Ashley Olsen dating Lance Armstrong

October 31st, 2007 // 102 Comments

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six:

Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.”

Lance, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know what it’s like to keep your body at peak physical shape. Like a well-tuned machine. You push yourself to the limit everyday. And sometimes you just need to relax. Whether that entails taking in a movie, drinking a fine glass of wine or having sex with an anorexic Muppet is your decision. In the meantime, since you bagged yourself an Olsen twin, the Sesame Street people keep calling. They want Kermit back.


  1. korina_jebediah

    no freaking way
    bbq stuff

  2. sora


  3. korina_jebediah

    not talking bout these two but that i was first
    guess everyone got bored with such a lazy news day
    pure fillers
    by the way
    happy halloween everybody
    little red riding hood as my disguise wuhu

  4. Somebody string up that evil, fur wearing bitch.

  5. gecko_lad

    Wait, the Tour de France dude Lance Armstrong? Isn’t he like 100 years old?
    Well, at least they’re both druggies, so they can talk about SOMETHING.

  6. ph7

    I bet he pumps her like a bicycle crank.

  7. Riotboy



  8. Annabel

    Armstrong having sex with that anorexic Olsen twin… thank you for making me throw up on my desk.

  9. Realist

    Korina [#1] why don’t you dress up as a retard? You wouldn’t even have to dress up. I’m sure I’m not the ‘first’ to call you a retard.

  10. CrankyGranny

    She is so little that one testicle slaps like two!

  11. fweem

    is this the cute one?

  12. Argyle

    An anorexic muppet sure, but an anorexic muppet with more money than Jebus Christ.

  13. She looks so innocent in those pictures –

    if it just weren’t for the fur coat

  14. I would to see her just ack normal

  15. cookievanderbilt

    Way to rock the fur, ya little monkey.

  16. korina_jebediah

    @ 9
    Realist (wouldnt it be “Realistic”? just asking)
    why so bitter? :/
    and nope, sorry to dissapoint you but im not a retard, neither i’ve been called like that ever
    chill out

  17. Is there a cute one?

  18. bobby

    i really hope this is fabricated

  19. having sex with ashley olsen fuck meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. haroof


    is lance that desperate??

  21. Lobster

    “Armstrong” is spelt wrong in the title…

  22. fweem

    @17 maybe if you squint enough?

  23. em

    fur looks best on it’s original owner, not 20 somethin’ billonaires who have enough money to save every single animal on the face of the earth.

    sorry for ranting, damn trick or treaters are pissing me off tonight.


  24. STeve

    Good…..I’m happy for both of them if it works out. Screw all you shallow assholes!

  25. bill


  26. justtheobvious

    Maybe I’m gay for noticing, or complaining, but why the hell is her toe on top of the other toes on her left leg? What a freak.

  27. gotmilk?

    i am still trying to decide what is more disgusting: her sitting on lance armstrong’s lap or her wearing that fur coat.


  28. TJ

    Yeahh boyeee!!!! Get this visual…Lance bouncing her on his lap with his unicep deeeep inside her ultra tight vajayjay, thrusting and bouncing and thrusting and bouncing, my GOD his peepee looks massive inside her girly mound…RIDE IT COWBOYEE!!!!


  29. TJ

    Yeahh boyeee!!!! Get this visual…Lance bouncing her on his lap with his unicep deeeep inside her ultra tight vajayjay, thrusting and bouncing and thrusting and bouncing, my GOD his peepee looks massive inside her girly mound…RIDE IT COWBOYEE!!!!



    I TOLD YOU: all white men liked anorexic chicks. No wonder all you white women starve themselves!

  31. michelle

    ok ewww i knew lance armstrong was a sleezy guy.. thats just wrong. groosss… ashley, honey, you dont need to get that desperate for some lovin. hes so gross!

  32. Phallic

    A little on the gross side, but more power to him.

    And remember, he only has one nut.

  33. Makemepuke

    Oh Lance, man with one testicle…Look Cheryl Crow is a fuckin bitch but she is fuckin hot what are you thinkin man…….I think steroids and erythopoetin have fried your brain my man……Olsens…na …you can do better dude, your still at least Pam Andersson material , Carmen Electra???

  34. Ript1&0

    I don’t get what’s so wrong with fur anyway, people. Bitch just knows how to keep a billion dollars warm, that’s all.

  35. Arden

    @30. Learn how to talk. Esp. if you’re tossing insults around. That isn’t even ‘ebonic’. That was just illiterate.

  36. Alex P Keaton

    In photo #2 she looks scared she’s going to get sucked into the vacuum that smoking biatch is creating by chuffing so freaking hard.

    Her fur rocks and she’s hot. I’m glad you people have indignation for fur wearers but none for people like #9 who feel it is OK to insult those with disabilities. Some of my favorite people are ‘tards.

  37. It’s quite simpel. Why should a winner take a loser’s date like this ashley olson. Well, it needs a closer look:
    This Lance was and still is a borne winner with the right feelings of Fathership. So this is His way to help this mental extremely weak and ill person. She also, like plenty of others think money and shopping is THE WAY!!

  38. e g

    Publicity campaign by nobodys.

    No one cares.

  39. Latigo

    [Note to self: Insert one-nut joke here when sober.]

  40. WTF?

    Okay ~ WTF would a 100 year old man see in a 19 year old girl? (Ages exagerated)


  41. lance armstrong just wants a tight vagina. boobs nevermind.

  42. RENEE Z....

    What the hell?! I thought Lance was mr. health and fitness, and yet he’s hooking up with this anorexic waif?! Then again Sheryl Crowe was awfully thin; fit but thin. He must like the twiggys. But Ashley Olsen?! He must like the uglies too. Sheryl Crowe has sort of an ugly mug as well.

  43. Igottabemeee

    You people have heard of FAUX fur? Billionaires can also afford fake fur that looks real.

  44. sharpeidude

    Lance Armstrong in love with a stir stick? WTF?

  45. Goober Monkeys

    I thought he was in a spandex-laden, bulging-thighed threeway thing with Jakey G. and Matthew McConaughey?

    P.S. Mary-Kate is the hot, psycho one, this is the boring one.

  46. Uhm, this is all kinds of ick. I hope she calls him Daddy while he is boinking that fine piece of zombie-itis. Ha! Zombies! How very seasonal.

  47. lol

    lol. THAT lance armstrong?? with the bike and scheryl crow and one nut?? NO FUCKING WAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  48. lol

    lance is a fucking pervert then!

  49. Tania

    Wow, who woulda thunk it? Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong! Can we all say early Mid-Life Crisis? What is up with that? And I thought Mary-Kate was the anorexic twin, not Ashley. Oh well, they are both consenting adults but I still think it’s not in very good taste to be flaunting that all over the place. Maybe Lance is trying to stay young, hip & popular? Ah, I dunno! Maybe the age difference isn’t THAT big. To each his own … As long as they are both happy and he doesn’t forget that he has children to care for.

  50. lol

    LOL 26. i hate it when peoples second toe gets on the big toe or squished between 1st and 3rd. it bothers me…. a lot.

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