Ashley Greene is Banging Captain America

March 25th, 2011 // 48 Comments

And she’s even wearing the “A.” Fantastic.

Ashley Greene continues to enjoy her return to vaginal penetration after leaving Joe Jonas and has apparently steered her drunken bang-bus toward Captain America himself, Chris Evans, according to People:

But Chris Evans, who stars as the titular superhero in the upcoming action flick, was focused on one lady in particular Tuesday night at Trousdale Lounge in L.A.: Twilight star Ashley Greene.
“They were flirtatious and dancing closely together at points during the night,” an onlooker tells PEOPLE of the two. “They were talking a lot and whispering.”
Adds another clubgoer: “He was making her laugh, and she would push him in a flirty way.”

Wait? She pushed him? According to Internet comment logic, he should be allowed to punch her in the face. Bitch shouldn’t start none, ‘less she ready to finish.. none? I honestly had nothing to say here. This story went from Ashley Greene having sex with drunken strangers thus offering a glimmer of hope to, “Oh, look, she’s banging the guy chosen to personify American physical perfection now.” Next, she’ll probably blow the meathead who called you a “fag” in high school, then queef on your Magic: The Gathering cards for good measure. — I should go put those in sleeves.

Photos: Getty


  1. Dan

    Ashley Greene… I can understand wanting to get away from the Jonas brother, but seriously, being too promiscuous is just as bad.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Whoa there,Dan….when did close dancing with a guy become a sign that you are promiscuous? For that matter when did whispering, talking, being flirtatious or God forbid making someone laugh, suddenly become the international signal that you are fucking the other party. WTF is the matter with people that a young woman is automatically fucking the guy because she is friendly.
      Beside that, this whole story was probably given to People by the JoBros to cast her in a bad light to make Joe look like the good guy. “Honest, she was cheating on me with other guys the whole time.I mean look she is dancing.laughing and having fun, she has to be banging him!”- Joe Jonas

      • Get with the program there dude lol, anyone seen with anyone is called “banging”. Hence the headline.

        ♫ The more you know.. ♪

      • truth

        TCC is waaayyyy off the mark again…

      • Dan

        Fair point… but if you are doing all these things (flirting, etc.) with different guys and then leaving the club with them in tow night after night, people begin to form ideas in their heads about what kind of person you are, right or wrong.

        Not 100%, but usually, the conclusion you come to is right…

        Now usually when you leave the club with someone, you fuck them. Am I right? That is how it has always worked with me.

    • Keith

      Having multiple sexual partners at age 24 is not “being promiscuous”, it called “being normal”.

    • I would have responded sooner. but TCC. this is just one big publicity stunt . or your standard operational one. why she needs all the publicity is beyond me unless she is having problems getting acting jobs outside of Twilight.

      • The Critical Crassness

        LD, I know that, but you know I love playing the Devil’s Advocate! Sure did prompt some responses, though…LOL!

    • bill landron

      Seriously, this chick doesn’t get me hard. Why do we care about these actress stories??? Keep the porn sluts who take nice long enemas and like cocks in their ass please!!! I like to know about those kind of girls.

  2. the limey captain america? sheesh wont be long she’ll be talking like madonna

    • vitobonespur

      Chris Evans isn’t British. He was born in Massachusettes.

      Regardless of who she’s fucking, the problem I have with Ashley Greene is that I’m not one of them.

  3. Ashley Greene Chris Evans
    Commented on this photo:

    sooooo fuckable…. ugh

  4. JC

    Right on, Fish. Chris Evans is busy doing his Christ-like art, man. He don’t need no guff from this startin’-shit ho. He should knock her out a window with a chair, then tell those haters to stop their hatin’.

  5. Larry

    It’s great when the hot chicks raised by fundamentalist parents finally get laid and realize what a cruel joke their parents played on them by forcing them to stay virgins against the natural order of things. Then they screw their brains out and have a blast (a.k.a Katy Perry) and mock all their fundamentalist fans whose parents bought all their movies and CD at Walmart because they they were so “wholesome”.

    • truth

      Oh yeah, cuz getting STDs or preggers in high school is such a joy. Yes, their parents are surely playing a “cruel joke” on them. Moron.

    • Morgan

      Getting passed around like a bong isn’t free-spirited or cool, it’s just trashy.

      Here’s a metaphor for you:
      A key that opens any lock – Master key.
      A lock that is opened by any key – Pretty shitty.

      • Dan

        @Morgan – that is a pretty smart metaphor

      • Keith

        Why do you confuse consensual sex between two people with “getting passed around”. Sound like something a fundamentalist would say – everything is black or white – there exists no in-between in life.

      • Keith

        “Here’s a metaphor for you:
        A key that opens any lock – Master key.
        A lock that is opened by any key – Pretty shitty.”

        Actually, the metaphor just perpetuates the double standard:

        A guy who opens any lock is a “master key” – a stud.But,
        A lock that is opened by any key is “pretty shitty’. So, your fundamentalism appears to also include a healthy dose of sexism.

  6. cc

    The fact that she isn’t dating me is all the proof I need that there isn’t a God.

  7. Rough without a clause. Needs intern

    Throughout this week shes been having a 90% off blow out sale in her vagina exclusively to entertainment dweebs. I need to check with my lawyer. As a tax paying consumer, I feel discriminated against.

  8. Ashley Greene Chris Evans
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    THIS is “Captain America”???????
    What kind of amazing CGI techniques will they be using to make this casting remotely plausible?

  9. Richard McBeef

    The “A” necklace means she does anal. It’s kinda like the scarlet letter, but not really like that at all.

  10. Ashley Greene Chris Evans
    Commented on this photo:

    dude.. the bitch is super hot. something weird though. like her resemblance to Michael Jackson.

  11. Senor VonBonBons III

    American physical perfection? I see wonk-eye, several ugly moles, a double chin, a receding hairline and a patchy douchebag goatee…

    • Dan

      I honestly was thinking the same thing… maybe he is better looking in the skin tight outfit or something. I don’t think the face would do it for the ladies.

    • ohlawd

      It’s like when Fish posts pictures of Katy Perry or Blake Lively wearing clothes that don’t showcase boobs and legs.

      As a chick, I do think Chris Evans is generally really hot, but his face alone… meh.

    • Jennyjenjen

      I’m not sure if this exists, but if it does.. Captain America needs a smile coach.

  12. v-tard

    I never realised before that Chris Evans is very slightly wall-eyed.

  13. Arzach

    Poor girl all that time in abstinence, she´s making up for that

  14. Passin’ that shit around like a party favor. Go girl. Show everyone what’s up.

  15. Burt

    Who is she and what happened to her face?

  16. the one


  17. kulit

    downgrade… for chris evans.

  18. Marceelf

    If you had to walk around holding Josie Jonas’s hand for six months while he borrowed your lipgloss, you might want to be reminded that men exist too!

  19. anonym

    yo ashley.

    need to do something about that flat ass……

  20. spinal

    Imagining these two creepy wax mummies having sex isn’t doing anything for me…

  21. Ashley Greene Chris Evans
    Commented on this photo:

    Wtf? He used to be hot

  22. Ashley Greene Chris Evans
    Commented on this photo:

    I would make a nice cup of panty tea from her soft delicate undergarments. After she wore them for a day, I would seep those panties in some nice hot water, then sit back and sip the sweet nectar. Ashley, call me…

  23. I would make a nice cup of panty tea from her soft delicate undergarments. After she wore them for a day, I would seep those panties in some nice hot water, then sit back and sip the sweet nectar. Ashley, call me…

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