Ashley Greene in a Body Paint Bikini

Here’s the final product of Ashley Greene’s nude, Sobe-sponsored photo shoot for Sports Illustrated that’s been leaking in bits and pieces all week. I’m not an energy drinker myself, but thanks to this genius marketing decision, I’m now paying a homeless man to run to the store for Crisco because my penis is stuck in a Sobe bottle. (Someone better pay me for that endorsement.)