Ashley Greene in a Body Paint Bikini

January 8th, 2010 // 273 Comments

Here’s the final product of Ashley Greene’s nude, Sobe-sponsored photo shoot for Sports Illustrated that’s been leaking in bits and pieces all week. I’m not an energy drinker myself, but thanks to this genius marketing decision, I’m now paying a homeless man to run to the store for Crisco because my penis is stuck in a Sobe bottle. (Someone better pay me for that endorsement.)

superficial

  1. Lilac

    well, the fact that there is a gravity on earth guarantees that should the real breast really exist, they will not stand like two balls, but will tend to go a little bit south at least. woman that say that their tits are not this way – you either lie or its because there is not much hanging at your chest that a gravity can affect.

  2. mzz

    i don’t think her breasts sag at all. they look beautiful

  3. JamesToselandisGay

    I would fuck her, but Logan Stanton is worthy of my creamy jizz.

  4. What to say man? I am speechless completely after seeing this. What a natural beauty she is! Too hot I must say. The way she is looking in the pic is really arousing . I like her very much in these body paint pics. Thanks.

  5. Jeff

    those are the biggest feet i have ever seen on a bird!!!!!!

  6. Jeff

    those are the biggest feet i have ever seen on a bird!!!!!!

  7. Jeff

    those are the biggest feet i have ever seen on a bird!!!!!!

  8. Here at Dipstix, we must say it, no matter how corny it is coming from a spice co…SPICY!

  9. Jack

    Are you guys nuts! I can tell most of you guys have never slept w a woman before. Her tits are beautiful, and she’s a pretty girl. If your only contact w a real woman is through Fish. Get a f*ckin life. Ladies, this is beautiful. Nothing compares to the feel and look of real breast. I like when it falls a little, it gives it more motion and giggle… Fake tits can look good in pictures and under clothes, but they’re horrible in bed.

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  11. World Elite

    Now how come when I was in high school, my guidance counselor never mention the career of painting models, or actresses. I feel like I have been robbed of a awesome career path.

  12. skdjfhskjdhfs

    I found a great dating site_______M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e. C O M ________. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties. what’s the most important is that you don’t have to be a millionaire, but you can meet one. Rihanna is searching for her true love on that s i te now.______TTTTTTTT_____

  13. skdjfhskjdhfs

    I found a great dating site_______M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e. C O M ________. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties. what’s the most important is that you don’t have to be a millionaire, but you can meet one. Rihanna is searching for her true love on that s i te now.______TTTTTTTT_____

  14. spicy

    Number 10 said it correctly.

  15. Rex

    I agree with 100 and 10, and this post is not making it any easier for me to stop spanking the monkey (My new years promise)

  16. Galtacticus

    That’s a good paint job! Even the nipples are sanded away!

  17. Boogeyman King Dong

    Damn! Where Ashley Greene gurl nipple?!

  18. Nero

    Was her cameltoe sanded away as well? where’re the pics?!

  19. Waistline: females should have one

    The debate about whether her boobs look saggy or not has apparently distracted every single person on this site from the fact that she has the TORSO of a MALE.

    Btw, considering they’re natural, the tits look just like they’re suppose to…

  20. Anon

    @119 – I WAS JUST THINKING THAT. About the man torso.

  21. Must adapt the Saving habit-:

    Save up to 42% on flight and hotel room

    #!!>Now Airline $1 Ticket

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    #!!>Now Rental $1 Car

    ==Only 1 DOLLAR==

    Recycle An Old T-Shirt into a Sexy Bikini

  22. Insatiable Peter

    I would forego my completion of a novel, world travel, and goal to shoot a film and categorically state my life is complete after sex with this woman.

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  24. Meow

    Dude, check out that sobe bottle, it’s hot.

  25. terri

    is it me or do boobs look saggy

  26. Meh, I’m better looking than her. Her genes are blah.

  27. Meh

    Expect a “Don’t treat me like a sex object” comment from her shortly (in typical hollywood “here I am naked, but don’t think of me this way” braindead attention whoring fashion). Wait for it…

  28. who dat

    Post 126 show us pics or get lost. We’ll be the judge of whether you are better looking.

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  30. Sick is right

    126. Sickitten – January 9, 2010 6:42 AM

    Meh, I’m better looking than her. Her genes are blah.

    Youre an idiot. And, full of shit. Keep telling yourself that though… maybe one day you’ll actually convince yourself while you whither away in your parents basement working on that stellar website of yours.

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  32. gen

    126

    I looked at your site, and apparently you’re better-looking than Ava Gardner too? What is your problem? I think I’m good looking too, but I don’t sit around saying what celebrities I think I’m hotter than. I just let guys I know be the judge. Why the fuck should anyone on the internet CARE if you are or aren’t good looking

  33. hmmm

    ugly feet

  34. So what I want to know is, where do I go to school to learn to be one of these body painting guys. Sounds like an awesome job.

  35. jandra

    i don’t care what anyone says, you are very sharp witted and you always make me laugh out loud. that’s why we keep coming back here mr. thesuperficial! that and the tits.

  36. Ifuckedup

    Yep! I picked the wrong career!
    Body painting would have been MUCH MUCH more rewarding!!!!

  37. w00t!

    i dont really get the point of this. why dont you just wear a normal bikini instead of wasting time painting one on and then ‘shopping the nips out? i’m not some pervert, i’m a 25 year old woman. but i dont get it!!! wtf is so wrong with a nipple? someone must do this properly. i’d suggest angelina but then i think the whole world would spontaneously combust from sheer awesomeness.

  38. Social

    Anyone else notice the not so hidden advertisements? :D

  39. carlito

    Smokin’ hot simply as that – yes shes (a bit) droopy but you just know its because she loves to ride hard in a reverse cow-girl EVERY night. Its worse on the tits than jogging and you aint going to wear a sports bra for that are ya?

  40. toothepoint

    This, for the imbeciles weened on fake tits and plastic faces, is a truly beautiful young woman. Fuck me, you should be thanking your lucky stars you have the gift of sight! There are a a poor blind bunch of buggers somewhere who would give the world to feast their eyes on this glory.

  41. Sick kitten is a vapid whore

    “Grace Kelly

    True beauty but this is my humble opinion that Ava Gardner doesn’t belong in this class.

    Am I right?’

    straight from your lame ass, ugly, website . so you have to belittle people that are far hotter than you, more accomplished than you, and in this case, icons of their era, why again? Same reason you came on here and posted about how your fucked up ugly ass genes are ‘better than hers’. GuaranTEE you’re an ugly ass tramp. Seriously, stop trying to generate web traffic to what may be the ugliest site i’ve ever seen, and go find a tall bldg to take a header off of. Then again based on your over bloated opinion of yourself, you probably think your busted ass can fly. Cunt.

  42. amanda

    heres my prob with the ava gardner thing: she was lovely. i happen to find that style of hair and dress attractive and i do think grace kelly was prettier but being as women dont rock that look anymore its very hard to judge.

  43. her waist seems a little too wide for her body type but still ultra fit and very pretty.

  44. real beauty

    She is gorgeous. I love this. I just think they could have painted on a more flattering bikini. The one-piece is better. I think it is the bikini that is making so many people think she is saggy (which, as a woman with big boobs, I can tell you she is perfect!).

  45. OMG she so gorgeous..I like that fish skin bikini

  46. Alice should have looked into the future and seen that her boobs were going to sag, maybe she woulda put a bra on it.

    http://www.thegirlsguidetodepravity.com/

  47. cc

    At 30 seconds of the video where’s she’s in red on the beach you can see her as God (bless him) made her. She does a fine job shaving.

  48. Bnasty

    i’m sorry but i’m in my mid 20′s and my tits dont fall into my armpits…

  49. YurePal

    @148 HAH! You weren’t joking except it was in the 29 second part in the youtube video I pulled up! HOT!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG1XtprrOrE

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