Lance Armstrong’s daughter brought his new girlfriend Ashley Olsen to school for show and tell. Usually kids bring in things like rocks, frogs or their dad’s porn collection. But his girlfriend? I dunno. Radar reports:
One of the part-eunuch biker’s young daughters (he has twins) had the honor of taking a more realistic (though slightly less boobtastic) Barbie to her class for observation. Yes, daddy’s lady love Ashley Olsen was recently shown and told about at the young girl’s Texas school.
“Celebrities do this all the time,” the source said.
Wow, I learned a lot from that article. Especially about Lance Armstrong’s missing testicle and Ashley Olsen’s small boobs. These two will make a great couple, you know, because they lack the necessary body parts to have sex. Which is good. Saves them from an evening of disappointment, crying and, I’ll assume based on Ashley’s outfit, archeology. Or cattle herding. I can’t decide, but I do know it will involve scarfs.
ToTellTheTruth | November 14, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Bitch looks cracked out.
Geoff | November 14, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Don’t bother checking her stomach for his missing testicle. Its a preexisting condition.
Duchess of Dork | November 14, 2007 at 5:34 pm
Gross. Fuck Lance. He left his wife after all the shit she did for him, and now he’s dating this?
WTF? | November 14, 2007 at 5:37 pm
What do you mean oberservation? They are in the same elementary school class!
wasku | November 14, 2007 at 5:38 pm
She always looks malnourished. Pale and dry….
WTF? | November 14, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Oops!
(sp) observation
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I respect Lance. He came back from cancer to become the greatest champion in the history of his sport. He knows how to be aggressive when it’s necessary to win. His old, fat, nagging wife? Gone. A true champ aint got time for that noise. Hooks up with Sheryl Crow, she gets boob cancer. GONE. Say what you will, but any honest guy would tell you he’d do the same thing – take Ashley’s small but natural and healthy mini-boobs over Sheryl’s sagging sacks of scars and radiation burns. She beat cancer too? Good for you, says Lance…now beat it. Those standards are what makes him a champion.
Summer Kat | November 14, 2007 at 5:47 pm
They are dating!!?! No way….why Lance why?
Sizzurp | November 14, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Her and her sister are like Tim Burton characters, only skinnier.
yukadoozer | November 14, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Day of the Dead was the 31st-as in Halloween…she missed the parade.
Lance is a superduper kalifragilisticexpialidocious looooooosssser.
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 5:51 pm
7- you are seriously pathetic..
alright ya fuckers, I’m off to the bar..
thatgirl | November 14, 2007 at 5:51 pm
hey veggi…lance and sheryl broke up before she found out she had cancer. if you are going to bring up his past relationships, at least know what the hell you are talking about.
and on another note, is ashley’s nose brown in this picture? like “i was a scarecrow for halloween” brown?
thatgirl | November 14, 2007 at 5:53 pm
oh. so apparently you’re an imposter of the real veggi. my apologies. so whoever you are #7, you’re a moron.
SallyPopkorn | November 14, 2007 at 5:53 pm
you can have sex without boobs.
Ted from LA | November 14, 2007 at 5:54 pm
veggi’s troll is a usless piece of shit. Get over yourself dude. You aren’t funny.
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Ted, lay off dude, you’re obsession with me is off-putting. I don’t swing that way.
Guy | November 14, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Brown nose
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Oh Ted, you’re my hero! Thanks for saving me! Let’s fuck!
…dreams Ted
kagres | November 14, 2007 at 5:59 pm
YUCK! it looks like someone punched her in the nose
ScuttlingCrab | November 14, 2007 at 6:00 pm
I like Veggi’s troll. The rest of you are morons, look at your comments and compare them with his. He at least makes a point.
nothing wrong | November 14, 2007 at 6:08 pm
If you think Ashley is ugly thats fine, but lay off the small boobs. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with having small boobs, in fact they have their advantages!
FRIST!!! | November 14, 2007 at 6:09 pm
#20, why? Is it you, shuttlecrap?? Otherwise why do you assume that it is male?
Lance | November 14, 2007 at 6:09 pm
After I recovered from surgery, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. I mean, testicle. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It’s breathtaking… I highly suggest you try it.
Ted from LA | November 14, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Weird – last night I had a dream where, right at a critical moment, FRIST said “Is it you, shuttlecrap?”
*AGATHA* | November 14, 2007 at 6:12 pm
man!!!! her nose looks like it is falling/rotting away
blluuhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*AGATHA* | November 14, 2007 at 6:12 pm
man!!!! her nose looks like it is falling/rotting away
blluuhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*AGATHA* | November 14, 2007 at 6:13 pm
man!!!! her nose looks like it is falling/rotting away
blluuhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Splooge | November 14, 2007 at 6:18 pm
21 You are so full of shit. Small boobs are terrible. They’re pathetic. Any woman who is not naturally gifted in the boob department and doesn’t want to pay for implants is a pathetic loser!!
Any guy that says he prefers small boobs is a closet gay, who will one day realize hey I don’t like boobs at all, I like manly chest hair!!
mamadough | November 14, 2007 at 6:20 pm
God, she’s just vapid, isn’t she? i wonder if they bang while watching re-runs of “full house”…..i hope she gets cancer and has to loose half of a pussy lip….then they would belong together.
TS | November 14, 2007 at 6:24 pm
OK, although I don’t necessarily agree with Veggi’s troll, I can see the logic there. That’s an honest point of view held by many men (especially ultra-competetive ones). And although heartless, not all that uncommon. Not something needed to be said under the guise of being someone else. Sack up, man, and make your point as yourself, don’t be a pussy. You sound intelligent enough to defend yourself. Now if you’d just grow some nuts…
#12, relax, you must be new here, otherwise you’d know that you’re talking to someone pretending to be someone else. Sit back and observe til you figure it out.
Another Don Julio Anejo please.
s0fa | November 14, 2007 at 6:25 pm
at one time she just looked like a skeletor. now she just looks like a crack whore. maybe not even a crack whore cause she’s not remotely hot, but just a crackhead
28 – ppl with small boobs are pathetic AND losers? wow.
Splooge | November 14, 2007 at 6:36 pm
31 – glad you’re agreeing with me!!
Ript1&0 | November 14, 2007 at 6:37 pm
The scarves are there to tie Lance up like the bitch that he is. She’s gotta have them at all times, ready for the moment…. it could be any minute now.
He’s hard to catch, they say he’s pretty light on his feet, but the second she wrangles him off that bike that one testicle is all hers, baby.
dan | November 14, 2007 at 6:37 pm
umm.. did lance send her to Sheryl Crowe look alike camp?
L.Linus | November 14, 2007 at 6:54 pm
You guy are truely heartless about Lance’s wife. Who know if she a nag or not. She supported his ass through thick and thin and he dump her like a sack of shit. Sheryl Crowe , well she just sucked and had too much Hollyweird in her. Ashley Olsen, damn I agree with #3 DoD, does she even have a vagina. I don’t care if she has small boobs, that’s fine, but has she even had sex. Oh Lance, you’re my first, shit that got to make your day, not!!
NeverHappy | November 14, 2007 at 6:56 pm
This girl never smiles. How does she get work in Hollywood? It can’t be cause of her blow jobs. She never smiles.
LL | November 14, 2007 at 7:07 pm
At the risk of seeming quaint and old-fashioned, isn’t he, like, twice her age? At some point, when you’re old enough, you look like your girlfriend’s dad, it’s kinda icky. I don’t expect anyone with a penis to agree, but whatever. She doesn’t look like she’s reached puberty, but surely she could do better, at least get someone within 10 years of her age and not an old dude with one testicle.
T | November 14, 2007 at 7:16 pm
she has a pimple on her eyebrow
23apples | November 14, 2007 at 7:24 pm
WHO CARES ABOUT HER BOOBS, WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HER BROWN NOSE??? Is this on purpose or does she have a disease?
bri | November 14, 2007 at 7:49 pm
what the hell is wrong with her nose?
Dave | November 14, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Bad gal. Now she is dating a young good-looking guy on millionaire dating site (Millionairematch.com/photo/bloger) What will her father say?
Unlikeable J | November 14, 2007 at 11:45 pm
She looks like something you would find at a midwestern cattle ranch after a dust storm
And would the real Veggi please stand up?
FRT | November 15, 2007 at 12:12 am
Man o man are there a lot of FREAKS out there! And the Olsen twins are 2 of them! Man…”one-nut” must be into the look-at-me-I’m-just-a-pasty-white-young-porno-slut-and-I’ll-pretend-to-be-a-school-girl-for-you!
Sterioids must have fried his brain as well as his nuts!
Danklin24 | November 15, 2007 at 1:29 am
Its SCARVES you nincompoop.
jolin | November 15, 2007 at 5:45 am
pretty gloden hair and warm clothes. i heard that her profile on a dating line called sugarcupid.com is very popular, may friends told me that her photos there are sexy. i can not imagine, because this one is casual and fashinable.
I have had sex | November 15, 2007 at 9:10 am
the writer must be a virgin, because boobs are not necessary for sex.
i have had sex | November 15, 2007 at 9:15 am
people who have giant boobs are usually fat or whores (implants) and have stretch marks on their tits. giant boob lovers are usually truck drivers and white trash and teenage boys who are so inexperienced that they only notice that difference between men and women. large boobs are ok, medium, and small… especially when the woman has a nice figure and pretty face and isn’t sloppy idiot trash.
Hannah T | November 15, 2007 at 9:55 am
Squillions of dollars and yet no hairbrush in sight. *Sigh*
Lisa | November 15, 2007 at 10:06 am
She look like that kid from the jim henson movie “DARK CRYSTAL”
JayJayJay from Uruguay | November 15, 2007 at 10:31 am
#35 she has a vagina. I stuck my tongue in it the other day. mmmm…… creamy