Ashley Greene is Banging Captain America
And she’s even wearing the “A.” Fantastic.
Ashley Greene continues to enjoy her return to vaginal penetration after leaving Joe Jonas and has apparently steered her drunken bang-bus toward Captain America himself, Chris Evans, according to People:
But Chris Evans, who stars as the titular superhero in the upcoming action flick, was focused on one lady in particular Tuesday night at Trousdale Lounge in L.A.: Twilight star Ashley Greene.
“They were flirtatious and dancing closely together at points during the night,” an onlooker tells PEOPLE of the two. “They were talking a lot and whispering.”
Adds another clubgoer: “He was making her laugh, and she would push him in a flirty way.”
Wait? She pushed him? According to Internet comment logic, he should be allowed to punch her in the face. Bitch shouldn’t start none, ‘less she ready to finish.. none? I honestly had nothing to say here. This story went from Ashley Greene having sex with drunken strangers thus offering a glimmer of hope to, “Oh, look, she’s banging the guy chosen to personify American physical perfection now.” Next, she’ll probably blow the meathead who called you a “fag” in high school, then queef on your Magic: The Gathering cards for good measure. — I should go put those in sleeves.