up at night.
mafme | August 31, 2007 at 12:19 pm
…and not up in the way I’d like.
Kill Yourself | August 31, 2007 at 2:30 pm
THIS IS A FUCKING TRAVESTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRET EASTON ELLIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY ONE OF THE GREATEST NOVELISTS OF OUR TIME AND THEY’RE PUTTING THIS SKANK IN THE MOVIE????? DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THIS???? HOW COULD SUCH AN AMAZING BOOK TURN TO SUCH SHIT ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY???? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kymelle | August 31, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Her eyes are scary beautiful. I’m totally jealous
Clementines | August 31, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Ashley’s the promiscuous girl?Billy Bob Thornton?!!! Kim get out of this movie! Run Kim run! Spoiler alert… >>>>>
“In this seductive and chillingly nihilistic new book, Bret Easton Ellis, the author of American Psycho, returns to Los Angeles, the city whose moral badlands he portrayed unforgettably in Less Than Zero. The time is the early eighties. The characters go to the same schools and eat at the same restaurants. Their voices enfold us as seamlessly as those of DJ’s heard over a car radio. They have sex with the same boys and girls and buy from the same dealers. In short, they are connected in the only way people can be in that city.
Dirk sees his best friend killed in a desert car wreck, then rifles through his pockets for a last joint before the ambulance comes. Cheryl, a wannabe newscaster, chides her future stepdaughter, “You’re tan but you don’t look happy.” Jamie is a clubland carnivore with a taste for human blood. As rendered by Ellis, their interactions compose a chilling, fascinating, and outrageous descent into the abyss beneath L.A.’s gorgeous surfaces.”
(—taken from the back of the book, The Informers)
Max | August 31, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Look slike we have another candidate for a DUCK!
Justin | August 31, 2007 at 10:37 pm
She totally ripped that face off from Derek Zoolander.
Poor Ashley | September 1, 2007 at 12:12 am
Her mouth reminded me of my mouth years ago when my dentist injected too much novocaine.
jill | September 1, 2007 at 1:11 am
honestly, this post didnt even make sense. where did the funny writer go?
herbiefrog | September 1, 2007 at 6:52 pm
ok…hit self over head…
get out “two of a kind” dvd’s
restore image of mka that makes sense
…and rest
LauraE | September 2, 2007 at 7:17 am
Someone stole Chanel’s fonts (background)